UPJOKE
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Why do fishmongers keep all the profit for themselves?

Because they sel fish

A man walks into a seafood shop carrying a trout under his arm.

"do you make fish cakes?"

"Yes we do" replies the fishmonger...

"Great" says the man, ït's his birthday"

Fishmonger job

I’ve just been offered a job as a fishmonger, but I’m not sure if I'll accept it or not.

I’ll need to weigh up the frozen prawns.

"Stop! Thief!" shouted the fishmonger.

"Don't move a mussel."

The weirdest thing happened to me today, Dwayne Johnson was holding me down wgilst a fishmonger hit me with a frozen fish.

I was stuck between The Rock and a hard plaice

A blind man walks into a fishmongers shop...

And says "Good morning ladies!"...

"Hmm," I said to the fishmonger, examining the selection. "I've got the munchies, I will eat any of these."

"Smoked trout?" he asked.

"No," I replied. "Just a little bit of weed."

Why are fishmongers never generous?

Because their business makes them sell-fish.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Jewish Fishmonger

So this man goes to his Jewish fishmonger and says, "All your neighbors praise your smartness and intellect. What's the secret?"

The fishmonger says that he eats 3 fish heads a day. He offers to to sell the man a fish head for 3 dollars. The man buys 3 fish heads.

Some weeks go by. Th...

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fishmonger?

"Hello ladies!"

A guy was shopping at an outdoor fish market...

His dog was nosing around and all the sudden a lobster reached out of its tank and grabbed the dog's tail. The dog yelped and ran down the street with the lobster securely in tow. "That's a good trick, Mister," said the fishmonger, "but call your dog so I can have my lobster back!" The guy looks ...

Why are fishmongers only thinking about themselves?

Cause they sell fish

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken walks into a library...

The librarian lifts their gaze with a mixture of curiosity and surprise as the bird hops onto the counter. It tilts its head and, with an air of demand, clucks:

"Book!"

The librarian is taken aback at this odd display. The chicken impatiently taps one foot on the counter.

"Book,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fish

A woman rushes into a fish shop at 4:45 on a Saturday evening and orders a pound of Cod.

The fishmonger says, “I’m sorry, we’ve sold out of cod.”

The woman says, “But I want a pound of Cod.!”

The fishmonger says, “I’m sorry, but we have sold right out of Cod.!”

The woman ...

I still remember my fathers last words...."you selfish boy"

So i became a fishmonger, to follow his dying wish.

A magician goes to a fish market...

The fishmonger says “pick a cod, any cod”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a priest goes to the market to buy some dinner...

He walks up to a fishmonger and asks to buy some trout. The guy says, "Yeah, sure, I'll give you some of this dam trout."

The priest, a little offended, says, "There's no need for that kind of language." The fishmonger says, "Oh, I don't mean the swear. This trout was caught at a dam, so it'...

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