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Lizards Jokes

I've never trusted lizards...

right from the gecko.

Why did the lizards breakup?

Because he had ereptile dysfunction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lizards

Lizard Birth

If you've raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!


I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.

Here's what happened:

Just after dinn...

Did you hear about the man who slaughtered lizards?

He was a cold-blooded killer.

Where do lizards get their new tails?

At the re-tail store

My cat loves hunting lizards but he never kills them.

He's just all about the details.

[OC] What do you call a lizard supervising computer screens of other lizards who are attempting an online exam

Monitor monitor monitor monitor monitor monitor

What do you call a rap battle event between lizards?

A reptile diss function.

What is the scientific term for impotence in lizards?

Reptile dysfunction.

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

I know this great joke about flying lizards...

But it tends to drag on!

It didn’t take long for my son to learn about lizards.

He understood from the ge-cko

What do you call a wizard that can only control lizards?

Salamancer.

Ha.

What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints?

You want flies with that?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there is a Lizard in the jungle

He's walking around doing a little exploring. He then notices there is a small hut in a tree that has some smoke coming out of it. So, the lizard yells up to the hut and says 'Hey! is everything okay up there?"

A monkey pokes his head out of the hut and looks down and says "Yeah man, just up...

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