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Hefner Jokes

I wish I was Hugh Hefner.

Not because of all the money and girls. Because he died last week.

RIP Hugh Hefner

Through his death, I'll be reaching for tissues in his honor for the rest of my life.

A touching tribute to Hugh Hefner

RIP Hugh Hefner - the man who taught a complete generation how to read a book with one hand!

Our top story tonight: Famous playboy hugh hefner...

Famous playboy hugh hefner managed to stop an order of monks from operating their buisiness on his private property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, located just outside the playboy mansion, where they had been selling flowers. When interviewed, one monk said: "Well, if it wa...

When Hugh Hefner dies

I don't think people will say he's in a better place.

Hugh Hefner Peacefully Passed Away From Natural Causes Today.

Playmate Natural Causes could not be reached for comment.

Hugh Hefner was sitting in the Playboy mansion, admiring 'the view'

He then heard there were a group of people at the door, trying to sell him flowers.

He went out and said, "Can I help you?"
"HI sir! We are from Rainbow Florists and would like to know if you want to buy some beautiful flowers for your beautiful ladies?"

"Get the hell off my propert...

Of course Hugh Hefner died on a Wednesday

We call it hump day for a reason.

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Hugh Hefner was actually a big proponent of Elon Musk when he was alive.

He first heard about Space-X on the radio.

"Space sex?" he asked. "Sign me the fuck up!"

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What's the difference between myxomatosis and Hugh Hefner?

Myxomatosis doesn't need Viagra to fuck bunnies.

what did mick jagger say when he caught hugh hefner and dennis weaver in the bedroom together?

hey, hugh, get off of mccloud.

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For the first time, I'm having more sex than

Hugh Hefner

Neo probably should have taken the blue pill

Ask Hugh Hefner.

Police responded to a call outside the Playboy mansion.

Mr. Hefner called the police to remove a group of monks selling daisies out of an illegal roadside stand in front of the Playboy mansion. A police spokesperson released a statement "we responded promptly to Mr. Hefner's call because as everybody knows, only Hugh can prevent florist friars."

A group of Franciscan Monks arrived at the front of the Playboy Mansion

They all started setting up shops. One by one, they would close down, and the only carts that remained sold flowers.

The police and the media started to show up, amazed that the monks were able to sell flowers on the Playboy Mansion front steps. Passers by would buy a rose, and pass the house...

I had a dream.

Last night I had a dream. I dreamed that Hugh Hefner, publisher of Playboy died and went to Hell. He was trapped in a small room with no doors or windows with an unattractive, hateful woman. A voice boomed out from nowhere and said: "Hugh Hefner, for your sins in life you shall spend eternity wit...

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Breaking news : ISIS has surrendered

As soon as they read that Hugh Hefner has died , they realized there won't be any more virgins left for them in heaven, and have laid down their arms and will lead peaceful lives with their current wives .

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper?

Ask Hugh Hefner.

Some monks were selling flowers outside the playboy mansion

Hugh Hefner realises this and puts a stop to it as they are on his property and welcoming tourists. The local news catches wind of this and goes to interview the monks.

The reporter asks "do you think you will set up shop somewhere else?"

And the monks reply "oh yes, only Hugh can pr...

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Topical Jokes (5/16)

Another day has gone by. And, of course, we now have a new set of jokes. Some of these are weirder but let's begin!

Inside int'l experts believe that Kim Jong Un may have two babies by two different women. In a quick response to the rumor, President Obama has appointed a new consul to North K...

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