UPJOKE
empirecaucasussultanhabsburgbyzantine empireimperialpersiaconstantinopletransylvaniaturkeyistanbulaustria-hungarybalkaneuropeasia

During a war with the Ottoman Empire, the Habsburg army lost thousands of men in the battle of Karánsebes, and was forced to flee from the battlefield.

Then the Ottomans arrived.

The Ottoman Empire...

Really loved to put their feet up.

(such a bad bad joke)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the time of the Ottoman Empire, there was a wedding.

Back then, weddings were pretty big, and also long. People used to travel tens or hundreds of kilometers to attend at a wedding. For that reason, they would stay for a few days as guests. They would normally sleep in really big rooms, on the floor, and women and men would normally be separated... ...

I want to open a shop that sells nothing but footstools.

I’ll call it… The Ottoman Empire



…I’ll see myself out.

If an anime was based around the Ottoman Empire...

It would be a literal Harem anime.

A wealthy Saudi man comes home one day and finds his two wives fighting about which one he loves more.

As he tries to reassure both of them that he cares for them equally, one asks “if we were all out on your yacht and it started sinking, and you could only save one of us, which would you save?”

The man ponders for a moment, turns to the other wife, takes her hands in his, and says “my dearest...

What’s the most comfortable empire?

The Ottoman Empire.

And much like that one, I’ll see myself out now.

I'm going to be a furniture store entrepreneur one day.

My first store will be called "Sofa Kingdom".

My second store will be called "Ottoman Empire."

Then people will say "That's Sofa Kingdom also."

The leg rests have taken over!

Fear the Ottoman Empire!

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.