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Benign Jokes

A pirate goes to the doctor and say, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh."

The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign."

Pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten!"

I've heard like seven cancer jokes today...

If I hear tumor it's gonna benign.

A pirate goes to the dermatologist.

A pirate goes to the dermatologist to check the red bumps on his arm.

The dermatologist looks at them, and says "Don't worry, they're benign."

The pirate says, "Arrr! I counted them meself, and there be eleven of 'em!"

What does "benign" mean?

Benign is what you be after you be eight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An anti-Establishment joke from India

A vagrant, finding no place on the pavement, parked himself at the feet of a statue of Mahatma Gandhi. At midnight he was woken up by someone gently tapping him with his stick. It was the Mahatma himself. ‘You Indians have been unfair to me,’ complained the benign spirit. "You put my statues everywh...

What's the difference between a Benign Cancer Cell and Malignant Cancer Cell?

One of them has an existential crisis.

Blackbeard is in the bath and he finds 10 new moles on his back.

Being a health concious pirate, he books an appointment with his dermatologist to get them checked out. The dermatologist takes a look and says "Well, cap'n, i've done a thorough examination and i'm pretty sure they're benign"



Blackbeard replies "Arrrrrr, can ye check again? I'm sure ...

A pirate walks into a doctor's surgery.

"Avast, sawbones," he growls, "I wants ye to look at the moles on me back. I think they might be of the cancerin' kind."

The doctor has a look at the pirate's back.
"It's OK," he says, "they're benign."


"Arrr... look again," says the pirate, "I'm pretty sure there be ten."

What did the doctor say to the woman with seven tumors?

Tumor would benign

How many pathologists does it take to diagnose a malignancy?

10....because one less would benign.

A pirate goes to the doctor..

'Thar be strange moles on me back'
Doctors has a look.
'They're benign'
'Check again matey,I counted 10'

A pirate goes into a doctor's office.

He asks the doctor to inspect his back because he happened to find some lumps there. After careful examination, the doctor tells the pirate, "Don't worry. They're benign," to which the pirate replied, "Aargh, check them again. I reckon there at least be ten."

The Secret

A very depressed and distraught man goes in to see a psychiatrist.

"I've had it with everything. With my job, my wife, my kids, everything. I just can't cope or deal with anything anymore. I don't want to be on pills, or spend a fortune on therapy. I've just had enough." he says.

T...

C3PO, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo are taken prisoner on an alien planet

The Millennium Falcon had to make an emergency stop on an uncharted planet. The trio is greeted by a hostile alien race and placed in a horrendous prison.

After some time they are taken in the night to some kind of tribunal where they are told that all outsiders are regarded as evil demons an...

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