UPJOKE
lizardhawaiicaliforniarain forestfloridasri lankamadagascarfamilybrookesiabrookesiinaechamaeleoninaecladecamouflagechamaeleoncolour

Chameleon Jokes

What is a chameleon's worst enemy?

A tongue twister

Why are chameleons good in smoothies

Because they blend in really well

Green chameleon for sale...

No, a red one.

No, blue.

No wait, a pink one.

Cool.

Never mind, I'm keeping it!

At a party chameleon says

"Hey, guys, look what I can do", and changes his color to match the walls of the room. Everyone goes "Wow!" Then octopus comes up to him and says "Hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer."

I wonder how many chameleons....

snuck onto the Ark?

What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?

A reptile dysfunction.

A Man walks into a pet shop and asks the owner "Do you have any chameleons?"

(Looks around) No idea mate.

I think I have a chameleon infestation

But there is no real way to tell

A monkey and a chameleon are smoking a joint in a tree

The chameleon says to the monkey “man I’m thirsty” to which the monkey replies “go down to the river and get a drink of water”.

So the chameleon crawls down the tree and wobbles over to the river bank. He leans down to take a sip and falls in.

As soon as he does, an alligator scoops ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

saw a chameleon today

So it's safe to say it was a pretty shit chameleon

Have you heard of this new pop-up restaurant called the Karma Chameleon?

It comes and goes.

A mother Chameleon was so overcome with joy when her eggs hatched that her camouflage dropped.

Looking down excitedly, she exclaimed, "I've become apparent!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[At the chameleon store]

Me: Do you have any chameleons?


Clerk: I have no fucking idea

What do you call a Chameleon that cant change colors?

A reptile dysfunction... [Bluechew review](https://www.thefate.org/bluechew-review/)

I'm a chameleon. Somehow wedged myself between a brick and a tree trunk.

Brown to the left of me. Ochre to the right. Here I am stuck in a middle-ish hue.

I went to a pet store today and put a large "CHAMELEON" sign in front of an empty cage.

Stand back and watch the fun.

Fun Fact: A male chameleons tongue is 1-1.5 times their bodies length and can fire in & out really fast.

Another fun fact: female chameleons are very happy.

What would a run on sentence ending in chameleon look like if you took away all the preceding words?

Comma comma comma comma comma chameleon.

What did the chameleon say when he walked across a tie-dye shirt?

Whoa, that last bug must have been laced with something!

Lost airport chameleon finally found

after hiding in plane site

What do you call a lizard that can punctuate five times in a row?

A comma comma comma comma comma chameleon!

Three chameleons walk into a bar

The first one looks the others in the eyes and says “I have a confession to make...”

The second one, holding back tears, responds “you’re seeing someone else?”

A chameleon walks into a bar.

The bartender looks at him and says,

“If your wife calls...I didn’t see you.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I put a chameleon on a red dildo!

He blushed.

What happens if a European chameleon turns blue?

It's arrested for violating EU regulations

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a chameleon bum and a cellphone have in common?

They can change the ringtone.

I tried making a chameleon smoothie, it didn't turn out very good, surprisingly it...

doesn't blend well.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My pet chameleon can't change colours. I'm very worried about him. So I fed him a Viagra.

Because he has a reptile disfunction.

Took my chameleon to the vet cause he stopped changing colors.

Doctor says he has a reptile disfunction.

What do you call a reptilian redditor?

A karma chameleon

Why do you never drive on a highway next to a chameleon?

He might turn into you.

My chameleon couldn’t change colors, so I took him to the vet…

Poor guy was diagnosed with ereptile dysfunction.

A chameleon came into a new environment.

He thought to himself, 'Colour me intrigued'.

,,,,,

Chameleon

What's on the menu?

A guy walks into a bar, takes a seat and looks over the menu. "What'll it be?" the bartender asks. "I'll have the Chameleon," the guy replies. "Um, that's not on the menu," the bartender says. "How can you be sure?" the guy asks.

Waiter: "What'll you have?"

Me: "I'll have the chameleon."

Waiter: "That's not on the menu."

Me: "How can you be sure?"

I can’t change, I’m like a chameleon...

Always a lizard!

Reports are coming in that Boy George has been attacked by a reptile on the set of I'm a Celebrity.

They should have got a calmer Chameleon, but apparently, they come and go.

I saw a lizard standing on a post on the corner of the street.

It was strange, because it seemed like everyone who walked by it chuckled at least a little bit.

I never bothered to stop and ask, but I’m pretty sure he was a stand-up chameleon.

Boy George has a pet lizard that goes out of its way to slap people with it’s tail when they tap on the glass of it’s terrarium

He owns a karma chameleon

I was walking in the jungle…

I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes

I turn to the local tribesman and said “That lizard is really funny.”

The tribesman replied “That’s not a lizard…

He’s a stand up chameleon…”

What kind of lizard would you find on this site?

A karma chameleon.

What do you call lizard picture posted on Reddit?

A karma chameleon

Wrote a joke about a lizard to get some internet points.

A Karma Chameleon.

I never put my unpopular opinions on Reddit.

I guess you could say I'm a Karma Chameleon.

Apparently Boy George has...

... a pet lizard that bites people up to 5 times a day.

He needs a calmer chameleon

Lately my comment karma has been so good, Reddit sent me an award featuring a colorful lizard.

It's a comment karma chameleon.

So all the animals gathered and having a party,

Everybody is drinking and talking and having a good time,
suddenly a chameleon get to the middle of the room, say "check this out" and start changing color of his skin for a minute straight.
Once he done he say "Lets see any of you do the same".
Suddenly octopus appear from the crowd and sa...

What did the colour-changing lizard say to his significant other?

You're one in chameleon

A man walked into a pet store

A man walked into a pet store and asked a worker
“do you have any chameleons here?”
The worker responded:
“I don’t know”

What do you call someone pretending to nice to people just to get upvotes?

karma chameleon

I walked into a pet shop and said, "Excuse me, do you have any blenders?"

The man said "yes" and handed me a chameleon.

Boy George would be a wonderful reddit user.

He would get a lot of karma karma karma karma karma chameleon.

[OC] What have repost bots and Boy George got in common?

They're karma chameleons.

What is Boy George's favourite curry?

Korma Chameleon

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.