I came home with a salamander on my shoulder and my son, all excited, shouted, "What's his name!?” Smiling, I replied, “Tiny!" My kid laughed and asked, “What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?” I explained...

“Because...he’s my newt!"

What does a Salamander say when you catch it in a lie?

I amphibian.

What do you call a grateful salamander?

Thanxolotl

What do you call an ungrateful salamander?

*Thanx*o*lot*l

What do you call a slightly grateful salamander?

Thanxolitl

What do you call a Jewish salamander?

A shalomander

What's the difference between Daniel Day Lewis and a Mexican Salamander?

One acts a little, one acts a lottle

Man walks into a bar with a salamander.

The bartender says, "Nice lizard. What's its name?"

"I call him Tiny because he's my newt."

My friend showed me his pet salamander the other day

I asked, "What's his name?" "Tiny," replied my friend. It looked like a pretty normal sized salamander to me. I asked why he chose the name tiny. My friend said, "Because he's my newt."

How did the salamander learn so much?

He would always axolotl questions

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend is weird.

She keeps saying that my dick resembles a salamander.

She calls it "my newt."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little salamander

So this happy little salamander is taking a stroll through the woods one day, and all of a sudden gets a whiff of some weed. Smells like pretty good stuff too, so he decides to investigate...he follows his nose for a little and then looks up, there is a monkey up in a tree. This monkey is smoking a ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.