"Hello sir would you like to sign this petition in support of the Cheese Act that congress is trying to pass?"

"Yeah sure I'm pro-volone"

Petition to remove titles once and for all

[me, ordering cake through the phone]
“What would you like the cake to say?
.
[covering the phone to talk to my friend] : do we want a talking cake?

There's a petition going around to name the black hole after Chris Cornell from Soundgarden

There gonna call it the cornhole

We need to start a petition to permanently add President Trump to Mount Rushmore.

Not a sculpture of him. Himself.

I started a petition to ban people from collecting autographs.

So far I've got 5,000 signatures.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A judge is hearing Mickey Mouse's divorce petition.

After listening to his argument, the judge shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, Mr. Mouse. Your wife Minnie having an eccentric personality is not valid grounds for divorce, I'm afraid."

"Your honor," Mickey replies. "I didn't say she was eccentric, I said she was fucking Goofy!"

What was Trump's reaction to the petition for him to release his tax returns

Not my precedent

I think we should make a petition to make reddit the most enviromental friendly company of 2016

I mean its already been recycling for YEARS

Petition to change "readers" to "Jokesters"

Readers just isn't appropriate for this sub-reddit, c'mon guys.
For those who have no idea what I am talking about, you can change this: http://i.imgur.com/uoRoH.jpg

It’s time to stop Alabamian stereotypes.

Me, my dad, my uncle, my mom, my aunt, and my grandfather have started a petition to stop these stereotypes.

We may only have 3 signatures, but we can start a change!

I got sent to see the school psychologist

When I asked why he showed me the petition.

Why do you want divorce?

Judge: Why do you want divorce?

Petitioner: My wife asks me to peel off garlic, cut onions, wash utensils.

Judge: What's the problem in this? Just warm up the Garlic, it will be easy to peel it. Before cutting Onions just chill them in the refrigerator and then while cutting them the ...

In a small town in America, a person decided to open up his bar business, which was right opposite to a church

The church & its congregation started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.
Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the bar and it was burnt to the ground. ...

I business man decides to open a bar in small town in Texas...

It was quiet little town where lot of people were god fearing and church going folk.

His bar began construction on a new building on the same street as one of the town churches (one of twelve) to increase their business. The local Baptist church among other god fearing folk of course were sho...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First farmer's market of the year

A farmer was on her way to the first farmer's market of the year. She was lucky to have secured a spot, year after year, at a very popular farmer's market, but rather than feeling excited, she was bummed out in anticipation of having to endure, yet again, the obnoxious antics of two almond growers ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today I received a message from Facebook

Fb : we would appreciate if you signed this petition

Me: what is it about ?

Fb: it’s about your continued faith in Facebook during these troubled times and requesting the govt not to put any sanctions

Me: you assholes stole our private information and sold it to others
...

How to be Cool

1. Fill out a petition, file it with your local civil court, and pay the fees.
2. Publish your name change, if required, then attend your hearing.
3. Change your name on your Social Security card, ID card, and all other documentation.
4. If you are getting married, write your full, new name...

How many internet users does it take to change a light-bulb?

I dunno. Let's just sign a petition so that hopefully somebody will do it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well first thousands sign a petition that the lightbulb needs to be changed, because it is using its ideology to change the room. The room was much better after the previous light bulb and we are going to go back to that. The lightbulb is a cunt. LIGHTBULB IS A CUNT. ITS ABOUT FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND ...

The anti-drug campaign

Two men join a local anti-drug campaign. They walk up to the person running the campaign.

The man looks towards them and says,
"Ah, I'm guessing you two are here for the campaign."

The two men agree and the manager of the campaign said,

"Alright guys, we were just running a...

A Mechanical Engineer goes to Hell...

One day a mechanical engineer woke up dead, and found himself in Hell, where he was greeted by Satan himself. Satan welcomed him to the place and asked him if there were any questions? After quickly looking around, the ME asked about the really beautiful island out in the lava floe, and asked why no...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.