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Indiana Jones Jokes

Why is Indiana Jones sad?

Because his career is in ruins.

Do you know why Indiana Jones never got married?

Bad dates

What's the saddest thing about Indiana Jones with dementia?

He can't find his hat.

What is Indiana Jones' least favorite band?

Rolling Stones.

Does Indiana Jones like foreplay?

No, he just whips it out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When Indiana Jones was a kid he had a collection of model trucks.

He loved those trucks and he and the neighbour's kid would spend hours playing with them on a special table that was used only for Indy's trucks. They would set up elaborate dioramas on the 'truck table', adding to the displays whenever Indy came into possession of a new truck.

Fast forward a...

Today my girlfriend told me that I’m Indiana Jones, so I told her…

Well in that case, that makes you Diana Jones

What kind of beer does Indiana Jones drink to reinforce his courage?

A Rolling Rock!

Why didn't Indiana Jones have a Nokia phone?

Because he was too afraid of the Snake game.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Indiana Jones hate drag queens?

They're booby traps

Why can't Indiana Jones find a long lasting relationship?

Bad dates.

That priest from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was actually a really inspirational guy.

He touched so many hearts.

My son is playing with the newly assembled LEGO truck after playing "Lego Indiana Jones" for a bit.

In the course of playing, he says "I'm driving to Indiana Jonestown!"

To which I replied "Well once you get there, don't drink the Kool-Aid, Junior"

Indiana Jones: "I present the Ark of the Covenant, sacred crypt of the Ten Commandments."

Rick from Pawn Stars: "Best I can do is 25 bucks."

Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons...

If they acquire my parent’s divorce, they will own my entire childhood...

What does a dominatrix and Indiana Jones have in common?

They both ride on top of subs.

American, Indian and Russian go to hell...

An American, an Indian and a Russian got to hell after they died and were met by the Devil with a huge whip (twice as big as Indiana Jones had). So Devil met them and said...

-"I give everyone one chance to go to heaven, all you have to do is withstand three lashes from my whip, also you can ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was having sex with my girlfriend, Diana, when my roommate Jones entered the room

"I'm indiana jones! Get out!"

A man DIES

He died tragically and unexpectedly in a botched robbery. Devastated, his wife Cindy mourned four several months, leaving the house only to pick up groceries that her doting mother leaves on her doorstep.

The only comfort to her grief was his cat, who is similarly distraught. After several mo...

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft, and Nathan Drake walk into an ancient temple that has been lost for centuries.

They blow it up.

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