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Legacy Jokes

Reviews for Hogwarts Legacy are coming in.

Most reviewers are giving it a 9 3/4 depending on the platform.

Hogwarts Legacy is truly an RPG…

That is as a Revelio Playing Game.

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?

He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will be a pizza history.

The lost family legacy of the swordsmiths

My grandfather revealed the story behind our family name to me a few weeks before he passed - our ancestors used to be Swordsmiths to the ancient dynasty. It is from here we derive our surname. Popularly though, we were known as the swords. Our swords were known across the land for their sharpness a...

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A Scotsman's Legacy

A young man is backpacking through Scotland and decides to stop in a little pub out in the middle of nowhere. There are only two other people in the bar, the bartender and an old man sitting at the counter nursing a beer. He take a seat at a stool a couple down from the old man and orders a pint. ...

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An 18 year old girl tells her mom that she has missed her last 2 periods

Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy test. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Crying, cursing and Shouting the mother says, "Who was the bastard that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later...

The Smiths were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower and their descendants included senators and Wall Street wizards.

They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren.
They hired a fine author.
Only one problem arose, how to handle great-uncle George, the criminal, who was executed in the electric chair.
The author said he could handle the story tactfully.
The book...

The impeachment of Trump will be a stain on his legacy

Whereas the impeachment of Clinton was the legacy of his stain.

In Hogwarts Legacy what do you call your character sorted into Ravenclaw while omitting the use of fast travel systems?

Stairy Potter

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Sending olive my prayers to the family. His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it. You never sausage a tragic thing.

My father who comes from a long line of clowns just retired and wants me to continue the family legacy.

I've got some big shoes to fill

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The japanese company Subaru is releasing an electric remodel of the Subaru Legacy

it's called Legacy 2 electric subaru

Soon, usernames will be passed in families as a legacy

"Son, there's something i want you to have.., it's my username"
"Oh jees, thanks dad ! "
"You're welcome son, euh i mean SirSpankALot"

Teacher offers middle school students a monday absence. If....

...Anyone can use the term 'definitely' properly in a phrase.

So Sarah raises her hand, and says "The sky is definitely blue."

Teacher tells her: "That's a very good response! But, sometimes the sky turns rather pink, or it gets dark out, and the sky gets black. Anyone else?"

A...

White Nationalist should honor the true legacy Robert E. Lee

And surrender.

My dad died last year. among the things he left us in his Legacy :

were some jump leads,

a tartan blanket

and the original Subaru owners manual.

I once asked my grandfather how he'd lived so long.

He smiled and said; "I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my cereal every morning."

I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in t...

An inventor is about to pass, leaving all he has to his only family. His two children.

He was a very altruistic person in life, only using his inventions to help people and not make any profit. His daughter admired this trait and followed this path becoming a tinkerer herself. His son, however, was an opportunist. He would always attempt to make a profit off any of his father's invent...

HOW i got rich

One rich man is asked how he got rich. He answers: I bought one unwashed apple in the market for a dollar, washed it and sold it for 2, then bought 2 unwashed apples, washed it and sold it for 4. -And so gradually you got rich? - No, after 2 years, my grandmother died and left me a legacy of 4 billi...

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Once there was a Scottish man named MacGregor. One day, MacGregor was talking to a young boy about legacies. This is what MacGregor said:

Now young man, make sure you leave a good legacy and don't make mistakes like I did.

You see that moat over there? I built that moat with my own two hands, but do they call me MacGregor the moat builder? No, they don't.

You see that bridge over the moat? I built that bridge with my ow...

Robin Hood's Successor

It had been many years since Robin Hood began his quest of "stealing from the rich and giving to the poor". By now he was growing old and tired, and wanted to find someone who could carry on his legacy and lead a new band of Merry Men.

He searched through many villages for someone he could de...

What did they say about the pegleg pirate after he died?

He left a great legacy.

I know who dies first in the last Game of Thrones...

The legacy of a once-great show

What was the first thought of the person who created jam/jelly?

I need to preserve my legacy

Ninja goes to the doctor ...

Doctor says "I have good news and bad news."

Ninja says "Hmm. Ok, give me the bad news first."

Doctor says "We've run the tests and you're impotent."

Ninja gasps and says "Dammit! How will I pass on my legacy of stealth and subterfuge?!? How can there possibly be good news in th...

An old shepherd was watching his sheep and resting himself on a very tall club.

A youngster notices him, while passing by, greets him and asks:
"Sir, why are you standing like that?"
He replies: "Like what?"
"Like that: stretching your legs. Why don't you cut off some of that club."


The shepherd takes his hands off the club and points at it:
"Ho...

After years of working his way up through the Dove Soap Company, Jedidiah Kermin was finally promoted to CEO.

Jeb was ecstatic and ready to lead the company into a new golden age of soap making. He was determined to shake up the industry and leave a true legacy for himself. So he went to product development and told them that what Dove needed was to make a soap that could clean people faster than any other ...

The Dad joke pay-off [not actually a joke, sorry]

Dad, a little after lunchtime: "Are you hungry?"

Son: "No."

D. "Really? You've hardly had anything to eat all day."

S. "Okay, really I am, but I don't want to say it because then you'll do that joke again."

Son hates joke so much he would rather go hungry than risk hearin...

What did the white high school dropout get for his birthday?

A legacy scholarship for his second choice school

A brilliant inventor creates a brand new type of leather.

This leather is such an amazing product, the inventor is convinced he's made his legacy. He starts a company that manufactures clothes made out of this new leather material, and it instantly becomes a massive success. Everybody went crazy for their products, and the company's leather jeans in parti...

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Totally didn't steal this from r/iamverysmart

Once, the Oracle of Delphi had declared Socrates to be the wisest man in the world.

In response, Socrates said "Surely I'm not, for there's so much about this world that I don't know. I know not the meaning of life nor truth nor purpose, and so much more. Please, Oracle, let me find the true ...

The Mexican Magician

There once was a Mexican magician, his name was Juan. He was known throughout the country as Juan the Magician. Everyone was always amazed by his dazzling performances, and his shows always sold out. He was nearing the end of his career, and would retire the following summer after one last performan...

Stephen King's Sons

When Stephen King’s twin sons were born, he had a hard time coming up with names for them. Finally, after several hours of thinking, he managed to pull a couple out of the air.

“I’ll name the first son Joseph, after my great-grandfather.”“Fine, and what about the other one?” His wife asked....

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[NSFW] What are you known for?

Three young kids walk up to an older man sitting on a park bench.

"Can you give us any advice, sir?"

He begins...

"Be careful what you do in life because that's what you'll end up being known for. Look at me, for example. I donated the land for this beautiful park we're in right...

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An American revolutionary war veteran went to London for a grand ball.

Upon his arrival, the man in charge welcomed him graciously. They laughed and danced with the men and women until midnight, where he suddenly felt the urge to use the bathroom.

After receiving directions by the man, he walked inside the large bathroom to find that the only decoration was a ...

I heard we’re telling bad jokes, so here’s mine.

Long ago there lived a Cheerio in a small village beneath a giant mountain, which had a small town of its own on top.

This famous town was known for one thing, in this town, if you wait in line, you can receive anything that you want, but to reach it, you must climb the difficult mountain al...

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My go-to joke

Seamus is out walking with his grandson Angus, and he says "Angus, your da told me to give you a little talk about legacy. Ya got to be careful with what you do in life, because it'll stick with ya"

"You see that bridge over there? I cut every stone down in the quarry, lugged them up to to th...

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The King of the Jungle [long] [nsfw]

The lion, the king of the jungle, once summoned all the animals to celebrate his new born child. Sure enough all the animals showed up and gazed with awe upon the famous lion's rock.

The lion roared fiercly and all animals awaited silently the big announcement of their king. After a brief mom...

In Celebration of my Cake Day, here's a terrible joke: the Olympic Swimmer and his Son

Michael was a famous Olympic Swimmer. Recently retired, it was his dream to continue his legacy by teaching his son the art of swimming. They had practiced for years, and when Michael's son was ready, he was entered into his first ever tournament.

The first round was easy. After all, t...

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Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and Kim jong un were driving down the road...

Donald was driving , Barack was in the passenger seat ,and Kim Jong Un was riding in the back seat.

Trump was going 90 miles an hour in a 60 MPH zone.

Trump notices in the rear view mirror a cop was pulling them over.

“I’m gonna need to see your license and registration” said ...

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Three friends find a lamp and release a Genie...

The Genie is extremely grateful to the three friends for releasing him from his dormant stage and offers three wishes to each man.

The first one says "I want to have enough money that I don't have to work another day in my life." As soon as he finished, his phone beeped saying he had $10 Mil ...

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