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Hideout Jokes

When does it become socially acceptable for adults to build little hideouts out of pillows again?

When they’re in their forties

What's the difference between an Iraqi elementary school, and an Isis hideout?

I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

The MI5, the CIA and the KGB are having a competition

Three small parties of all three Agencies meet on neutral ground, on the edge of a big german forest.

For the goal of the competition, they decided that each of their parties should catch a rabbit, using their espionage skills. The party that manages to catch the rabbit the quickest, wins....

You've all heard the first headline, but not the second...

A pun walks into a bar and kills ten people.
Headline reads “Pun in, ten dead”.
Pun is tracked to a hideout in the woods and perishes in a shoot out with police.
Headline reads “Pun in tent dead”.

Guy discovers Terrorist Hideout..

Reporter: So how did you catch 'em?
Guy: Umm.. I just found this Charizard then...

What’s the difference between a Syrian hospital and an ISIS hideout?

I don’t know! I’m just the drone operator!

When the heat turns down,we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.

We call it our Con Den session.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex at the old age home

Don Carlos is 90 years old and lives in an old age retirement nursing home.
Every night after dinner, he secludes himself at the far-end of the garden.
One night, Juanita, 80 years old, approaches him. They start chatting about life and old age, and after a while, he says to her,

"You k...

The story of Strongman Dria

In Iraq there was a man named Dria who lived in a small village. Dria was special, because he was as strong as 10 men combined. However, as a way to level the playing field, Dria wasn't very smart. He's like a little kid who doesn't realize his own power. One day Dria's grandmother becomes very ill,...

A man went to the wishing well.

He wished for a superpower, any superpower at all.

The next day, he accidentally rammed into the wall, biting on the paint. He then dissolved into a sentient puddle, able to cover the places he moved around in paint.

"Whoa!" he said, changing out of that form. He rushed over to bite a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW: The Monkey and the Lion

There was a problem amongst the denizens of the jungle.

A monkey had recently been fucking all the different animals in the jungle against their will, save for the lions, as they are at the top of the food chain. Literally all the different animals had fallen victim to the monkey; he was ind...

The cowboy and his very smart horse (kinda long)

A cowboy is kidnapped by bandits. After taking him back to their hideout, they tell him that they're going to execute him at noon tomorrow. Now, these bandits seem to be pretty nice guys who just happen to be in a nasty line of work, and they ask the cowboy if he has any last requests before he dies...

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