An ice cube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

“Bunsen... My flame...I melt whenever I see you," confessed the ice cube.

*“Chill, it’s just a phase you’re going through.”*

A woman purchased a new incense burner. However, she got very confused since it wasn't working.

It made no damn scents.

Why do hot air ballons use burners and not steam?

Because Fireflies and Waterfalls

Back when I was married, I found some match sticks left by the stove, where apparently the gas burner hasn't been igniting...

...so I wrote my wife's name on one of the matches there. Later, when she saw the writing and picked it up, she looked at me and asked what it meant.

I looked her straight in the eye, and said: "It means.. .that you've finally met your match."

What's the difference between a burner and a hippie? (Burning Man)

A ticket

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once saw a priest get hit in the face by a perfume burner during mass.

The priest was incensed.

I read a novel about a cult that sacrifices books

It was a real page-burner

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jesus and Moses are golfing in a threesome.

Moses tees off first and uncorks a high sailing slice. The ball plops into the middle of a lake. Unperturbed, Moses walks to the edge of the lake, raises his club, and the waters part. Moses chips onto the green.

Jesus tees off next. He blades a worm-burner that heads for the lake, skipping ...

Math hole told to me 20 years ago by a professor

What's the difference between a physicist and mathematician?

There's a pot of water on the table and both the physicist and mathematician are asked to boil it. The physicist picks it up, puts it on the range, and lights the burner. The mathematicians picked it up, puts it on the range, and l...

Maths....

A room contains a stove; one burner is red-hot already. A kettle full of cold water is on the floor. The engineer and the mathematician were both asked “How would you make the water boil?” and both said “Put the kettle on the red-hot burner.”

Now there’s a table in the room also, and the kett...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two good friends, a doctor and a priest, are out golfing one fine day.

They step up to tee off at the first hole. The priest drives a beautiful shot down the fairway. The doctor steps up next and fires off a worm-burner straight into the rough.

The doctor grumbles loudly, "Fuck, I missed."

The priest reproves him, "Please, Ted, don't swear in fron...

Math Joke

23. There were two men trying to decide what to do for a living.  They went to
see a counselor, and he decided that they had good problem solving skills.
 He tried a test to narrow the area of specialty.  He put each man in a room
with a stove, a table, and a pot of water on the table.  He ...

Samsung should focus their marketing toward criminals

They could completely monopolize the burner phone industry.

I was thinking of inventing some chilli flavoured sun cream.

But for now I've put it on the back burner.

I got my friend a house warming present

I got him a bag of logs for his wood burner

I got really bad sunburn after falling asleep on my stomach at the beach...

I wanted emergency medical attention but 911 never returned my call. I guess they put it on the back burner.

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