This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Stand up comedy and Sex have in common?

If you haven't heard any noise in a while, change what you're doing.

I could do some great stand up comedy about Stephen Hawking...

but then it wouldn’t be stand up comedy

Whats the opposite of stand up comedy?

A sitcom.

My chiropractor recently started doing stand up comedy

He really cracks me up.

I just watched a beautiful woman doing stand up comedy totally naked.

Never laughed so hard in my life.

Everyone laughed at me when I said I wanted to do stand up comedy

Well, no one's laughing now

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to do stand up comedy with former WWE Superstar Rikishi

He was the butt of all my jokes

A Terrorist Tries Stand Up Comedy for the First Time...

Let's just say he was the bomb.

I bought a Rolex before trying & failing at stand up comedy.

Apparently you need more than impeccable timing.

looking for a great stand up comedy show?

just watch the GOP debate

What’s one job Stephen hawking would be no good at?

Stand up comedy.

A man gets sentenced to life in prison

On his first night there, his cell mate tells him there's a stand up comedy event.

They are sitting watching, and an inmate gets up and stands on the stage

"15", he calls out. The whole audience starts laughing.
"23", he continues. Hysterical laughter everywhere.

The man...

When I was a little boy

everyone laughed at me for wanting to be a stand up comedy actor. So I became one and no one is laughing now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Chinese Wife: Lost in Translate

This isn't a joke, but a true story and a lesson for those who dare tackle racial boundaries. I spent a couple years living in China (I have no Chinese heritage whatsoever), where I met my wife, who speaks Mandarin & some English as a 2nd language. Her English is good, but she struggles with s...

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