I once tried eating an hourglass...

It was very time consuming.

What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure?

A waist of time.

At 70, she still had a body like an hourglass

Brittle and full of sand

My love for you is like an hourglass

I always finish on the bottom.

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The story of my rugby career

I was sitting at the bar enjoying a drink to myself When next thing the door opened and in walked the most stunning woman I've ever laid eyes on. 5'11'' tall, stunning blue eyes, silky blonde hair, an hourglass figure.

Barely covered by a tiny mini skirt and a flimsy cotton top. I could see s...

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The English gentleman..

..Mr. Harold James Blessing was a renowned person. He’d retired from service in the British Army, and was revered and liked by all in the town for his best qualities.

One day, while visiting the countryside where he was quite popular, he spotted an immensely pretty, dazzling, drop dead gorgeo...

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Little Johnny was out selling apples raising money for his boy scout troop...

He's going door to door in an apartment complex and he knocks on one of the doors.

The door opens and there is standing the most stunning woman Johnny has ever seen completely naked.

Johnny stammers out "Good day lady. Would you like to buy some apples?"

The woman grabs Johnny ...

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Do you like my jokes

1. My foot fell asleep and I was like, that's not a sock, that's a sleeping bag.
2. I wish banana peels had zippers.
3. My dog turned 3, so I gave him some beer.
4. *Computa*Dora The *Internet* Explorer
5. Harry Potter's motto with chicks is: Hit it 'n Quidditch ...

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A country boy goes to Las Vegas, hits it big at the tables, and meets a gorgeous woman at a ritzy casino.

She's his dream girl, with long red hair, flawless hourglass figure, a stunning smile and intense blue eyes.

She sees him checking her out, and just as he's about to come over and introduce himself, she saunters over and says, "Hey, handsome. Do you like what you see?"

He nods. "Yes, ...