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Acupuncturist Jokes

I went to the acupuncturist the other day

When I got home my voodoo doll was dead

It's always such a delicate conversation when I have to tell my acupuncturist friend to clean up his floor.

I'm walking on pins and needles here.

What’s an acupuncturist’s favorite food?

Poke

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ex wife was an acupuncturist…

Divorced her because she was a backstabbing bitch.

One thing I have learnt this year is to never trust acupuncturists

They'll stab you in the back the first chance they get

I asked my acupuncturist to use smaller needles this time, but they ignored me.

I’ve never felt so stabbed in the back.

I really don't trust acupuncturists

They're all back stabbers

Why did the acupuncturist have so many assistants?

They needle the help they can get!

I went to see this acupuncturist, called "The dude".

He told me me Yin and Yang channels were out of balance. He said some of my meridians were open too much, and some were blocked.

I told him: "I've been feeling cold, slow, and passive recently. I think my Yang meridians are closed."

He said, "Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, you...

Why did the pastor encourage his entire congregation to go to an acupuncturist?

So, that they would become more holy.

Just once I would like to go to a acupuncturist, lay down on his couch and when he says "how can I help you?"

I'll say "Well I keep getting pins and needles in my leg"

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