UPJOKE
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Malfunctioning Jokes

The floor number display in the elevator was malfunctioning.

It was wrong on so many levels.

My robot was malfunctioning.

He had developed a dangerously shocking personality, so I grounded her for a week.

I tried posting a joke about a malfunctioning bomb earlier

But it never blew up

In the end, I had to deactivate my malfunctioning fitness avatar.

It just wasn’t working out for me.

An electrician went to the buzzfeed headquarters,

He was asked to come because a power box was malfunctioning, He went to the reception and told them that he was there to fix the problem ,he was told to wait a minute . So he sat down at the reception. He saw that most of the people working there were in their twenties. He then wondered how advanced...

I recently bought a new car in Texas - it’s malfunctioning pls help

Whenever I start the car it says “Haudi” .

My mom runs her own garage

She's an amazing mother but she makes the lamest jokes, which are a source of constant annoyance for me. After an exceptionally bad day (I woke up late, spilled coffee on my white shirt, my SUV was malfunctioning so I reached office late, the printer was jammed so I had to take printouts of the repo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man went on the internet at work and read that if you masturbate before sex then you'll last longer.

So he thinks 'Great, me and the missus were planning a good time tonight"
But he runs into a problem he can't do it at work, because he'll get fired, he can't do it at home because his wife would be there. So after much thinking he comes up with a solution, on his way home he'll pull over, go un...

The government has developed machines that will pick litter up from the beach.

I saw one the other day, but unfortunately it was malfunctioning and was grabbing birds off the shoreline instead.

I thought "Well, that took a tern."

I don’t understand how people are complaining about visual bugs in Cyberpunk 2077

It’s just your character’s cyberoptics malfunctioning.

Why did the marathon runner sprint at the start of the race?

His pacemaker was malfunctioning

Horrible day

"Houston we have a problem."
*What?*
"Our equipment is malfunctioning and our backup life support has failed, it's just been a horrible day."
*Roger that. Have you tried restarting the...*
"OMG Houston, stop trying to fix the problem, I just want you to listen and be supportive!"

Cop pulls over a car at a DUI check point...

...notices a strong odor of alcohol and makes the driver blow into a breathalyzer, gets double the limit. The driver says this is a mistake and that his device must be broken and tells him to check his wife. The wife blows double the limit. The driver says his device is definitely broken and he sho...

So this plane is flying over the atlantic.

So this plane is flying over the Atlantic Ocean. The captain comes over the loudspeaker and says, "One of our engines is malfunctioning but we should still make it to our destination just a little late.".

30 minutes and everyone hears a loud BOOM. The passengers get nervous and start looking ...

Heaven is getting full

This is my favorite joke. Its a little long but I think it's worth it.

One day God realized heaven was getting pretty full so he went St. Peter at the gates and said, "Hey, so it's getting kind of full in here so you're gonna need to start filtering who gets in or not by only letting in those...

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