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Fortress Jokes

Saruman's fortress has only one gate, but Sauron's realm has multiple gates

Sauron has more doors.

Deep in the arctic, a fortress sits. This is Legion Prison, where all Supervillains are jailed.

And the Warden is having a very difficult time. In the beginning, it wasn’t so hard. A handful of villains can’t get up to too much trouble without their tools and weapon.

But as the prison filled up, things began to get more difficult.

MechaSlayer kept trying to fight Robo-Con.
...

What's the difference between an artist's folder and a diseased fortress?

One's a portfolio, the other is Fort Polio.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was building an impenetrable fortress and as I laid the last brick I thought to myself,

"oh shit, how am I supposed to get inside"

An old Team Fortress 2 joke. Probably applicable to a few other team shooters, too.

The Heavy Weapons Guy woke up one morning to a bit of distress. His stomach was tied up in knots, forcing him into the bathroom for much of the day. After a few hours of this painful nonsense, he sought out the Medic for some professional advice.

"Ah," the Medic exclaimed in his exaggerated...

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Can you come up with a better joke with this punchline?

Why did the king lock his beautiful virgin daughter away in a fortress when all the men came around?
Impregnability
(Work in Progress)

Joke from a 1920s Australian Newspaper

**Diplomacy**

Uncle to nephew playing a game of War with a companion: "If you take the fortress within a quarter of an hour, I'll give you a sixpence."

Youngster (a minute later): "Uncle, sixpence please, the fortress is taken."

Uncle: "How did you manage it so quickly?"

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today my girlfriend told me I was being childish...

... I told the bitch to get the fuck out my couch fortress.

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I am the Internet

There's a fortress in the middle of a wasteland. A guy turns up at the gate and the guards say, "Who goes there?"

Guy: I would like to come into your fortress.

Guards: Well, we can only take in people who are useful to us.

Guy: I think you are going to find me useful, for I am t...

In Medieval Europe, there once was a triangular lake.

This triangular lake was quite large; so large, in fact, that three separate kingdoms were built on each side of this lake. These kingdoms were very different one from another.
The first kingdom was the richest - smooth stone walls built like a fortress, lavish houses for all, and a generous king...

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