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Lids Jokes

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Did you guys hear about the kid born with no eye lids?

They made him some out of his foreskin. he came out a little cock eyed but other than that he’s fine

Will caskets with clear lids ever catch on?

Remains to be seen.

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A kid was born with no eye lids

And the parents ask the doctor what could he do to fix him. The doctor examined the child and saw that he was a boy. The doctor smiled and told the parents they are in luck! Why is that the mom asks? Because I can take some of your babies foreskin and fashion eye lids. The dad asked if there would b...

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One of my employees today complained that the sundae lids won’t fit.

I told her “Well duh, that’s because it’s Monday!”

They are so done with my bullshit today. Lol.

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A baby born with no eye lids

The mother is in shock and asked if the baby would ever be able to see and the doc replied "oh yes we would just get the skin after the circumcision and use for eye lids"
The mother still in shock asks "but will he be fine?"
The doctor says " yeah a little cock eyed but fine"

There is 2 eye lids that are both waiters

and their manager is named brain. Brain said “You two are closing tonight.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new plastic surgery for missing eye lids has been invented.

It used circumcised men’s forskin to rebuilt the eye lids.
Unfortunately early results are disappointing, everyone has ended up cock eyed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A baby was born with no eyes lids...

So the doctors decided to circumcise him and use the skin to craft new eyes lids.

They botched it though and he came out looking a bit cock-eyed.

If you don’t properly seal the lids on your spice rack...

You’re going to have a bad Thyme.

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My cousin was born without eye lids

My cousin was born without eye lids so when they circimsised him they used his foreskin to graft eyelids for him. The surgery went fine but he's a little cockeyed now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a boy born without eye lids last week!

Doctors were able to make him eye lids out of the foreskin from his circumcision.

They think he will be alright, but he is going to be a little cock-eyed.

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A plastic surgeon at Johns Hopkins just performed surgery on a child born without eyelids, circumcising him and replaced the missing lids with the harvested tissue.

The boy's new eyelids work almost perfectly and, since they were made from his own tissue, rejection won't be a problem.
When speaking to reporters, though, the surgeon admitted that the boy does look a little cockeyed.

I was seasoning my steak when one of my spice container lids popped open and spilled all over.

It was quite the waste of thyme

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TIL Doctors have successfully grafted eye lids on a patient using foreskin.

The surgery went well, but now she's a little cock eyed.

I had a vasectomy done 2 years ago..

Mainly because I didn’t want any lids whatsoever, but when I got home from the hospital after the operation, they were still there…

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Did anyone else hear about the baby who was born recently, without eyelids? The doctors actually used his foreskin to make a pair of lids for him.

It was an experimental procedure, and it worked great!.... except now he's all cock-eyed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor: So your child was born without eyelids.

Mother: Well isn't there anything you can do?

Doctor: Yes, when we circumcise him we can take that excess skin and make him eye lids.

Mother: Will he be okay?

Doctor: Yeah, he will be fine, just be a little cock-eyed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a man had his eye lids burned off in a fire and the doctors used a new procedure to replace them with his foreskin

He came out just fine besides being a little cockeyed.

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A boy was born with a rare condition called ablepharia..

It’s were the child is born without eyes lids. The doctor tells the parents that there is a new surgical treatment were they take the foreskin of the circumcision to create new eye lids. The parents asks how successful the surgery has been.

The doctor says “The surgery itself is pretty simp...

How to wash a cat

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. At t...

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Our local hospital made medical history.

A boy was born with no eyelids.When they circumsised him they were able to take the foreskin and graft it above his eyes for,wholla,eye lids.The operation was successfull, although ,he might come out a little cockeyed.

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A boy born without eyelids had a miracle operation...

A boy born without eyelids had a miracle operation in which the doctors circumcised him and used his foreskin to form new lids.

The operation was highly successful, and the boy should be able to see normally. The doctor noted, however, that he will remain cockeyed.

I recently attended a funeral

And the procession was going up a steep hill on Main Street. Well all of a sudden the door of the hearst flew open and the coffin fell out. Since the road was so steep it flew back down Main street and into a pharmacy where it crashed into the counter. The lids popped open and the deceased says to t...

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