Dog walks into a telegraph office...

Says he wants to send a message.

"Sure" says the clerk, "what's the message?"

"Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof."

Clerk says, "OK, but for the same price, there's enough room for one more 'woof'".

Dog wrinkles his brow and replies, "But that wouldn't make...

Telegraph Operators once complained to Morse how some of his codes were confusing and needs to be revised.

But he had no remorse.

A dog walks into a telegraph office

It is a quiet Friday noon in New York and a young telegrapher is minding his business when the bell on the door suddenly chimes and a dog walks in.

The telegrapher looks perplexed as the dog hands him a piece of paper and says in perfect English: “Hello sir. I would like to send that to my f...

An old joke I can't find on Reddit. Here we go...

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from re-possessing the ranch they need to purchase a bull from a stockyard in a far-away town so that they can breed their own stock. Th...

Paddy and Murphy were walking back from the pub together when they saw a job flyer posted on telegraph pole. It read “Tree-Fellers Wanted”

Paddy turned to Murphy and said “it’s a shame Seamus isn’t here, we’d be perfect for that job”

What did the telegraph operator say to kids pranking him?

This is used for work, stop.

This is not a game, stop.

In 1862, Australia implemented a telegraph system that stretched from south Australia to Indonesia and beyond. Effectively becoming Australia’s first internet.

And the speed of communication hasn’t changed since.

How did Vikings communicate over telegraph?

Norse Code

Two men were washed ashore during World War I.

Their ship, an aging minesweeping model, had wrecked off the coast of an uninhabited island. As the older veteran worked to build a makeshift camp, the younger soldier managed to salvage a radio, and quickly telegraphed an SOS with their coordinates.

To their surprise, a ship responded withi...

So, a dog walks into a telegraph office...

...he tells the telegraph operator that he'd like to send a telegram that says, "Woof, woof, woof...woof, woof, woof, woof." The operator says, "I noticed you have 9 words. You can include a 10th "Woof" at no extra charge. And, the dog looks at him and says, "Why? That wouldn't make any sense."

A blonde and a redhead head into their ranch and find their bull is missing

The women plan to buy another one, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."

She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the te...

A dog goes into a telegraph office

A dog goes into a telegraph office, takes a blank form, and writes: “Woof Woof. Woof Woof. Woof Woof. Woof Woof, Woof.”

The clerk examines the paper and politely tells the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

The dog looks confused ...

What does a telegraph operator feel when he has to send the same message again?

Remorse.

I’ve been told the telegraph operator who repeats himself

Has re-morse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a telegraph pole on which birds tend to sit and defecate

It's a shitty post.

The telegraph must be the most heartless invention...

...because Samuel had no remorse.

I know a telegraph operator who was so bad he always had to send his messages again.

He had a lot of remorse about that.

A joke I adore despite it being completely telegraphed.

My wife told me women are better at multitasking than men STOP So I told her to sit down and shut up STOP Guess what... She couldn't do either STOP

A man was recruited for a space colony

He had been posted to a planet 14 lightyears from Sol. As his ship landed on the planet's glowing surface, he saw a car waiting for him.

"Welcome to Anti-Earth," The driver said, "don't worry we are going to change the name soon. I am here to take you to your quarters and show you the colony ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

The farmer and his wife needed a new bull...

There was a man who lived on a farm with his wife in the middle of nowhere. All they owned was a truck, a few cows, and an old bull. They didn't have much, but they were happy.

One day, the farmer woke up and found that the bull had died. He went to his wife and said, "I take our money into ...

What are the three fastest forms of communication?

Telephone, telegraph, tell a woman.

Ketchup telegram

During the early 1900s the Heinz ketchup company was struggling to meet the increased demand for their product. They had invested heavily in factories and infrastructure but nothing seemed to increase their output of ketchup.

The CEO decides to hire an investigator from Germany who is well kn...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit their family's ranch.

In order to stay out of bankruptcy, they need to buy a bull to replace one who recently died. So the brunette goes online and finds a bull for sale in the city stockyards, about three hours away. The price of the bull is listed as $5,000.

Sadly, their inheritance wasn't much beyond the ranch,...

telegram

A dog walked into a Western Union station, took a slip of paper off the teller's window, and proceeded to write out a telegram that said, "bow wow, bow wow, bow wow, bow wow." He handed the paper to the telegraph clerk, who read it and said, "You've written an eight word telegram here. Did you rea...

These two sisters, one blonde and one brunette...

...own a ranch and have a bunch of cows but they don't have a bull. They see an ad in a local paper that a farmer a few towns over is selling a bull. The brunette decides that she'll go check it out and tells the blonde, "I'll send word to you to bring the trailer to pick up the bull if the farmer s...

Buying a bull

Two sisters owned a cow farm. One brunette, and one blond. They both agreed that they needed a bull but only had 600 dollars. The brunette found a bull online, and traveled 3 states over to look at the bull. The farmer said he would take no less then 599 dollars for the bull. With 1 dollar left, she...

Slow wife

A village man decided to walk 5 miles to town for some supplies. While there, he saw a bull for sale. It was a grand bull and decided to buy it. After making the purchase, he realized he would need his wife to come help him bring the bull back home. At the time, the only way to communicate to an...

Two teenage girls and their dad live in a small village

A blonde, younger girl and an older brunette It's a poor family, with nothing but a telegraph machine and a $100. One day the dad dies, leaving the two girls alone. The older girl decides to step up and try to solve at least one of the problems that they were facing: hunger. So she decides to go in...

There were two sisters...

Once upon a time, in the wild, wild West there were two sisters, Jill and Susie. A relative of theirs dies and leaves the two sisters a ranch. The ranch was run down and they had little else to their name besides the ranch so they thought they'd invest what they had left into a stud bull to mate ...

Paddy the irishman gets a job

Paddy and his friend were hired to install telegraph poles.
After his first day his boss approaches and asks how many poles he put down yesterday.
paddy says "2"
"2!!" says his boss, "My other guys can put 10-15 poles in a day"
"yes, but do you see how far theirs are sticking out...

An Italian, an Egyptian and a Greek...

...were fighting over whose ancestors had the most advanced civilization.

The Romans were the most advanced said the Italian. And I'm going to prove it to you. Here's a photograph
from a recent excavation site under the Colloseum. What do you see?

The Egyptian and the Greek after st...

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