UPJOKE
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It’s been a long week in the greengrocers ….

It’s been a long week in the greengrocers but it finally gets to Friday night and three best mates - a lemon, a potato and a pea - decide to have a couple of beers after work, as so often happens, soon they’re on a full on pub crawl...

They have a great night, hitting pub after pub , knocki...

I live above an eccentric Greengrocer

His fruit selection is totally bananas
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A lady is shopping at the greengrocer's.

— The lady: What beautiful cucumbers! So long and big, how much does one cost?
— The greengrocer: it costs $ 1 but if you get two I'll give you a discount, $ 1.50 for both.
— The lady: Ok, I'll take two, maybe I can eat one.
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I was recently made redundant from my job at the Greengrocers



They gave me a months Celery, and four leeks in lieu of notice
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I suspect my local greengrocer is overcharging for veg.

He's only charged me full price for an undersized lettuce, but I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg.
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Did you hear about the vandal who broke into the greengrocers to smash a single piece of fruit?

He got arrested for breaking a nectarine.
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A woman goes to a greengrocers.

She asks the clerk "Can I have some broccoli?"

The clerk says "I'm sorry but I don't have any broccoli. Would you like celery instead?"

The woman says "No thanks, I'll just have some broccoli."

"Ma'am I don't think you understand, I don't have any broccoli. Perhaps some cabbage?...

A nun goes to the greengrocer

A nun goes to the greengrocer, asking for a cucumber.
"Get 2" he says. "So you have one to eat"
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A Spanish greengrocer is 1.74 meters tall, has a waist circumference of 105 centimeters, and wears a size of 44. What does he weigh?

Vegetables
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What does a cannibalistic vegan eat?

A greengrocer.
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Old, but gold

A woman goes to the market.

She says to the greengrocer: "I would like to purchase a cucumber"

The vendor answers: "Buy two, so you can eat one"
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100 kisses

A miser wrote a letter to his wife saying that he can’t send her money this month, so he sends hundred kisses instead.

She replied a month later saying: “Thanks for the kisses, dear, because they helped me a lot. Here’s how I spent them: 2 kisses for the milkman, 7 for the grocer, the landlor...
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When an old woman goes to the grocer.

A elderly woman makes a trip to the greengrocer down the block. A friendly employee sees her browsing the various vegetables and asks, "Excuse me, ma'am, can I help you find something?"

The old woman, without hesitation, replies, "Yes, you can! I'd like to buy a pound of broccoli."

"...

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