UPJOKE

Why should you never argue with a decimal?

It‘s because they always have a point.

apologies if repost

My friend refuses to believe that working with decimals is easier than working with fractions.

He is missing the point.

My son was getting super stressed learning about decimals.

I guess you could say it was getting pretty tenths.

I like decimal place jokes.

Jokes about whole numbers just have no point.

People who can't tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals....

....are missing the point.

They stopped teaching decimals at the school for blind children

Nobody could see the point.

| don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.

It's pointless.

But, anyway. You gotta draw the line somewhere, or
else people will think you're being irrational. But
that is beside the point.

Why is it so difficult to differentiate a decimal and whole number for you

Because you never get the point.

I made this up on the spot and I'm really proud of it.

This isn't the best joke, but I'm really proud of how it came out. My sister and I are both in town visiting our parents for the first time in years. I keep dropping bad puns and my sister keeps yelling at me.

Tonight, we were telling stories from our youth, and I told her this one. She was r...

A student came to me and asked

"Is 200 zeroes a lot ?"

"depends on their position " I said "if they are after a decimal point, no"

"and if they are above pearl Pearl Harbor , then yes"

Want to see all the decimal digits of Pi?

They are {0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9}, and there are no others!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The library building based on the Dewey Decimal System

My town's new library has its floors organized according to the Dewey Decimal System. Books with a code from 001 to 099 are in the basement, and books with a code from 900 to 999 are on the top floor, for example. Books with a code from 100 to 199 are on the street-level floor by the main entrance. ...

Why don’t people use fractions over decimals

Because they are pointless

What’s better decimal jokes or integer ones?

Decimal jokes. Integer jokes just don’t have any point.

People are 63% more likely to believe a made up stat if you say it confidently

This increases to 78.47 if you add a decimal

Let's memorize the repeated decimal 0.818181..... forever.

You said you would never forget 9/11

Overrated.

My professor made me write a 30 page essay on differentiates an integer from a decimal...

I said that there's no point

Why was the fraction skeptics about marrying the decimal?

He was sure he would have to convert.

A recurring decimal walked into a bar

And never returned

Two options for keeping a budget that always has money.

Add a zero or move the decimal point.

it floats.

Whats the point?

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who can count in binary,

ternary, quaternary, quinary, senary, septenary, octal, nonary, decimal and hexadecimal, and those who weren't expecting a double-subverted binary joke.

What system was used to keep track of the Millennium Falcon's Library?

The Chewie-decimal system

I used to hate maths when i was a kid

But as you get older you realise that decimals have a point

When I was in school, I was obsessed with using fractions.

Finally I realized …decimals have a point.

Yesterday, I chose to only use binary.

Yesterday, I decided to stick to binary only, instead of the decimal system.
I went to the grocery store and I saw: "£10." I thought, "wow, that product is 101 times cheaper today!"

Study shows that...

Study shows that if you say 'study shows that' before saying a statement, people are 56% more likely to believe you and this number can increase to 71% if you add a random statistical data and to further amp up this number to 82.3% you can include decimals in that number as well.

Why can’t software developers distinguish between Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 == DEC 25

(hint: octal and decimal are numerical bases 8 and 10 respectively, happy holidays!)

A number is visiting a letter's house, where the letter is cooking a pi in the oven.

The number says "Decimal of that pi is so delicious. I wanna taste it so bad!"

The letter said "Alphabet you do."

What do librarians call breathalyzers?

The DUI decimal system

So, if you convert 9/11 into a decimal, you get 0.8181818181818181818181818181.... going on forever. What's the eighth letter of the alphabet? H. What's the first letter of the alphabet? A. That's right, ladies and germs. The Joker did 9/11.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does a horny librarian sort books?

They use the do me decimal system.

Everyone likes to laugh at other people's inability with numbers. However, 45% of people consider themselves bad at math, every twentieth member of the population hates decimals, 1 out of 5 people can't do mental arithmetic and 3/10 can't do fractions without a calculator.

Yet only one in a hundred find this funny.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL that Melvil Dewey, inventor of the Dewey Decimal system for organizing library collections, was known to be a serial sexual harasser.

Someone really should've put him in his place.

Definitions in construction

*Tender submission* - A game of poker in which the losing hand wins
*Tender sum* - A wild guess carried out to two decimal places
*Successful Tenderer* - A contractor wondering what they left out.
*Architect* - A person who knows very little about a great deal and keeps knowing less and le...