UPJOKE

Kinds Of Jokes

there are ten kinds of people

Those who understand binary jokes, and those who don't.

There are two kinds of people who care a lot about their exact age.

Small children and 39 year old's.

In ancient Rome, there were 4 kinds of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would kill you instantly.

Poison IV would just make you itchy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are four kinds of sex

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YO...

There are two kinds of people in this world

1. Those who can extrapolate meaning from incomplete data

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A family is having dinner at the table one evening, when the son asks the father, "Dad, how many different kinds of boobs are there?" The father is a little taken aback, but he ponders for a moment before answering...

"Well, my son, a woman goes through three phases in life. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they become like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. But after 50, her breasts become like onions."

The son is confused and asks, "Onions?"

The fathe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poop jokes aren't my absolute favorite kinds of jokes.

But they're a solid #2.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A quack posted a sign on his place which said "Can treat all kinds of illneses for $100. If I can't, I'll pay you $100"

A guy tried his luck and went inside.

Guy: hey doc, my sense of taste is messed up

Quack: Okay. Let me get the medicine from the second shelf and you'll drink one tablespoon of it

[*guy drinks medicine*]

Guy: [*spits*] fuck you, this is gasoline!

Quack: y...

There are 2 kinds of people...

Those that squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom

And

Godforsaken Sociopaths

There are three kinds of people on this earth.

Those who are good at math and those who are not

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three surgeons are talking about their favorite kinds of patients.

"My favorite patients are librarians." says the first surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because their organs are all in alphabetical order."

"My favorite patients are mathematicians." says the second surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because all their organs are numbered."

"My fa...

Two kinds of nerds:

May the force be ____________

a. equal to mass times acceleration.

b. with you.

That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce...

and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

There are three kinds of lies:

lies, damned lies, and statistics.

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led h...

There are two kinds of people: those who know the meaning of the word 'inflammable',

and I would like to offer my condolences to the grieving families of the second group.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what do you call someone who likes all kinds of insects

beesexual

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that there are 4 different kinds of orgasms?

There are the positive ones, "yes, yes, yes oh yes! "
There are the negative ones, "no, no, no oh no!"
There are the religious ones, "God, God, God, oh my God!"
And there are the fake ones, (insert name of person you're telling it to) moan (name again)

There are II kinds of people

Those who understand Roman numerals and those who don't

There are two kinds of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say

"There are two kinds of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say

"There are two kinds of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say

"There are two kinds of people: those who say there is no such th...

There are two kinds of countries

Those who use the metric system, and those who have their flag on the moon.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world

Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

There are two kinds of jokers

The ones that tell complete jokes, and the ones that

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.