UPJOKE
stammererprosodyemotionshamefacedhypochondriaccurmudgeonintrovertnarcissistschnookdaydreamerlispspeechvowelsymptomselocution

A stutterer called an emergency.

Dialog ensues:

Hi emergency here what's your emergency.
Hi-i-i I found a d-d-dead horse at the r-r-r-road. I do-don't want there t-t-to be ac-accidedents.
Can s-s-someone tak-ke it away?
Ok sir what is your location.
At spr-spr-spr-spri-spring...Springside Circle?N-n-No no...

A stutterer in a boat.

A stutterer along with his friends went for fishing on boat.

While everything was going peacefully, suddendly the stutterer starting screamin sh-sh-sh-sh-sh...The others didn't understand what he wanted to say, but nonetheless he screamed sh-sh-sh-sh louder.But then they heard something. It w...

the stutterer

So a guy with a stutter wants to ask his girlfriend to marry him. However, every time he tries, he gets nervous and stutters so badly he can barely get a word out. So he goes to a friend at work and asks for advice.

The friend says, "Here's what you do. Instead of coming right out and asking ...

The Stutterer

Jack was in the supermarket when he ran into his old friend, Charlie, whom he hadn't seen in several years. Jack remembered Charlie as having an awful stuttering problem, which had made his life miserable; he couldn't hold down a job and was terribly shy. But Jack and Charlie had always gotten alo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A stutterer's wife was getting annoyed of his stutter...

So she asks him to go see a doctor. When the men got to the hospital and explained everything the doctor said:

"Pull down your pants."

"W-why?"

"Just do it."

"O-ok."

"There's the problem. You have a big penis that is pulling down your diaphragm. You will have to do...

[Long] A stutterer gets on a bus...

...and asks the driver: O-onne t-t-t-ticket p-please. To which the driver responds: h-here y-y-y-you g-go. A-a-are y-you mess-mess-messing with me? -asks the stutterer. N-no, I-I-I'm a st-st-s-stutt-stuutt-stutterer myself. -answers the driver. Oh, ok-ok-okay, says the stutterer and sits near the fr...

A stutterer applies for a job selling Bibles.

The boss is wary, but they're short on salesmen and he is willing to give it a shot.

On his first day, the new salesman comes in during lunch. "C-c-can I g-get some n-n-new B-Bibles, I'm out of st-t-stock," he says.

The boss is flabbergasted. "How on Earth did you manage that?" he as...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Another stutterer

A guy with a terrible stutter goes to the doctor. Doctor examines him, and says, "I'm afraid the problem is your large penis. It requires such an enormous blood supply, not enough blood is reaching the speech center in your brain."

"W-w-well, what c-c-can I d-d-do?" asks the guy.

"We c...

What is the hardest word for a stutterer to say?

I'm gonna guess... "Nicaragua."

The stutterers

A girl is at a bar, and there are three guys next to her jabbering and carrying on and really getting on her nerves. The worst part was, they all had stutters.

So she says to them, "Listen, I came here for a little peace of mind, and I just can't stand listening to you guys any more. Here's a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to get his passport renewed...

He goes to the counter and is jotting down his personal information.

"Alright sir, can I have your full name please?"

"Pepepeter Bbbbbbbbryant"

"Excuse me, sir, are you a stutterer? "

"No, ma'am, my father was a stutterer, and the guy who made my birth certificate, an as...

So, a stutterer was a wedding.

He stand's up and says, "hip, hip."

And then everyone on the wedding party said with their glasses raised,
"HURRAY"

The stutterer, tried again, but louder, "HIP!! HIP!!"

Everyone raised their glasses again and shouted out of their lungs!
"HUURRAAAAY!!!!!"

The stutte...

Why did the stutterer get shot in the ghetto?

He was asking for directions for the "k-k-k-mart."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Prostitute goes to a Stutterer’s Convention...

A prostitute goes to a Stutterers convention
And sees three guys standing in the hallway and figures she can use a warm up...

She says fellas..
If any of you can tell me where you are from without stuttering I’ll give you a blowjob...

So the first guy says Cinci Sis isisisiisisi ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The stutterer

A man with a terrible stutter went to the doctor. After a thorough examination, the Doctor explained to the man that his huge penis was causing a problem with his diaphragm, which is why he was stuttering.

Well, the man was desperate, as his stutter had kept him from being able to talk to wo...

Three guys are on a motorcycle. The guy in the middle is a stutterer.

All of a sudden the stutterer says: "F-f-f-f-f-"

Driver: Faster?

Stutterer: F-f-f-f-f-f-f

Driver: "You want me to go faster?"

Stutterer: "F-f-f-f-f-f"

Driver: I can't go any faster.

Stutterer: F-f-f-f Frank f-f-f-f-fell off.

What is the difference between an ornithologist and a stutterer?

One is a bird watcher, and the other is a word botcher.

Misunderstood...

3 people (one is stuttering) decided to go on a fishing trip in a yacht.

They were in the sea for over 3 hours and were having a good time, when suddenly a ship was arriving at high speed with intetion of stoping.

The stutterer noticed it was trying to warn the others but was stuck...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In a job interview

"Name?"

"JJoon Sttutuartt"

"Again please"

"JJoon Sttutuartt"

"Sir, are you a stutterer?"

"No, my father stuttered, and the civil servant was an asshole"

I am in a stuttering class

We have very long conversations...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.