What's the difference between Noah's Ark and Joan of Arc?
One was made of wood, the other was Maid of Orleans.
What did God say when Joan of Arc arrived in heaven?
"Well done."
Why didn't Joan of Arc ever poke fun at her friends?
Because she knew they'd roast her
What do Alicia Keys, Katniss Everdeen, and Joan of Arc all have in common?
They're all girls on fire.
Did you hear about a guy who collected memorabilia of Rosa Parks, Florence Nightingale, Joan of Arc, and Wonder Woman?
Apparently, he was a heroine addict.
Three nuns died in a fiery bus crash....
St. Peter met them at the Pearly Gates and welcomed them to heaven. "Welcome, my dear sisters. We are glad to have you here, but unfortunately, we are having some issues with restructuring at the moment, so all souls that come here for the next week will be allowed to live a week in the life of a pe...
Three Nuns
One Friday, there were 3 nuns riding on a mountain road. They were coming around a turn when a semi rammed into them head on killing them instantly. They were coming to the gates of heaven and noticed a sign that said "Closed for Remodeling". One nun knocked on the gates and out came St. Peter. H...
Three nuns die and go to heaven
When they reach the pearly gates, St. Peter says to them that heaven is too full at the moment and needs expanding. While they wait to get in, for all their good work St. Peter let’s them spend one day on earth as a person of their own choice.
The first nun picks mother Theresa because of th...
This year in Heaven the Christmas celebration was also a costume party. Everyone dressed up.
Many people came as movie characters, from Gandalf the Grey (and White) to Jason Bourne to Black Widow to Harry Potter. Alan Rickman went as Hans Gruber, which made St. Peter exclaim "See, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!" St. Peter was dressed as the "Fragile" lamp from A Christmas Story. Moses showe...
A fitness freak is out for a run one day. She's having a great run, tunes playing through her ear buds, sun shining.
As she sprints blissfully across a road, a massive truck ploughs into her.
The next thing she's aware of is she's standing in a shiny, beautiful place and inately realises, this must be Heaven.
Sure enough, an angel approaches her and tells her, yes she's now in Heaven and gives her a ...
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