UPJOKE
godgoddessdivinedivinityimmortalpantheondemigodlatinholydemogorgonallahmorpheuszombisacredyahweh

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What's the difference between an atheist and an evangelical deity?

The atheist is honest about not following the teachings of dicks.

When you're writing a letter to Heaven about how shocked you are that there is a new elk deity

Dear God,

Dear God...

Deer God.

Rumor has it there is a cult that worships Earth as a deity and sees natural disasters as messages from Mother Gaia. It's called...

...The Order of Magnitude.

I told my date I'd treat her like a deity.

At the end she'd get nailed.

My deity ignored my prayers today.

The sacrifice was a disaster. First, I didn't have the correct incantation, and then the goat knocked over the candles.

I guess two wrongs don't make a rite.

What did the deity say when it came back as a hill-billy?

"What incarnation?!?"

I before E except after C

We feign agreeing, but this foreign poltergeist of a rule is neither efficient nor smart- and therein lies the height of the issue. It's as if an ancient deity has deigned to influence the zeitgeist of the people. We must remove the weight of this veil from their eyes, and forfeit the obeisance of t...

A priest, a rabbi, and an engineer get caught by a barbaric tribe...

The tribe sentences all of them to death by beheading. The priest starts praying profusely as he stares up at the sharp bladed guillotine ready to end his life. His chants get stronger and frantic as the lever is finally pulled. Miraculously, the blade stops halfway and the tribe fearful of this man...

Three devotees decide to prove the power of their faith...

...they all decide to jump off a cliff one by one, all the while invoking the name of their chosen deity.

The first devotee, a Buddhist, proceeds to stand at the edge of the cliff and begins reciting the mora sutta. At the end of the chant he jumps and calls on Buddha three times: ***"Buddha ...

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Spin on a joke I posted here a while back.

OG JOKE:


My Dad Told Me This One, You Might Know It

3 men are on top of a cliff. A mystical deity approaches them.

"I will grant you one wish, you just have to jump off the cliff!" His voice booms.

The first man, being power hungry, wished to be a lion, king of...

A General was about to lose in a battle

Suddenly a deity came to help and turned the tide to his favor. The general was quite grateful, kneeled down and asked, "What is my savior's great name?" The deity said, "I'm the god of practice target."
The general baffled, asked again, "What merit do I possess, that the God of practice target c...

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Kim Jong Un

I remember reading a news story about North Korean propaganda. One piece involved a lie Kim Jong Un told his people. In an effort to deceive the people into thinking he was a deity, he told them he never has to defecate. I remember reading that and thinking, "Wow, he is so full of shit."

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