UPJOKE
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A Policeman, Heart Surgeon, Lawyer, Grandfather and his Grandson are flying in on a plane...

...They hear this load bang, and then some alarms go off.

"Uh...This is your captain speaking. We seem to have taken damage to our engines and the plane is going down. Please grab a parachute and exit the plane immediately. Because this is not a ship, I don't plan on going down with it"
<...

A heart surgeon took his car to his local garage for a regular service, where he usually exchanged a little friendly banter with the owner, a skilled but not especially wealthy mechanic.

"So tell me," says the mechanic, "I've been wondering about what we both do for a living, and how much more you get paid than me.."
"Yes?.." says the surgeon.
"Well look at this," says the mechanic, as he worked on a big complicated engine, "I check how it's running, open it up, fix the valves...

Heart Surgeon Joke

So a mechanic is talking to a heart surgeon he asks "we basically do the same thing in our lines of work you work on hearts i work on engines which is the heart of a car."

The heart surgeon agrees.

"So," the mechanic continues, "why do you get paid so much more than me?"

The hea...

The Heart Surgeon

There was this kid, he applied to the best hospital in his city. The interviewer said "youre grades are amazing, your teachers have written amazing letters of recommendations but I have to ask what are your weaknesses?"
the guy laughs and says "well i get real nervous under pressure, i tend to re...

Heart surgeons can exclusively work from home

Since home is where the heart is

Mechanic vs. heart surgeon ... similar jobs?

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the

mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I as...

A well renown heart surgeon has passed away.

All of his familiy members, colleagues and former students attend at his funeral service. Near the end of the ceremony, his well decorated coffin is being lowered into a heart shaped patch of red flowers, which opens up just before the coffin is being lowered. During that process, a man amongst the ...

A famous heart surgeon died and everyone was gathered at his funeral.

A coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone had paid their respects, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.

Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him said, c...

Dr. In Heaven (Long)

A world famous heart surgeon had a massive heart attack and suddenly found himself in heaven. He was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter and was warmly welcomed.
After touring heaven he noticed that for every thing in heaven, there was a long line of people waiting to get in. Movies-line, bathro...

Why do you make more money?

A heart surgeon takes his Cadillac to his mechanic to get his engine fixed. When he returns a few days after to pick up the car, the mechanic calls him over to show him something. He says, "Okay Doc, I've changed the seals out and fixed everything up but I have one question. The engine is to the car...

An Indian is meeting his future wife via an arranged marriage and he father for the first time...

An Indian is meeting his future wife via an arranged marriage and he father for the first time. Her father is a heart surgeon. At one point in the evening, the father pulls the man aside and says, "There is something you should know about Saanvi before you wed. I am her doctor as well as her fa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four 'Older' ladies are sitting in the tearoom of an exclusive country club, discussing their families.

Marjorie Puts down her tea and says "I am so proud of my son. He's a respected heart Surgeon. Just last month he performed a transplant on a famous billionaire and, In gratitude, the gentleman gave him a new Porsche sports car"

Mildred addresses her companions. "Of course, I am also very prou...

They Say The Best Way to Get to a Man's Heart is Through His Stomach...

This is why I'm not a heart surgeon anymore.

A teacher worked for an affluential school

She asks her little students to bring something from their family for a show and tell. The next day, she calls little Mary to show what she had brought.

"I've brought a scalpel, teacher. It's my mom's, she is a heart surgeon"

"Oh, how marvelous! And you, Luke, what do you have there?"<...

Every new McDonald's creates 40 new jobs.

20 dentists and 20 heart surgeons.

My fortune cookie read “You will touch the hearts of many.”

Jokes on them. I’m a heart surgeon.

Should I go to the hospital right now?

Because I'm a heart surgeon, but I'm just not feeling it right now, you know?

Cardiologist

A heart surgeon had died and at his funural the coffin was placed above a heart made of flowers. After everyone had said goodbye the coffin was lowered into the heart, during which someone began laughing really loud. 'What is wrong with you?' the person sitting next to the laughing man asked. 'I jus...

Dr V/s Mechanic

An engineer was removing the engine parts from a racing car when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop.

He went to him & said, "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back. So why do I get such a small salary? and you get huge sums???"...

There are four people on a crashing plane but only three parachutes...

First man goes "I am a leading heart surgeon one of the best in the world, my patients and country need me". He takes the first parachute and jumps.

Second man arrogantly goes "I am brilliant rocket scientist, one of the smartest men alive the world needs me". He takes the second parachute an...

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