Shower thoughts didn't like it, but maybe you will

They fork

After some time, he saw that the flocks and herds were regaining their numbers, but he came across a pair of snakes who had laid no eggs, and were just laying about.

"Why have you not multiplied?" he asked.

To which the snakes responded, "we can't, we're adders."

Noah being ...

"Why have you not multiplied?" he asked.

To which the snakes responded, "we can't, we're adders."

Noah being ...

You multiply by 9/5 and add 32. It’s the muttric conversion.

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Add a bed

Subtract the clothes

Divide the legs

And hope to not multiply

Subtract the clothes

Divide the legs

And hope to not multiply

Noah lets all the animals off the ark and tells them, "Go forth, and multiply."

A year later, he goes around to all the animals to see how they're doing. The horses have foals, the wolves have pups, the lions have cubs...everything looks good. But then he gets to a couple of snakes, and they ...

A year later, he goes around to all the animals to see how they're doing. The horses have foals, the wolves have pups, the lions have cubs...everything looks good. But then he gets to a couple of snakes, and they ...

So Noah asked them, ”Why aren’t you multiplying?”

The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”

The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”

They divide.

When all the animals cleared out, only a pair of confused looking snakes remained.

"Didn't you hear me? Go forth and multiply!" Said Noah, annoyed.

"We can't" replied one of the snakes. "We're adders".

"Didn't you hear me? Go forth and multiply!" Said Noah, annoyed.

"We can't" replied one of the snakes. "We're adders".

Dark, wasn’t it?

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cause if you do that's when shit gets real.

The resulting human will be negative.

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..which consists of multiplying 100,000 dollars by the distance in inches they have between two parts of their body that they choose.

Colonel McDowell chooses this distance to be from his toe to the edge of his longest hair on his head and the result is 72 inches, so that means he gets $7,20...

Colonel McDowell chooses this distance to be from his toe to the edge of his longest hair on his head and the result is 72 inches, so that means he gets $7,20...

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However, doctors have confirmed that it was only Saturday Night Fever and they assure everyone he is Staying Alive.

Apparently, he had chills that were multiplying.

Apparently, he had chills that were multiplying.

A dead-beat Dad died and went to Heaven. He was greeted at the Golden Gate by St. Peter, who warmly shook his hand and asked him to sit down next to him. Looking over the dead-beat Dad's file, St. Peter frowned and shook his head sadly. ''Your record looks fine, except for one glaring item. Why the ...

With cowculators!

After a few months, Noah figures he better wander around and see how the animals are doing. Everybody is happy until he comes across a couple of snakes - they are quite downcast and not very happy. Noah asks what wrong, and they say "We are Adders, so we can't multiply!"

Noah rubs his chin fo...

Noah rubs his chin fo...

Once most of the exodus has completed, he noticed a pair of adders in the back looking rather distraught. "What's the matter?" he asked them.

"We're only adders, we can't multiply!" said the snakes.

Thinking quickly, Noah dashed off into the forest, and returned a short time later carr...

"We're only adders, we can't multiply!" said the snakes.

Thinking quickly, Noah dashed off into the forest, and returned a short time later carr...

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A: You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.

Edit:This is my first post to get 50+ upvotes. Thank you all

Edit 2: Wow now it is 1k+ upvotes. Thank you very much

Edit:This is my first post to get 50+ upvotes. Thank you all

Edit 2: Wow now it is 1k+ upvotes. Thank you very much

"Go forth! Be fruitful! Multiply!"

And so, the animals did go forth from Mt. Ararat, and behold they were fruitful and did multiply as Noah had commanded. But Noah saw that two snakes had remained with the ark.

"Serpents! Why has thou not done as I have commanded, and gone forth to mul...

And so, the animals did go forth from Mt. Ararat, and behold they were fruitful and did multiply as Noah had commanded. But Noah saw that two snakes had remained with the ark.

"Serpents! Why has thou not done as I have commanded, and gone forth to mul...

A headache.

Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared.

Then you Energy.

Then you Energy.

..and Noah released all the animals in the Ark, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply!"

All the animals dispersed, except for a pair of snakes.

Noah looked at them and asked, "Why are you not doing as I said?"

One of the snakes replied, "We can't multiply, we're adders."

So, ...

All the animals dispersed, except for a pair of snakes.

Noah looked at them and asked, "Why are you not doing as I said?"

One of the snakes replied, "We can't multiply, we're adders."

So, ...

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If they're under 13, just do them in your head.

He was Squared Straight.

The host looks at his question card. "Okay, here is your first question: What is 7 plus 5?"

"Twelve", replied the rabbit.

"That's correct! Now for question 2: What is 56 minus 37?"

The rabbit thought for a moment. "Nineteen"

"That's correct! Okay, now here is your grand p...

"Twelve", replied the rabbit.

"That's correct! Now for question 2: What is 56 minus 37?"

The rabbit thought for a moment. "Nineteen"

"That's correct! Okay, now here is your grand p...

They're really good at multiplying.

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"Why, what happened?" Asked his father.

"Well, she asked me to multiply 7 times 9, so I did and told her 63. Then she asked me to multiply 9 times 7, so I told her what's the fucking point if the answer's going to be the same."

"Well yeah, what IS the point if you already answered her ...

"Well, she asked me to multiply 7 times 9, so I did and told her 63. Then she asked me to multiply 9 times 7, so I told her what's the fucking point if the answer's going to be the same."

"Well yeah, what IS the point if you already answered her ...

One of the guys asks "how deep do you think that is?"

The second replies "That's easy. Just drop something down it, count how many seconds it takes to hit the bottom, and multiply by 9 meters for each second. Give or take for air resistance."

"What should we drop?" Said the first.

L...

The second replies "That's easy. Just drop something down it, count how many seconds it takes to hit the bottom, and multiply by 9 meters for each second. Give or take for air resistance."

"What should we drop?" Said the first.

L...

And Adam said "Lord, what is a 'hug'?"

And God told Adam, and Adam went to do as God told him.

And God said unto Adam, "Adam, my son, go and give your wife a kiss"

And Adam said "Lord, what is a 'kiss'?"

And God told Adam, and Adam went to do as God told him.

And G...

And God told Adam, and Adam went to do as God told him.

And God said unto Adam, "Adam, my son, go and give your wife a kiss"

And Adam said "Lord, what is a 'kiss'?"

And God told Adam, and Adam went to do as God told him.

And G...

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Try this quick and easy test. Scroll down and do the quiz as it instructs and find out what movie is your favorite. It Really works! This amazing math quiz can likely predict which of 19 films you would enjoy the most. Don't ask me how.

\- Pick a number from 1 to 9

\- Multiply by 3

...

\- Pick a number from 1 to 9

\- Multiply by 3

...

Noah's wife notices that all the animals are starting to reproduce, except for a pair of snakes. She asks Noah about it, and he says he'll take care of it. A week later, Noah brings his wife out to the workshop, and shows her the snakes in their basket on top of the picnic table he just built. "How ...

Her husband died.

She soon married again and had 3 more children.

Again, her husband died.

But she remarried and this time had 4 more children.

At last, she finally died.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking Him, for this lovi...

She soon married again and had 3 more children.

Again, her husband died.

But she remarried and this time had 4 more children.

At last, she finally died.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking Him, for this lovi...

they sure do know how to Multiply .

Murphy and O'Brien go out into the woods, they come a clearing and see an abandoned well. Murphy said 'I wonder how deep that well is?' O'Brien said, 'There's one way we could figure it out'. Murphy says, 'What's that?' O'Brien says, 'We drop something down it, we time how long it takes to hit the...

Just multiply them by the square root of negative one. Then you'll have real friends!

To the Aardvarks, he commanded, "Go forth and multiply!"

A couple snakes came slithering out, and he commanded, "Go forth and multiply!"

"We can't, we're adders." replied the snakes.

Well Noah kept giving commands, until at last he told the zebras, "Go forth and multiply!"**... **

A couple snakes came slithering out, and he commanded, "Go forth and multiply!"

"We can't, we're adders." replied the snakes.

Well Noah kept giving commands, until at last he told the zebras, "Go forth and multiply!"

I should have known. All the sines were there. He had a hard time functioning, and he would go off on tangents all the time. Such a shame - he was in his prime, his life was on a great vector. He wanted to write the next 'Matrix'. But now, he can't differentiate between what is real and what is imag...

Because they multiply by dividing.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

If you're a redneck with a son, it's go forth and multiply, it's your God-given right and duty!

If you're a redneck with a daughter, it's don't have sex, I'll make sure your suitor leaves with bullet holes.

If you're a redneck with both, you don't bother. They already know

If you're a redneck with a daughter, it's don't have sex, I'll make sure your suitor leaves with bullet holes.

If you're a redneck with both, you don't bother. They already know

Following the words of the Bible, "Be fruitful and multiply," they have many children. 16 over the course of 18 years, to be exact.

A few years later, the husband dies suddenly of a heart attack. The lady remarries another man, and they have 17 children over the course of 22 years. The woman'...

A few years later, the husband dies suddenly of a heart attack. The lady remarries another man, and they have 17 children over the course of 22 years. The woman'...

(More of a riddle hope it's okay)

The cost of the hotel is $30 so they each pay $10.

After they have settled in their room the manager realizes there was actually a deal and the room only cost $25.

The manager sends the bell hop with the $5 to refund them but on the way there h...

The cost of the hotel is $30 so they each pay $10.

After they have settled in their room the manager realizes there was actually a deal and the room only cost $25.

The manager sends the bell hop with the $5 to refund them but on the way there h...

There once was a snake breeder who had two snakes he was trying to mate. For the life of him, he couldn't get them within two feet of each other. Frustrated, he called up the local zoologist, and explained the situation. She hurried over, picked up the snakes and looked at them. "You know what I wou...

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From my childhood.

69 doctors said Dolly Partons boobs were

222 big, they sent her to

51 street to see doctor

x (multiply) He told her to take a pill for

8 days, and that left her....

69 doctors said Dolly Partons boobs were

222 big, they sent her to

51 street to see doctor

x (multiply) He told her to take a pill for

8 days, and that left her....

Dad walks by little johnny's room and hears "how much is 5 plus 5?"

He walks in and asks little johnny "why are you talking to your rabbit?"

Johnny says: "This one is stupid, the teacher told me that rabbits can multiply very fast but this one can't even add up"

He walks in and asks little johnny "why are you talking to your rabbit?"

Johnny says: "This one is stupid, the teacher told me that rabbits can multiply very fast but this one can't even add up"

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Pick a number from 1 to 9, but don't tell me what it is. Multiply that number by 9. If the the result is a two digit number, add the two digits together. Now subtract 5.

Where the letters of the alphabet correspond to the numbers 1 though 26, pick the letter associated with the number you hav...

Where the letters of the alphabet correspond to the numbers 1 though 26, pick the letter associated with the number you hav...

Then God blessed it and said: "Be fruitful and multiply."

Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar.

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Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your eyes.

If your left leg is Halloween, and your right leg is Christmas, CAN I COME IN BETWEEN HOLIDAYS?

My love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in.

If i said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?

Ni...

If your left leg is Halloween, and your right leg is Christmas, CAN I COME IN BETWEEN HOLIDAYS?

My love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in.

If i said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?

Ni...

Because to them dividing and multiplying are the same

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