His holiness the Dalai Lama

Sent an email to Xi Jinping.

Xi Jinping opened the email and clicked on the attachment.

It was malware and the Party's computer system crashed.

Xi Jinping got on the phone and angrily demanded an answer from His Holiness.

"With attachment, comes suffering", said the Dalai...

Smartest president

An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes.

The 1st passenger said, 'I am LeBron James, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die.' So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.

The 2...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Priests and Two Nuns have dinner with His Holiness, the Pope.

Two priests are fishing on lake outside of Rome. It's a beautiful day, the sun is light, and the water is smooth. Suddenly the first priests fishing rod bends alarmingly; he has hooked a huge fish! It's a struggle but he managed to reel it in. It's a beautiful rainbow coloured fish and big enough to...

Cardinal: Your holiness, do you like fried chicken?

Pope:yes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope contracts a rare terminal illness.

The best specialists were quietly called in from around the world for consultation.After much debate and research they determined that the only hope to save the Pope's life was for him to have sexual relations with a woman. His advisors were notified and they in turn spoke in confidence with the pop...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old jew visits the pope

The pope was sitting in his office one day when his secretary came running in.

“Your Holiness, there’s an old jew who’s been sitting outside your door every day for the last few weeks. He said he wants an audience.”

The pope was surprised by this statement, but seeing as the jew had w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is at the urinal when the Dalai Lama walks in and stands next to him.

The man is shocked. He then proceeds to ask, "Oh Your Holiness, may I ask of your wisdom?", the Dalai Lama replies, "Yes my son, you need to look down."

Taken aback, the man asks, "So you mean I need to look deep down into my being?", the Dalai Lama replies, "No my son, you need to look down ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope goes into a steakhouse

A waiter immediately rushes up to him, but before he can say anything the Pope holds up his hand. "Please," says the Pope, "no fuss. I just wanted to slip away for a few hours and enjoy some good food." And the waiter gives him a nod and says, "No problem, let's find you a quiet seat at the back whe...

His Holiness the Pope is an avid fan of crosswords, and one day he was struggling with one...

"I can't seem to get this last word to fit!" He complained to his aide.

"Have you checked the other cross words, your Holiness?"

"Yes, but it's only the one word, and it's a four letter word for a woman, that ends in 'unt'''

"A yes, aunt!" Said the aide.

Suddenly the Pope...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope and a womanizer died on the same day...

... but, by mistake, the womanizer went to Heaven and the Pope, to Hell.

When all the celestial bureaucracies were resolved and His Holiness was entering the Gates of Paradise, he crossed with the womanizer and said:

\- I am very sorry, my son, but I have waited all my life to kneel ...

The Pope gets on an aeroplane and sits next to an Irishman

His cardinals sit behind him and the Irishman. The aeroplane gets high up in the air and the Pope takes out a crossword that he's been solving and gets stuck on one clue. The clue has three letters already filled.

*"14. A woman in your life."*

*"\_UNT"*

The Pope shows the clue t...

Goodwill ?

It is said that when He made the world, God overturned the bag of miracles in the place where America is now.
Astonished and a little shocked by the excessive goodwill of his Creator, an angel asked God:
"What are you doing, Your Holiness? Didn't you give them too much?"
God answered him...

Four women were talking to one another about their sons, whom all were men of the cloth

The first woman said, "I'm so proud of my son. He's a monsignor, and when he enters the room, everyone calls him 'His Holiness.'" The second woman said, "My son is a Cardinal, and everyone calls him 'His Excellence' when he enters a room." The third woman said, "My son is a bishop, and when he enter...

A guy was boarding a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. "This is exciting!" thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Suddenly, the man realized his seat was right next to the Pope himself!

Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to His Holiness.

Shortly after take-off, the Pope took a crossword puzzle out of his carry on bag and began penciling in the answers.

"This is fantastic!" the gentleman mused. "I'm really good at crosswords!"

It crossed his mind that if ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

President Clinton and the Pope die on the same day.

Due to a paperwork issue, the Pope ends up in Hell and the President gets sent to Heaven. The Pope explains the mix up to the devil, who acknowledges the problem and tells him it will take 24 hours before they can reverse it. The next day, the Pope gets called to leave, and on his way up he met Clin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nescafe and the Lord’s Prayer

The marketing Director of Nescafe manages to meet with the Pope at the Vatican.

After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers: 'Your Eminence, I have some business to discuss. We at Nescafe have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.