(A tad NSFW) A friend got really mad at me for smelling his sister’s underwear.

I don’t know if it’s because she was still wearing them, or because the whole family was there. Either way, it made the rest of the funeral very awkward.

A frog took a DNA test

The results said he was 20% British, 30% French and a tad Pole.

A frog did one of those ancestry tests.

She found out she was a little English, a little French and a tad Pole.

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This bloke walks into the poshest restaurant in town.

'Where's the pissing, motherfucking manager, you cocksucking arsewipe?' he inquires of one of the waiters. The waiter is taken-aback and replies, 'Excuse me sir but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here. I will get the manager as soon as I can'.

The manager comes o...

We did a DNA test on our bullfrog from Arkansas…

Surprisingly, it was about 80% French, 15% German, and a tad Pole…

An American white guy visits India.

Wanting to get a more authentic experience, he goes to an Indian restaurant and tells them to serve him their specials, no questions asked. After eating a few bites, he calls the waiter and says, "Hey, this is brilliant food, but I just have a tiny request. This is a tad bit too spicy for my taste, ...

Everyone in this town is a bit tad strange.

Except, ironically, for Tad Strange.

He likes bread.

An elderly Australian woman is visiting her son in the US for his birthday.

She arrives at LAX early in the morning and arranges to drive to his house, in New Orleans, in order to “take in the scenery” and see what the American South has to offer.

She drives at a leisurely pace, and stops at scenic viewpoints whenever possible, knowing she has some time to get to he...

A frog went for a DNA test...

The results came back 99.9% amphibian and a tad Polish.

Jesus, Moses, and Muhammad walk into a bar...

...and they all agree their boss can be a tad too demanding at times.

A frog mother takes her children to register for a Polish daycare...

The man at the door says that he can not allow her child to register for the day care without the proper identifcation. "You see this is a Polish daycare only for the slavic people we do not let anyone in if they do not have any Polish blood in them."
The mother unsure of her ancenstry leaves det...

Did you hear about the frog that had family from Warsaw?

He was a Tad-Pole

My friend has a French mother, and his dad's great-grandad was from Warsaw.

So he's half Frog and a tad Pole.

Did you hear about the young american indian frog tribe?

They were tad-pole dancers.

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A man commisions his three kids to each sell a duck

The eldest goes out, and returns having sold the duck for 5 dollars.
The middle child goes out, and returns a tad more successful having sold the duck for 10 dollars.
The youngest child goes out, and while at the market, gets propositioned by a lady of the night. He explains he has no money...

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Goldilocks and the three cars.

Goldilocks had grown into a fine young lady now, and so she decided to revisit the three bears, just to see how they were all doing.

As she wandered down the path, she ended up at their house, signed "The Three Bears".
She didn't see any sign of them around.

Typical.

Yet, so...

Red Car Day

Red car day - in Honor of my Dad

My dad died 7 years ago. He was a worker in a factory in NYC during the by-gone, post-war era when times were good and jobs were plenty. The guys he worked with were all good friends over the years and enjoyed harmless pranks against one another to pass the ti...

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A bloke walks into an extremely posh restaurant, sits down and waives the waiter over. "I want to see the cock-sucking, mother-fucking boss now," he says.

The waiter is naturally a bit taken aback and replies "Excuse me, sir, would you refrain from using that kind of language in here, I will get the manager as soon as I can."

The manager comes over and the bloke says "Are you the chicken fucking manager of this bastard joint?" "Yes sir, I am", ...

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A mom is setting up a chore-list for her kids...

She gets halfway through the month and realizes she has just one sticky note left. With plenty of time before she has to pick up the kids from school she decides to head over to office depot.
She arrives and is greeted by the doorman, Tom. Very polite local who she went to school with, tom is a ...

A frog decided to trace his genealogy one day...

He discovered he was a tad Polish.

I met a baby frog with a great grandfather that cam from Warsaw

He said that made him a tad Pole

Two European frogs discuss their ancestry

"So, are you a complete french frog?"

"No. I'm a tad-pole."

What do you call a frog from mixed ethnicity?

A Tad-polish

(Don't know if repost not trying to be)

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The Policeman & The Hispanic

It’s around the holiday season and Bob the policeman is scheduled to work. He decides to set up a speed trap at his favorite roadway in Arkansas.

It’s been a few hours and Bob hasn’t seen a single driver. Just then, suddenly a pickup truck flies past him doing well over double the speed limit...

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One day, a Mother Superior was attending to some matters just outside the main doors of her convent. She noticed that the Seven Dwarves had huddled some distance from her...

... and, as they argued amongst themselves, they kept throwing looks her way. After some time, one of them separated from the group to approach her. It was Doc.

“Good morning, Mother Sister. I mean Mother Superior. Really sorry to bother you, but could you help us settle an argument?”

...

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The Bard [Long]

Suzie was the teacher's pet - A's in every class. One day a stranger stood in front of the lecture hall for her writing course.
'Sorry students, your professor has been in a terrible accident and I will be leading this course for the remainder of the year.'
No problem - Suzie looked forward to...

Little Mary asks her mother: “Mum, why do people go to heaven with their legs up?”

A tad bit confused, her mother replies: “Mary, what do you mean by that?”

“Well”, Mary says. “This afternoon, I saw the maid laying on the kitchen table with her legs up. She was screaming: “Oh God, oh Lord, I’m coming, I’m coming!” Thankfully, daddy was laying right on top of her to stop her...

A panhandler stops a man and asks for some money to buy something to eat...

The man replied, "I'll tell you what I can do, seeing as I'm on my way to the pub, how about I buy you a drink?"


The homeless man proclaims, "but I do not drink, I'm just looking for money to get something to eat."


"Well how about a couple of good cigars I've received from my l...

So, the baby frog finally got his Ancestry.com results in...

It turns out he is a tad Polish.

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A young man, named Jeff, recently joined a marketing company

And he was doing kind of well. His ads were always slightly overperforming in contrast to many others who had "hit or miss" situations, but his good work were completely by John Avoh, who knocked it out of the park constantly, receiving praise, companies asking for him personally and so on and so fo...

An armless man dreams of being a bell ringer

There was once a man with no arms, who dreamed of becoming the bell ringer at the local church. One morning, he was feeling confident, and went to speak to the priest. The priest was flabbergasted at the armless man's request.

"But, sir," the priest said, "I don't mean to be rude, but with ...

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Headaches

This guy has been suffering these terrible, excruciating headaches for months and finally decides to go to the doctor, despite his aversion to doing so. He explains to the doctor what's going on, so the doctor decides to run the gamut of tests on him to see if they can pinpoint what's wrong.
<...

Did you know that every frog used to have at least some polish genes?

In fact, they were a tad-pole.

(OC) Where did the frog say his family came from?

"They are German and a tad-Polish"

What's your opinion on the mobius strip debate?

I find it a tad one-sided.

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Triplets

While in the later part of her pregnancy with triplets, a mother fears for the life of her children after a man trying to rob a corner store shot her three time in the stomach. After a lengthy surgery, the children had to be taken out but all had been pierced by one bullet each. The doctor was able ...

Osama, Ghaddafi, and Kim Jong Il?

Santa must be taking his naughty list a tad seriously this year.

Do you know where frogs come from?

They're German, Russian and a tad Polish

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An Indian learning English.

An Indian(like from India) is walking through the forest with his English teacher while the teacher points to and names objects. He points to a tree and says, "tree" the Indian repeats, "tree". They walk a little further and the teacher points to a rock and says, "rock" and the Indian repeats, "roc...

Jokes about turning into frogs

can be a tad polarizing.

A little bit of this a little bit of that

I once knew a little boy who was 3/4 French and 1/4 Polish. You could say he was only a tad Pole.

(I think I came up with this myself)

Topical Jokes (5/25-5/26)

Hey, sorry for the tardiness! Been on the road lately. Here's some jokes to cap up the last couple days.

Governor Christie met with Snooki over the weekend, but things got a tad awkward when Christie licked his lips and asked, "But seriously, are you actually a meatball?"

Big Catholic ...

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A man gets pulled over for speeding...

The officer walks up to the car and says, "Where you going in such a hurry?"

The man replies, "Well officer, I'm heading to work. I'm a tad late."

The officer says, "Oh yeah, what do you do for a living?"

"I'm an asshole stretcher." The man replies.

"Oh really. And how ex...

Vampire limerick

A tad less obvious than most.........

There was a young vampire called Mable,
who's periods were very stable.
Every full moon she would get out a spoon ,
and drink herself under the table.

I am really proud of my self this morning..

Last night I went out with my colleagues for New Year party.
After drinking a tad too many than I could handle, I made a sensible decision to leave car at the pub and take the bus home.

I am really proud of my self this morning, I had never driven a bus before!

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The first Wednesday of every month God and St. Peter meet to discuss the operations and logistics of Heaven...

...and, as usual, everything is great and fine; but they both notice that Heaven is starting to get a tad overcrowded. So, they both agree that from now on, not only do you have to be a good person when you die, you must also have had a bad day the day you died.

The next day, St. Peter takes...

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