What did the greengrocer say when he sold his last onion?

"Thats shallot!"

I suspect my local greengrocer is overcharging for veg.

He's only charged me full price for an undersized lettuce, but I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg.

A Spanish greengrocer is 1.74 meters tall, has a waist circumference of 105 centimeters, and wears a size of 44. What does he weigh?

Vegetables

Did you hear about the vandal who broke into the greengrocers to smash a single piece of fruit?

He got arrested for breaking a nectarine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes to a greengrocers.

She asks the clerk "Can I have some broccoli?"

The clerk says "I'm sorry but I don't have any broccoli. Would you like celery instead?"

The woman says "No thanks, I'll just have some broccoli."

"Ma'am I don't think you understand, I don't have any broccoli. Perhaps some cabbage?...

What does a cannibalistic vegan eat?

A greengrocer.

100 kisses

A miser wrote a letter to his wife saying that he can’t send her money this month, so he sends hundred kisses instead.

She replied a month later saying: “Thanks for the kisses, dear, because they helped me a lot. Here’s how I spent them: 2 kisses for the milkman, 7 for the grocer, the landlor...

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When an old woman goes to the grocer.

A elderly woman makes a trip to the greengrocer down the block. A friendly employee sees her browsing the various vegetables and asks, "Excuse me, ma'am, can I help you find something?"

The old woman, without hesitation, replies, "Yes, you can! I'd like to buy a pound of broccoli."

"...

Old, but gold

A woman goes to the market.

She says to the greengrocer: "I would like to purchase a cucumber"

The vendor answers: "Buy two, so you can eat one"

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