This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend asked me, “Would you rather have sex with Angelina Jolie or Mila Kunis?”

I said, “Of course.”

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Three men crash land on a desert island, 3 days later they find a magic lamp in the sand on the beach

>**this joke works best if you do the actions when you're telling it**

The men get very excited about the lamp and as they dust the sand away it hums and buzzes before a genie emerges in a puff of blue smoke.

"You have freed me from my prison," says the Genie, "For this, I will give...

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A Russian dreams in English

from Mila Kunis AMA

Question: Do you ever think in russian? What about dreams?

Mila Kunis:
> I dream in english. That actually happened, later in life, but now I dream in english. When I learned to speak english fluently, my dreams changed to english.

>*Strange, right?*...

[Long] A man and his wife are living in a cabin in the woods...

One day, the man goes to the well to get some water for the cabin before going to chop firewood, and clumsily drops his trusty hatchet into the well. The spirit of the well rises and says 'I am the spirit of the well, and help those who lose possesions in my well'. He asks the man what he needs help...

A guy is on the corner of the street waiting to hail a cab and he has a giant peach for a head...

Another man comes up to him and says "I'm sorry, I couldn't help but notice that you have a giant peach for a head; what's up with that?"

The man with a giant peach for a head responds "It's kind of a funny story actually."

He explains that on his last birthday a genie appeared to him ...

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