I was talking to my parents over dinner, my Mom said she was getting tired of the Bernie Sanders memes.

I looked over to her and said "Don't worry, this trend will Bern out soon."

How does Bernie Sanders stay so slim?

Inter-mitten fasting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bernie Sanders goes to a union brothel

Bernie Sanders decides he wants to seek out a prostitute in a brothel, but not just any brothel will do. As a true champion of the working class he will only give his patronage to a true union institution.

He walks into the first brothel and he asks the owner, "if I were to pay $100, how much...

Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, and Donald Trump are all on a sinking ship. Who gets saved?

America.

Why doesn't Bernie Sanders like low-fat milk?

It's the one percent.

If you feel the Bern you should vote for Bernie Sanders

That way you can get a doctor to take a look at it

What did Bernie Sanders running for president and me arguing with my wife have in common?

We never stood a chance but we just wanted to get our ideas out there.

Bernie Sanders is like...

the guy in Among us who finds the imposter but no one listens to him.

Husband and wife are putting up Holiday decorations

when husband offers to hang the wreath. “But sweetums, you are inept and you have no tools,” says the wife. Husband shrugs and goes to Lowe’s to buy a hammer. He walks past a display for the new, Elf Steam Multi-Tool. The marketing was brilliant and it had a drill, three saws, and a sander - all wor...

Why didn't Sanders supporters vote for him on Super Tuesday?

Because they were too busy posting on Reddit

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

Joe Biden:...

Bernie Sanders: "If you are a student in debt...

...You are not a loan!"

I saw where Sanders withdrew from yet another Presidential race after he worked so hard to get where he was...

The Bern out is real

Saw a guy in the power tool department at Home Depot who looked a lot like Elvis.

Returned a sander.

People say Bernie Sanders isn’t a Democrat...

But what’s more like a Democrat than winning the popular vote and losing an election?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bernie Sanders, Bill Clinton and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar

Hillary Clinton: "This is the worst game of fuck, marry, kill I've ever played."

How many Bernie Sanders supporters does it take to win a primary election?

Trick question. They can't win, because they don't vote.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump is blaming Sanders for the violence at his rally...

because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a jew for all your problems.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I finally understand how people could compare Bernie Sanders to Hitler

Seeing how neither of them could finish a race.

Hey guy, what's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a 12 pack of toilet paper?

The toilet paper gets restocked after it sells out lel.

Why doesn’t Bernie Sanders like hand sanitizer?

Because it protects the 0.01%

Bernie Sanders confronted the head of the NSA and asked him why they are still illegally surveilling Americans.

The guy replied, “Some people just like to watch the world, Bern.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Imagine Bernie Sanders playing pokemon...

He'd lose his shit in the Pokemon Center.

A writer from the New York Times submits an article about Bernie Sanders but it is denied.

(First post here. Sorry if it sucks)

Writer: What??? I put my heart and soul into this article? What was wrong with it?

His boss: Oh, the paper’s fine, it’s just full of grammatical errors.

Writer: Like what?

His boss: Well, for example, you didn’t capitalize “Bernie Sand...

Bush, Trump, Sanders, and Clinton are all on a plane about to crash.

A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton & Bernie Sanders is about to crash, but has only 3 parachutes.
The first passenger yells, "I'm Jeb Bush, let the big dog eat! I can't
afford to die." he took the first parachute and jumped.
The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump runs scream...

Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa?

I thought he didn't care about the 1%

Bernie Sanders doesn't use hand sanitizer

"It kills 99.9% of germs," he says, "just another case of too much privilege for the 0.1%!"

Donald Trump, Bernie Sanders and kid from the make a wish foundation are on a plane.

Suddenly, the pilot comes bursting from the cabin with what appears to be a parachute on.
“The engine is gone and we’re minutes from crashing so grab a chute and follow me.
The captain opens the door and takes a leap from the plane. Bernie runs across the plane to grab a parachute but sees t...

What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates?

Mom & Dad

Colonel Sanders calls up the pope.

"Your holiness", he says. "My business is losing money and I need help. I'll donate 10 million dollars to the Vatican if you change the Lord's prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'".

"I'm sorry, Mr. Sanders" the pope replies. "I cannot change t...

Bernie Sanders walks into a bar and yells:

Free drinks for everyone!
Now who's buying?

Ever hear Colonel Sanders playing guitar?

Well he’s finger-pickin’ good!

Bernie Sanders joins list of 2020 Democratic Presidential candidates.

Err sorry, typo. That should be:
Bernie Sanders joins list of 2,020 Democratic Presidential candidates.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'd like to have sex with Sarah Huckabee Sanders . . .

no matter how bad it was she would tell everyone it was great.

Apparently Sarah Sanders has quit her job.

I won’t believe the news until I hear her personally deny it.

The Pope and Colonel Sanders of KFC are having a conversation about the change to the Lord's Prayer.

"Your Holiness," Sanders began. "You must make another change. Instead of give us today our daily bread, make it give us today our daily chicken."

"I cannot change these words!" The Pope was astounded. "They are ingrained in our very heritage!"

They negotiated until the Colonel finaly ...

Bernie Sanders is a true socialist

He's taking the delegates he's earned and giving them to somebody who is struggling to earn their own.

After being elected President, Bernie Sanders confronted...

...General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people's cell phone/internet communications.

The General sighed and shook his head. "Some men just want to watch the world, Bern."

General Tso...Colonel Sanders...

What is it with these high ranking military men making chicken?

New poll shows that the majority Bernie Sander's supporters like whole milk

But they hate 1%

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Colonel Sanders wanted to show him a secret...

Bernie Sanders isn't a Messiah.

He's just a Jewish guy sacrificing himself to save millions from their own sin and ignorance while being insulted the entire time. Clearly no basis for a religion.

Just saw Elvis at the hardware store...

Returned a sander!

Bernie, Joe and Donald are on a Zoom call.

Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, and Donald Trump secretly have regular Zoom conversations.

Bernie: “I dreamed last night that God spoke to me. He said that he wanted me to be president.”

Joe: “That’s funny. I had the exact same dream.”

Donald: “I don’t remember talking to either of y...

Bernie Sanders is such a socialist...

...he gave Hillary Clinton half the votes in Iowa.

Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump walk into a bar...

Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump walk into a bar on Christmas Eve.

Bernie Sanders says "Hello, can I have a drink?" and gets a drink.

Donald Trump walks up to the bartender and says "Merry Christmas, can I have a drink? By the way, bartender, you are extremely ugly. I f***ing hate y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bernie Sanders to ban Oral sex if he becomes president....

"It's the only way I can get reddit to stop sucking my dick" - he said.

To solve world hunger we need to eat the rich and erect a giant statue of Bernie Sanders. Why do we need the statue?

Well, I’m glad that the first step didn’t raise any questions.

At a press conference, Sarah Sanders is asked, "why has Trump imposed tarrifs on soybeans but not chickpeas?"

Sarah rolled her eyes and contorted her face even more, then replied, "listen Jim Acosta, I don't know what you're agenda is with that question, but suffice it to say that the President's decision on which legumes to tarrif is deeply rooted in the fact that he's never had a Russian soybean on his he...

A Trump supporter, a Sanders supporter and a Clinton supporter are being interviewed.

The question asked was 'what do you think of morals in politics'?
The Sanders supporter says: politics? What is politics?
The Clinton supporter says: morals? What is morals?
The Trump supporter says: think? What is think?

Did you hear the one about Bernie Sanders?

Probably not, the /r/politics mods deleted it before anyone saw.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am making a movie on Colonel Sanders, titled

To Kill A Fucking Bird

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I call my penis Bernie Sanders...

...because it leans far left and stands up for everyone.

Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs?

Because only the top 1% can stay above water.

Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton are on the same stage

Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.

Bernie leans towards Hillary and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand, i can make this crowd go absolutely wild with joy? The will not just be a momentary joy, this joy will be huge and they ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It makes sense that Bernie Sanders supports Marijuana legalization...

...because his success has hinged upon high voter turnout.

HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Fuck, I need to sleep...

Bernie Sanders is finally deciding to cut the BS

He will now go by: Ernie Anders.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Always ask "are you voting for Sanders?" before sex.

If they say "yes" you know they are too young.

Bernie Sanders and Google Fiber walk into a bar.

And all of Reddit gave it an upvote.

What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called?

Hindsight is 2020

If President Bernie Sanders were to die in office...

And an elaborate homage to Weekend at Bernie's was undertaken to cover up that fact, he'd still have less strings than Hillary Clinton.

What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

Clinton, Sanders, Trump and Cruz are having lunch together...

and they're discussing why each thinks they'll win.
"I have the support of women and minorities" says Clinton. "I have the support of intellectuals" says Sanders "I have the support of the average american tired of politics as usual" says Trump.
Cruz just smiles..."I have the support of the pe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Each 2020 hopeful Presidential candidate was asked to reveal their private reddit account to prove their values.

Bernie Sanders was insisting that the top 1% of reddit had way too many coins and wanted to force them to share gold more often.

Pete Buttigieg basically followed all of Bernie's posts and talked trash.

Joe Biden was just crossposting old posts of Obama's and saying how awesome they we...

When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders...

When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders, do I punch the ballot with my sickle or my hammer?

To me Bernie Sanders is more like God

It is not the guy I have problem with but the fan club freaks me out.

If all of the Democratic candidates this primary had military experience...

...then, in theory, we could have seen a race between G.I. Joe and Colonel Sanders.

It's the end of the 2016 presidential race

It's the end of the 2016 presidential race and the people of the United States hated the candidates so much that nobody voted. The government is in a panic trying to figure out what to do to decide who the next president will be. Finally, Barack Obama comes up with an idea: a literal presidential ra...

What do you need to clean the stain of Trumps presidency?

Gerni Sanders

I went to buy a book about Bernie Sanders

...but it was sold out.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders' kids must be failing out of school...

Cause they're probably taught to avoid answering every question.

People are loving this whole 'birdie sanders' thing but...

i don't recall a similar reaction when bill clinton got a bird to come

Hillary Clinton and Bernie sanders are having dinner together!

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders were having dinner when Hillary said to Bernie "Let me get you a knife"
Bernie said "I'll just use this one you put in my back"

Bernie Sanders may be old, but he loves modern technologies such as. . .

Socialist Media.

What do a Bernie Sanders supporter, a Cross-Fitter, and a person with Herpes have in common?

They all "Feel The Burn!"

Political Joke

Bernie Sanders: Hey Trump. Wanna hear a joke?

Trump: Sure

Bernie: A second presidential term

Trump: I don’t get it.

Bernie: Exactly.

Bernie Sanders looks and sounds like the High Sparrow from GoT, but that's an unfair comparison.

By next season, Reddit will still remember the High Sparrow.

The Sanders/Cruz debate was really weird

It was like peeking into an alternate dimension where both parties had hindsight

The Pope and Colonel Sanders

When KFC sales hit a lean patch, Colonel Sanders came up with a brilliant advertising idea.

He got in touch with the Pope and asked the pontiff whether he could change the words of the Lord's Prayer from "Give us this day a daily bread" to "Give us this day a daily chicken."

"I can't p...

Former presidential candidate Senator Sanders falls ill. What do you call him?

A sick Bern.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Spy

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8 -year old
son in the flat, was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on
all the street activities.

Their 8-year old began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation;
<...

I told my Dad I was voting for Bernie Sanders...

He responded, "So you want to see America be destroyed?"

I said, "No, I want to watch it Bern."

Why does Donald Trump dislike Bernie Sanders?

Chickens tend to avoid anything with the last name "Sanders".

What's Bernie Sanders's favorite insurance company?

Progressive

*this just popped up in my head while in the shower. If already posted I apologize in advance*

Yo mama is so fat that she is voting for Sanders

COLONEL SANDERS

Joe Biden formally announcing his run for president

Bernie Sanders: I am running

Andrew Yang: I am running

Kamala Harris: I am running

Elizabeth Warren: I am running

Joe Biden: Me too

I was in my hotel lobby, and I heard two chess Masters bragging about past wins.

They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

( Credit to Thomas Sanders, this made me laugh, I thought other people should see it. )

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