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Abbreviation Jokes

I've asked so many people what the abbreviation LGBTQA+ stands for.

I never get a straight answer.

Does anyone else have trouble remembering whether the postal abbreviation for Maine is ma, mi or mn?

Or is it just me?

Which U.S. state abbreviation is the best?

I'm not sure, but Oklahoma's is OK.

I guess my girlfriend doesn't like it when I use too many abbreviations.

She got pretty mad at me today for referring to her Bible Study as BS.

I hate when people misuse abbreviations

smh my head

I do not like using abbreviations to refer to multiple people

Not et al.

Whats a sugar free drink's favorite abbreviation?

0mg

France just made a 2 letter abbreviation for their country

Oh, fr?

Text abbreviations for seniors.

• ATD: At The Doctor's

BTW: Bring The Wheelchair

• BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

• CGU: Can't Get Up

• FWIW: Forgot Where I Was

• GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

• GHA: Got Heartburn Again

IMHAO: Is My Hearing Aid On?

• LMDO: Laughing My ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fuck abbreviations

And everything they stand for

If you have any doubt whether your reader will understand an abbreviation, write the term out in full.

Otherwise, he will be left in the position of the farmer who shot a crow, then noticed the tag on its leg: ``Wash. Biol. Surv.''

The next day he was talking with his neighbor about the last night's dinner: ``I followed the directions, washed it, boiled it, and put it on the table. Damn crow ...

I have an uncontrollable hatred for abbreviations!

Ask me anything.

I'm giving up abbreviations for Lent.

Laugh Out Loud

Some people love abbreviations, such as: "n/a".

But that's not applicable to me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A middle manager was called into HR for a harmless ice breaker.

"Do you know why you've been sent here? One of your new employees, Gina, has levied sexual harassment allegations against you". The stern HR rep asserted.

"What!? Gina!? Oh god, no this must be a mistake! I've only known her for a few days!" The manager replied perplexed and shocked.

"...

True story: my org is discussing the new name for our next project...

Our current project "Servicing 2" is finishing soon. There is discussion around naming the next version, and "Servicing X" came from a "trendy" exec. I mentioned a good abbreviation could be "ServX". I'm waiting for either a commendation or a write-up.

A man starts a new job as a bartender.

The manager of the bar was showing him around and said, "You need to know that the customers here order drinks in a peculiar way."

"How so?" asked the new bartender.

"Well, they use a lot of abbreviations instead of the names of the drinks."

"Doesn't sound so bad, I think I can ...

I called my cat Photoshop...



...but she reacts only to abbreviation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the shittiest part of Object Oriented Programming?

Reading the abbreviation backwards.

Girl walks into the BBC office for an audition

Has difficulty walking back out. In hindsight she should have looked up the different abbreviations.

An English lady, while vacationing in Switzerland, fell in love with a small town and the surrounding countryside.

She asked the pastor of a local church if he knew of any houses with rooms to rent that were close to town, but out in the country. The pastor kindly drove her out to see a house with a room to rent. She loved the house and decided to rent the room. Then, the lady returned to her home in England to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some good tips for your English class.

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] SSW

Three generations of women go to their annual checkup at the gynecologist.

First up is the youngest, the doc does the default checks and tells her that everything is fine, she just wants to know how often she has sex. She replies: "SSW". The doc is confused and asks her what SSW means and her...

Just some funny one-liners

1. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
2. Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
3. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
4. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
5. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to ...

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