UPJOKE
sandglasssandglassquicksandtimehoursilhouetteblobrectanglewater clockminutedevicedatewristpocket

Hourglass Jokes

At 70, she still had a body like an hourglass

Brittle and full of sand

Finally a documentary full of watches, hourglasses, and sundials.

It's about time.

What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure?

A waist of time.

Yesterday I broke my hourglass

It took forever to clean up and I was only able to save about half the sand. All in all it was a waste of time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whoever made the hourglass...

Must of had a lot of time on his hands.

My friend wanted to exchange his hourglass for my globe.

But I would never trade the world for more time.

My love for you is like an hourglass

I always finish on the bottom.

The lives of morbidly obese people are like hourglasses

If they don’t get turned upside down soon enough, they will be done.

A communist and his friend walk into an antique store

His friend said:

“Woah,look at this really fancy cone glass thing with the sand!,its mine!”

The communist said:

no


Its Hourglass

If you die and get cremated, . . .

you can be put into an hourglass and still be included in family game night.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was sitting at the bar enjoying a drink to myself When next thing the door opened and in walked the most stunning woman I've ever laid eyes on.

5'11'' tall, stunning blue eyes, silky blonde hair, an hourglass figure.

Barely covered by a tiny mini skirt and a flimsy cotton top. I could see she was not wearing a bra and her incredibly firm breasts were on show.

After watching her walk in I turned back to my beer. No sooner had...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The English gentleman..

..Mr. Harold James Blessing was a renowned person. He’d retired from service in the British Army, and was revered and liked by all in the town for his best qualities.

One day, while visiting the countryside where he was quite popular, he spotted an immensely pretty, dazzling, drop dead gorgeo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple meet in a bar, and over a few drinks discover a mutual interest in kinky sex, so they adjourn back to her place.

She excuses herself to go change into something a little more...else. Twenty-some minutes later she comes back out wearing an executioner's hood, elbow length opera gloves, under-bust hourglass corset, spiked thong, stockings, and thigh-high, stiletto heel boots. She cracks a bullwhip and says, "On ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny was out selling apples raising money for his boy scout troop...

He's going door to door in an apartment complex and he knocks on one of the doors.

The door opens and there is standing the most stunning woman Johnny has ever seen completely naked.

Johnny stammers out "Good day lady. Would you like to buy some apples?"

The woman grabs Johnny ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A country boy goes to Las Vegas, hits it big at the tables, and meets a gorgeous woman at a ritzy casino.

She's his dream girl, with long red hair, flawless hourglass figure, a stunning smile and intense blue eyes.

She sees him checking her out, and just as he's about to come over and introduce himself, she saunters over and says, "Hey, handsome. Do you like what you see?"

He nods. "Yes, ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.