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Grocers Jokes

Why did the vegetarian turn down the job at the green grocers?

The celery was unacceptable!

Ever since I became the new produce inspector I've been visiting local grocers and supermarkets; but they're always surprised to see me.

It seems nobody expects the spinach inquisition

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman walks into a green grocers.

She asks the man behind the counter for a cucumber.

He asks her: "Whole or sliced?"

She replies: "I've got a fanny, not a fucking slot machine!"

A dispute between two vegans at green grocers shop turned violent when one of them started throwing a leaf vegetable with somewhat jagged leaves at the other! The second vegan responded by picking them up and hurling them back!

It was either kale or be kaled.

I asked my Grandpa for twenty dollars

"Twenty dollars? What for?"

I told him I needed Groceries.

Grandpa said " When I was a boy my mom would give me one dollar. I would ride my bike to the grocers and come back with a dozen eggs, a pound of bacon, two sacks of potatos, a jug of milk, a tin of coffee, and two loaves of bre...

ENGLISH IS A FUNNY LANGUAGE

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant not ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English fo...

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