UPJOKE
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I bought my niece some fancy new graphite shoes;

but she won't wear them because she's trying to decrease her carbon footprint.

Two children pieces of graphite are playing with a diamond.....

...Mummy piece of graphite walks in and says "Leave your Father alone - he's been under a lot of pressure"

A woman goes into Discount Fishing Supplies to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday....

She doesn't know which one to get, so she just picks one and goes over to the counter.

The salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades.

She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on...

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De parrot, he is dead

At dawn the telephone rings,

"Hello, SeƱor Bob? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, SeƱor Bob, that your parrot, he is dead".

"My parrot? Dead? The one t...

What's the point of a pencil?

Graphite.

What do you call a comic drawn with only a pencil?

A graphite novel

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and...

...he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers, and six-pa...

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A young boy applied for a job at a store...

The store manager said: ā€œWe are looking for somebody with sales experience but weā€™re having a holiday sale tomorrow and you can give it a try.ā€

At the end of the day the manager checked the day sales and was shocked, the boy had sold $79,083.25 worth of merchandise.

He asked the boy ho...

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A beautiful woman walking into a sporting goods store...

She spends a few minutes shopping around until she finds a fishing rod that she would like to buy for herself. She picks it up and brings it to the front counter. When she arrives the only cashier is a blind man.

"Good choice" The blind man says "That rod is only $20 this week"

"How do...

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Cheating wife

Guys,

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her.

Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a go...

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