1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
What do you call Phillip, the insightful cop?
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy shit," the guy replies. "You actually...
50 Cent is a very insightful person. Wherever he goes, he tailors his shows to be inoffensive to local cultures and customs.
At his latest gig in Harare he performed under the name "4 Billion Dollars".
John was attending his buddy’s wedding and everything was normal…
The ceremony was at a beautiful church in the countryside, the officiant gave an insightful speech on the meaning of marriage, and the bride and groom were beaming throughout the whole thing. John couldn’t have been happier for his friend.
After exchanging vows, the bride and groom announced ...
My life ambition is to have a lot of karma on Reddit.
Unfortunately, it is a hard job. I tried doing it alone first, leaving insightful comments and making quirky posts - but I had no luck. So I decided to ask for advice.
First, I went to a wise guru who had a thousand karma. And I asked him, "Oh wise guru, how do you have so much karma?"
Sherlock Holmes and Watson go Camping
They spend the day tracking small animals, fishing, and having a grand time by the shores of a remote lake, before cooking up their dinner and settling into their beds and drifting off to sleep.
Sometime after midnight, Holmes wakes up feeling insightful. He wakes Watson up.
Why did the bottle say "Haaaaay"
It was full of wine. (A very insightful joke from my five-year-old)