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Neo Jokes

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How do you chop a neo nazi's dick off?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

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Why are neo-Nazis the highest per-capita consumers of men's sex toys?

Because they prefer their flesh light.

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A neo-nazi walks into a bar…

How someone can hit their head multiple times on a metal bar while lying on the ground is a mystery, but that’s what the eyewitnesses are saying.

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Q: What do you call 500 neo-Nazis at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A good start.

Q: What do you call 500 triathletes at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A bad start.

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Maybe replacement theory is correct.

Even neo-nazi's are being replaced by black people.

Neo walks in to a resturant...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS 'NO SPOON'?!

Why didn't Neo ever cuddle Trinity from behind in bed?

Because there is no spoon.

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Neo-nazis don’t praise Hitler

They praise the man who killed him

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I don't support Trump, but I would never denigrate his supporters

If you're a Trump supporter, "denigrate" means "to put down."

Trinity: "I really can't stay." Neo:

"Baby it's code outside."

A socialist, a nihilist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar and order drinks

"We don't sell alcohol to anyone under 18", says the bartender.

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What was the Neo Nazi's favorite computer game?

Mein Kraft

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Why do neo-nazis drink milk?

Because they hate juice

Why was Neo's mom so good at math?

Because when she was pregnant, she carried the one.

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What do you call uncircumcised neo-nazis?

Foreskin heads

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‘I was at that neo-nazi march today’ “was it any good?”

‘It was alt-right’

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I posted an Asian Neo-Nazi post on facebook.

It's already got 50 reichs

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This is one of those gems thought up at 4 am, why does nobody listen to Neo-Nazis?

It's all just white noise.

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So, a Neo-Nazi walks into a Jewish man's bar...

One day, a local outspoken Neo-Nazi walks into a bar. The owner is a devout Jewish man who was talking with his brother as the Neo Nazi walks up to bar. The Neo-Nazi orders a burger, which the bartender serves. He eats the burger, pays the bartender with a tip, and leaves.

The Jewish man's b...

Neo probably should have taken the blue pill

Ask Hugh Hefner.

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What's the difference between god and a kind-hearted neo nazi?

God might actually exist.

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In an upcoming film, Matthew McConaughey is going to play a Neo-Nazi

He’s gonna be alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

Apparently Trump is a neo-Marxist

He wants to seize the means of reproduction.

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A Neo-Nazi walks into a cafe...

He walks up to the counter and asks for a coffee

"How do you like your coffee sir, black or white?"
Says the server

"Could I have it white with no milk please"
Replies the Neo-Nazi

"Isn't that a black coffee?"
Inquires the server

...

The Neo-Nazi replies...

Why did Neo have to eat his cereal with a fork?

Cos there is no spoon

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What is a Neo-Nazi's favourite brand of underwear?

Rightie Whities.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to his daughter's fiancee?

You're an alt-right guy.

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My friend rents out his buildings— one to the neo- Nazis, and the other to the KKK.

He is a leaser of two evils.

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Why don't neo-nazis use the forward button on their browsers?

Because they Alt-Right instead.

How do you heal burns in The Matrix?

Neo-Sporin

I went out to dinner with Neo from The Matrix when I saw him eating soup with a fork.

He kept insisting there was no spoon!

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Joke I just made up: what's a neo nazis favorite sports drink?

White powerade!

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Apparently the same firm rents buildings to both ISIS and Neo-Nazis.

You could say they're the lessor of two evils.

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Did you hear about the Neo-Nazi Fascist whose left arm fell off?

I heard he's alt-right now.

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The first time I heard about Neo Nazis, I was confused because of The Matrix

I was like, "There's no way Neo could be a Nazi! He lives in a place called Zion and most of his friends are black!"

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What is the most common ingredient in the neo-nazi cookbook?

WHITE FLOUR! WHITE FLOUR! WHITE FLOUR! WHITE FLOUR!

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Either a lying war criminal endorsed by the KKK or a Neo Nazi reality TV star are going to be President of America.

It's not funny. But it is a fucking joke. America, sort your shit out.

Elon Musk rewatches The Matrix.

Realizes that Neo is the good guy.

People should not condemn recently blinded people.

It’s not their fault they are Neo-Not Sees.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

Agent Smith

A long time ago, when Agent Smith was newly generated, he was tasked to kill the rogue program, The Oracle, and her son. He was new to the Matrix, and was unaware of her capabilities. So he tried to delete her by firing at her with his gun, though the Oracle safely removed herself and her son from d...

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I got kicked out of Comic-Con for assaulting a guy who didnt know who Keanu Reeves played in The Matrix

That was the second time I've been called a neo-nazi.

A lemon gets sick

A lemon is walking home late one night and gets caught in a thunderstorm. With no raincoat or umbrella around, he toughs it out and paces home as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately, the lemon ends up catching a cold with some light fever and coughs from prolonged exposure in the rain and cold...

It's the year 2295...

Dude: I'm a classically trained guitarist.

Neo-90s Kid: Radical!

Dude: So anyway, here's Wonderwall.

Hey Siri, teach me Kung Fu!

Neo, you need to unlock your iPhone first.

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A woman asks her friend whether she should date an anti-semite.

Friend: "He sounds really nice!"

Woman: "I know...but he's always spouting unsubstantiated, racist nonsense, marching, and carrying around some sort of sign."

Friend: "Oh, he's a Neo-Nazi. That's a huge red flag."

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Lawyers and their dogs.

In 1989 the University of Nottingham funded a study to explore the relationship that develops between people and their dogs.

They got three people with dogs: an architect, a mathematician, and a lawyer. The took the dogs and put them in a large room, placing three biscuits in front of each d...

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