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The Gynaecologist’s Assistant

A young man goes into the Job Center in Downtown Los Angeles and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he goes to learn more.

"Can you give me some more details?" he asks the clerk.

The clerk pulls up the file and says, "The job entails getting the ladies ...

What do you call a deaf Gynaecologist?

*A lip reader.*

What does a shortsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?

A wet nose.

I'm a retired Gynaecologist but ocassionally I do the odd appointment at a local surgey.

You know.... just to keep my hand in.

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A married gynaecologist looks at his hand

"Some cunt has got my ring"

A new gynaecologist just opened near my area but, people are saying he is deaf...

I guess he is a really good lip reader...

How do you know when a gynaecologist is nearsighted?

They've got a wet nose

A visit to my gynaecologist

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctors office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.

The ...

A nun goes to the gynaecologist

"Doctor, in the morning I always find blue confetti in my panties. Is it the devil's doing?"

"No, sister. Just remove the stickers from the bananas"

A woman visits the gynaecologist for the first time...

Her legs are up in the stirrups and she looks very uncomfortable. The doctor says, "You look nervous. Would you like me to numb you down there before the exam?"

She looks relieved and says "Yes, please."

So, the doctor puts his head between her legs and goes num, num, num.

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An attractive blonde walks into a gynaecologist’s clinic.

The doctor takes one look at her, and all his professionalism goes out the window. He quickly invites the blonde to undress and lay back on the examination table.

He starts by placing his hands on her ample tits and begins vigorously squeezing them. He then asks, “Do you know what I’m doing?”...

What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery driver have in common?

They can smell it but they can’t eat it.

What do a visually impaired gynaecologist and dogs have in common?

Wet noses

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A hot blonde goes to the gynaecologist for a check up...

When she enters his office, the doctor is overcome by his primal urges, and immediately tells her to take off her clothes.

"Do you know why I asked you to do that?" He asks, hesitantly.
"Sure, you want to check everything to make sure I'm fine."
"That's right!" He says.

After ...

Gynaecologists are the most negative people you can find

Because they look for faults where others look for pleasure

Gynaecologist

aka female private investigator

An old lady went to visit her dentist,

When it was her turn, she squatted in the chair and lowered her underpants.

The dentist freaked out and looked at her and said

“Madam, I’m not a gynaecologist.”

“I know” she replied,

“I need you take my husbands dentures out.”

You'll have to travel to Oxford

A bloke goes into the jobcentre in Newcastle and sees a card advertising for a gynaecologists assistant, interested he goes to find out more..
'Can you give me some more details about this?' He said to the guy behind the desk.
The jobcentre guy shifts through his files and replies 'ah yes, I'...

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Tax inspector marries a woman who was already married 6 times. First wedding night...

"Dear, please be careful, I'm a virgin!"

- No way! There were six spouses now?

"I'll explain everything to you.

My first husband was a psychiatrist. He was just talking about sex. Theoretically. Never did it in practice.

My second husband was a gynaecologist. He was just...

The heart shaped wreath at the funeral of a a cardiologist

makes one wonder for the funeral of a gynaecologist.

You know when you have that urge to eat something just because it's there

That's how I lost my job as a gynaecologist.

An old lady goes to the dentist,

She then begins taking off all her clothes and spreading her legs. The dentist says woahhhh I’m a dentist not a doctor, or a gynaecologist.! the woman replies yeah I know, I need my husbands teeth back.

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.

The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.' The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. 'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'

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I found a dead mouse in my mother's basement.

Honestly, I hate being a gynaecologist sometimes.

Do you ever feel like eating something because it's there?

Today I got fired from my job as a gynaecologist.

Cardiologist

A heart surgeon had died and at his funural the coffin was placed above a heart made of flowers. After everyone had said goodbye the coffin was lowered into the heart, during which someone began laughing really loud. 'What is wrong with you?' the person sitting next to the laughing man asked. 'I jus...

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The chicken farmer

A chicken farmer stopped in local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"

"What a coincidence" the farmer said. "This is a special day for me. I am celebrating."

"This is a sp...

In the Australian Outback, they're called 'bush doctors'.

But I'm pretty sure everyone else just calls them gynaecologists.

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Fourth husband

A wife was lying in her bed with her fourth husband, they were just married and very much in love. Says the wife, "please be gentle, I am still a virgin." So the husband asks, "how can you be a virgin if you've been married three times?".

Says the wife:

My first husband was a psychiatr...

You know that feeling when you want to eat something that’s right in front of you, but you can’t?

Yea, that’s why I quit being a gynaecologist

Career Change

A gynaecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and
paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skill-ful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes,
attended dili...

Little old lady goes to a dentist...

A little old lady goes to the dentist.


She walks in to the dentists office, sits down, drops her panties, and lifts her legs.


Rather flustered the Dentist says, "I'm sorry madam, I'm not a gynaecologist!"


She says, "I know you're not, I just need my husband's teeth...

I always eat what's put in front of me...

...and that's why I'm no longer allowed to be a gynaecologist.

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