This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was playing Football Manager on my laptop when I was offered the Milan job.

I knew it was a shit squad with no future, so I declined the offer.

I then put the phone down and got back to Football Manager.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At a Sunday family lunch, a daughter, good student aged 20, announces that she is pregnant.

Father drops the fork and knife in shock. Mother looks at her in total disbelief. None of them are able to say a word for couple of seconds, before yelling starts... What was she thinking about? Of course she does not plan to keep it? They invested so much in her education, how could she do this? Wh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A friend of mine bought tickets to the UCL final...

A friend of mine bought tickets to the UCL Final in Milan this Saturday (Real Madrid v Athletico)

The problem is that he completely forgot that Saturday is his wedding day because he bought the tickets a few months before agreeing to the wedding date

Now he wants to know if anyone is...

Funeral director joke

A man died one day and his wife went to the funeral home to make the necessary arrangements. The funeral home director asked her if there's anything she thinks her husband would have wished for his funeral.

"Actually there is something", she said. "We've always had this plan that one day we'l...

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