What did the quiet Mole Salamander say to the talkative Mole Salamander?

"You sure do Axolotl questions"

What do you call a Jewish salamander?

A shalomander

What does a Salamander say when you catch it in a lie?

I amphibian.

I came home with a salamander on my shoulder and my son, all excited, shouted, "What's his name!?” Smiling, I replied, “Tiny!" My kid laughed and asked, “What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?” I explained...

“Because...he’s my newt!"

What do you call a grateful salamander?


What do you call an ungrateful salamander?


What do you call a slightly grateful salamander?


What's the difference between Daniel Day Lewis and a Mexican Salamander?

One acts a little, one acts a lottle

How did the salamander learn so much?

He would always axolotl questions

Man walks into a bar with a salamander.

The bartender says, "Nice lizard. What's its name?"

"I call him Tiny because he's my newt."

My friend showed me his pet salamander the other day

I asked, "What's his name?" "Tiny," replied my friend. It looked like a pretty normal sized salamander to me. I asked why he chose the name tiny. My friend said, "Because he's my newt."

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Little salamander

So this happy little salamander is taking a stroll through the woods one day, and all of a sudden gets a whiff of some weed. Smells like pretty good stuff too, so he decides to investigate...he follows his nose for a little and then looks up, there is a monkey up in a tree. This monkey is smoking a ...

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My girlfriend is weird.

She keeps saying that my dick resembles a salamander.

She calls it "my newt."

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