My nieces asked me to kill a wasp for them...

I told the that that's a feature of "Uncle Premium" and their attitudes only get them the basic subscription!

I forgot to keep my subscription to Scrabble Club up to date.

Now they've started sending me threatening letters.

Being a woman after puberty has some amazing benefits!

But the monthly subscription price is a real pain

This Valentine's Day, 1 in 3 people will be crying into a bag of popcorn while watching Netflix alone.

Not me, though. I can't afford a subscription.

I founded John Lennon Television, and now weโ€™re the second biggest subscription TV service in the UK.

Above us, only Sky.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The dean of a conservative college was mad that boys kept entering the girls dorm.... He called a general assembly and said:

"It is unacceptable for anyone to enter the dormitory of the opposite sex! If anyone is caught doing this from now on, it will result in a $100 fine for the first offence. If the same individual is caught a second time, the fine is $500, and for a third offence, the fine is $1000! Does anyone have a...

A man and a woman are about to have intercourse

Woman: Do you have protection

Man: Yes, I spend $2.99 on my monthly NordVPN subscription

r/Jokes has finally started to do something about all the reposts

If you see a reposted joke, they'll refund your subscription fees.

I was just about to watch Armageddon on Netflix, when my subscription expired.

"Ah well," I thought. "It's not the end of the world."

Why does Nintendo require an online subscription to finish Final Fantasy VII?

Cloud saves.

So I heard that Gamestop is looking for a Buyer

I'm readying an offer of $3.25 in Store Credit and a subscription to Game Informer.

Subscribe (Verb) - to obtain or have a subscription to a publication, concert series, service, etc.

Subscribe (Noun) - a very obedient writer

Why did Netflix lose 250 dollars?

Because all of Mo'Niques fans cancelled their subscription.

"NSFW" "Long" A young man wants to effectively lose weight...

...so he buys a subscription to a company that he thinks is going to help him. He's unfamiliar with their methods so he is surprised when his doorbell rings suddenly on the following day. He opens the door and standing there is a smoking hot 21 year old girl with nothing on her body but pink running...

I've had my gym subscription for 4 months now and nothing has changed

Guess I'll have to go there personally and see what's happening

What should you buy so you always have ammunition on hand?

A magazine subscription.

Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime.

Give a man a monthly subscription of fish delivery right to his home, profit.

I just got subscription to a Magazine About lettuce...

...I mean, It's fun to leaf through, and full of crisp facts -*And that's just issue 1!* The publishers assure me that it's only the tip of the iceberg! Gee, I can't wait for issue 2 to see what facts romaine!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

After a long, miserable day a man hears a knock at the door..

He walks to the door and opens it to find there's no one there. He assumes it must be the neighborhood kids messing with him, so he angrily slams the door and begins to walk away.
He takes a couple steps and hears the knock again. He lunges back and quickly opens the door, hoping to catch the kid...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The Naked Spa

An old man decided to pay a Naked Spa a visit. After registering for a new membership and changing into his birthday suit, he decided to take a walk around the place all naked and stuff.

Along the way, he saw a young naked woman which gave him a boner. The woman noticed him, so she walked ove...

There's a new video subscription service in Russia called Nyetflix

But the rental period is too short so you're always Russian!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

There was once an old postman...

...whose name was Stan. Stan had had a robust career delivering mail in a small town for over 45 years, and decided to retire. On his final day of work, the families on his route all decided to give him presents to show their appreciation. At the first house, the McKinsleys gave him a very nice set ...

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