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The ninja turtles and master splinter were found dead in their lair...

The police ruled the deaths as sewer-cides.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Constipated lair.

Full of shit

A supervillain and his henchman are sitting in the control room in the supervillain's volcanic lair.

Suddenly alarms start going off all over the place.

Supervillain: "What the heck is going on? Are the sharks with lasers loose again? Is it the IRS? Is there a leak in the reactor?"

The Henchman looks behind him to see a chair melting into the ground. "No, sir, the flaw is lava."

Batma and Robi, having found the evil villain's lair, are running through it, trying to find him, before he can execute his evil plan.

They go through the entire thing, but the villain is nowhere to be found! Panicking, Batma yells,

"Where is the joke?!"

How did the doggy scientist get into his secret lair?

Through a Lab-bra-door.

If I'm ever traveling near Loch Ness or Sasquatch's lair, I will carry a camera to be safe.

It is a documented fact that these dangerous monsters have never approached anyone who had a camera.

Most vegetables live above ground. But not onions.

Onions have lairs.

An old Russian joke about recruitment

A wolf is going around in the forest talking to animals

“Bear, you are to come at 2pm to my lair to be eaten”
“Yes, wolf”

“Fox, you are to come at 2pm to my lair to be eaten”
“Yes, wolf”

“Hare, you are to come at 2pm to my lair to be eaten”
“I don’t want to”
“Very we...

There once was a beautiful, snowy kingdom.

It was ruled by a fair king who joyfully ruled his land. Unfortunately, the kingdom was also home to a wicked thief who loved nothing more than causing mayhem for all the inhabitants of the land.

However, the thief was not your ordinary thief. He only stole bells. Any kind of bell, whether a...

Who’s Immature?

My wife accused me of being immature. I set down my action figures, pointed at the door and said ‘get out of my secret lair’

What’s the difference between Batman and an onion?

Batman only has one lair.

The tale of the clever dog

Once upon a time, a plane crashed inside a tropical islands little jungle. A dog, being the last passenger alive, decides to abandon the plane in hopes of finding a way out of the jungle.

While walking in the jungle, the dog notices a tiger behind it. The riger not knowing that the dog is awa...

While we are sharing terrible time wasting pun jokes... this is the worst one I have ever heard

A friend of mine told me this one some years ago. It is the worst joke I have ever heard in my life.

A mad scientist, up on his secret sea-side mountaintop lair, is working on a life extension serum. He has nearly perfected it, and is about to begin testing it on dolphins.

Unfortun...

Three spinsters went on safari...

and they came upon a huge gorilla. The gorilla grabs one of the women and runs off into the jungle. The other two patiently track the gorilla for three days, until they come to his lair. Ethel, the victim, is horribly bruised and scratched, without a stitch of clothing. Wilma and Blanche quickly...

There once was a monkey who lived in a jungle.

Now this monkey was very intelligent and had started to get fed up of eating with her hands. After a long time planning and sketching on leaves, she finally created some tools to help her eat!
Her first, she called a sharp tool which she used for cutting her food.
Her second was a round tool w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The princess wouldn't let prince make love to her

Ages ago there was a kingdom where a royal wedding took place.

Prince and a princess had a feast and then went to their chambers to consume their marriage, but there was a problem - the princess wouldn't let prince make love to her.

The prince waited and tried every day for next couple...

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