UPJOKE
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Proverbial Jokes

Did you hear the Cookie Monster got Covid?

The CDC confirmed it was the om-nom-nom-nom-icron variant.




Edit: Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

Edit 2: Thank you everyone for the awards. Just trying to brighten everyone's day with a little joke. I hope this joke spreads far and wide....like Covid. Stay safe everybody...

A son runs up to his dad and tugs at his trouser leg

“Daddy, daddy! A picture is worth a thousand words!”, and immediately runs off. The dad is confused by this, but kids say funny things.

Later on, they’re having dinner, and the son is very quiet. The dad asks him if he’s ok, to which he solemnly raises his head and replies, “Make hay while th...

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are running from the cops...

when the ladies duck into the proverbial farmhouse off the main road to hide.

They see three huge wooden barrels, and each climb into one to hide.

Moments later the cops bust down the door and begin their search.

They see the first barrel (with the brunette hiding inside) and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My first time posting a joke here. I first heard this one as a teenager and I've been telling it for at least 35 years now. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. It's a long one, so be ready.

There once was a young, newlywed couple who just arrived in their honeymoon suite after a wonderful day spent celebrating their union with family and friends. The newlyweds, having both grown up in very sheltered homes, had no experience in the matters of sex and had pledged to one another to wait u...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The creation of a pussy, improved version.

Each man was a master-of-craft at his trade,


Now by God in his wisdom a task they'd been laid.


See them gathered together, by calling divine


to fashion a vulva of peerless design.


The first man, a butcher of eminent skill


took a hold of his bla...

A soldier is stationed in the middle east...

A young, American soldier arrives to his first tour of duty in an undeveloped area of Kuwait, and quickly discovers that things are rather strict. While he's able to distract himself for the first few days, he soon starts to get a little bit "antsy," and wonders how, exactly, he's meant to contend w...

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