Just found- Lost Scriptures from the Book of Paul.

It is Good Friday and there are multitudes of people gathered around Mt. Calvary wailing, worshiping, and witnessing the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, now nailed to the cross atop this hill for all to see. Jesus cries out, "Paul...Paul... Paaaulll.." Paul hears this and to prove he is a good disciple...

A Pakistani cleric issued a new fatwa that orders you to stay in your homes and study the scriptures.

As expected, they're calling it the *Quran*tine.

What do you call scriptures for blind people?

The holy braille

A Woman goes to her local church to talk to the Priest.

The Priest asks her, "What troubles you, my child?" The woman replies,"Father, I have two female parrots at home. They only say " Hey cutie, wanna have some fun? " and " You can do *whatever* you want to me ", and nothing else. This has ruined more than one dinner party. I don't know what to do!"...

The Pope Dies and Goes to Heaven

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee and, after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available.


He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eo...

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In medieval times in Rome, the Pope, influenced by some conservative advisers, decided to expel all Jews from the city

The Pope, not wanting to seem as forcing his decision on the Jews, allowed a debate to be held so the Jews could defend their citizenship.

That night, the Jewish Rabbis gathered in the synagogue to decide who will debate against the Pope. However none of the Rabbis wanted to debate against hi...

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Two boys were arguing in the street day...

...and the village priest walked by and heard their squabbling over what to call an animal.

"No, no, no" said Johnny. "Its a mule. My daddy said you call it a mule. Daddy said it's called a mule, hes the smartest man I know, you call it a mule!"

"Well I dont care what your daddy says,"...

What is Easter?

As told to me by a priest when I was little:

Three bad Catholics die and go to heaven. Saint Peter says to them "To get into heaven, you must pass a quiz first. What is Easter?"

The first Catholic steps up and says, "Easter is the holiday when a big fat man comes down your chimney an...

The curious monk

A monk in an ancient monastery is doing his daily work, transcribing and recopying the ancient scrolls and scriptures of his tradition that his predecessors wrote, which they copied from their ancestors texts and so on....

The curious monk begins to wonder if in the endless sequence of copyin...

Question

At the Henry Street Hebrew School, the rabbi finished the day’s lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.

“Rabbi,” little Melvin asked, “there’s something I need to know.”

“What’s that, my child?” the rabbi asked.

“Well, according to the Scriptures, the children of ...

A priest goes to visit an older member of his congregation at her house.

He knocks on her door and she invites him in with a big smile on her face.

"Father Johnson! It's so nice to see you here!" says the old lady. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"Well, Mrs. Smith, I've been preaching sermons at St. Mary's for 35 years and not once did you mi...

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2 nuns on the highway

Mother Superior and Sister Caroline are driving on the highway on their way to a wedding. Mother Superior is behind the wheel while Sr. Caroline is riding passenger and yacking on and on about her favorite scriptures, the Blessed Mother, Pope Francis, and so on...

Out of nowhere, a terrible ...

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