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Labels Jokes

I switched the labels on all my wife’s spices.

I’m not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.

Who else hates labels?

If you do, consider joining our group. We call ourselves antilabelists.

Thinking of starting a liquor brand and getting free advertising from the other major labels

I'm going to call it "responsibly"

Last week I was bored, so I decided to swap around the labels on my wifes spice rack. So far, she hasn't noticed.

Mark my words though, the thyme is cumin.

Warning labels are stupid.

I bought some deodorant and it said on the can, "Avoid contact with eyes" TOO LATE, I'd already seen it

Did you hear about the guy who swapped the labels on the pumps at the gas station?

It was an April Fuels joke.

I swapped all the labels around on my wife's spice rack.

She hasn't realized it yet, but the thyme is cumin.

I hate labels

I which there was a name for that

I hate put labels on people

That's why I didn't pass the job interview at the "Hello my name is" sticker factory.

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer.

They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to setup a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.'
So Satan and Jesus...

[OC] I went shopping with my wife yesterday....

She looked at lipsticks for over 30 minutes but she didn't buy any

She tried 20 kinds of perfumes but none of them were good enough

She tested 10 different kinds of mascaras but she didn't like any of them

She read the labels of all the blushes just to finally walk out empty han...

My company just installed an elevator that labels the ground floor as "2" and goes up from there.

It's wrong on so many levels.

Only 1% of population uses the labels on clothes to check washing method

The remaining 99% believes that the label is to see where the back side is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cigarette companies are now being forced to show pictures of mouth cancer on their labels.

Considering the fact that Processed meat has also been proven to cause Colorectal cancer. I think in the spirit of fairness Hotdog packaging should include pictures of Anal cancer.

So I saw one of those "Drink for Pink" labels on a bottle of juice...

Sounds like Georgia Tech's hookup strategy.

Why did the MPLS router go to the psychiatrist?

Because it was tired of all the labels people put on it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Land O Lakes

Have you guys seen the new Land O Lakes butter packaging? They removed the Native American girl from their labels to be more politically correct.

Now that’s the most American thing I’ve ever seen; remove the Indian and keep the land.

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people

I'm just
saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.

The problem with America is stupidity.

So why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

Two tradesman set up for road work: one a veteran and the other a literalist rookie.

“You just stand there by the ‘end road work’ work sign and direct folks through the orange cones”, says the veteran.

“But I’m not sure I can do that, that’s a big responsibility to carry for a lot of people”.

“Sure you can, it’s a simple job, they’ll get the message”.

After the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My pharmacist thinks I'm a pedophile.

He keeps putting labels on my pills telling me to keep away from children.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, Putin called up Trump asking for a favor...

"We have a problem. All of Russia's condom manufacturers have gone bankrupt, and soon we will have a shortage," said Putin.

"That sounds pretty bad. How can we help?" Trump asked.

"We need you to send us American condoms."

"Of course, we can cut you a deal."

"Another thin...

Two guys get pulled over while drinking and driving.

The driver tells his friend, "Peel the labels off these beer bottles, and we'll each stick one on our forehead. Now, shove all of the bottles under the front seat. Just let me do all the talking."

The cop walks up and shines his flashlight into the car. "Have you been drinking?" he asks.
...

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