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Young Girl Jokes

A young girl talking to her Mother.

Instead of buying me clothes for Christmas can you send them to all of the girls that haven't got any. Oh so who are these girls that haven't got any clothes?


You know the ones. The ones on daddy's computer.

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Three beautiful young girls are walking along the beach when they come across a man sunbathing.

He has no arms or legs. The first girl goes up to him and says, "Have you ever been hugged?"
The man shakes his head, so she bends down and gives him a big hug.

The second girl asks him if he has ever been kissed. Again he shakes his head so she bends down and gives him a long lingering k...

A young girl.

A young girl, who was writing a paper for school, came to her father and asked...

"Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?"

The father replied, "It is mostly a matter of degree."

"Let me show you what I mean... "

With that, the father went to the tele...

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A young teenage girl was making a living as a prostitute

and for obvious reasons she kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but littl...

A young girl asks her father, “Daddy what does the word ‘corruption’ mean?”

- “Bring me a beer and I’ll tell you.”
- “But mummy says you shouldn’t drink!”
- “Get a nice ice cream as well while you bring me beer.”
- “Oh, okay!”

A young girl asked her mother "mom, when you had me did you want a boy or a girl?

The mother responded "I wanted a backrub".

A young girl returns home after a bus trip with her dad

When she gets home she rushes to her mother to tell her about the trip.
After speaking of all the sights they saw she finished the story on the bus ride back:
"On the bus, daddy told me to offer my seat to a random lady so I did"

Her mother replied: "Oh wow! You did the right thing hone...

A man sits next to a young girl on an airplane. She’s reading her Bible…

Man: What are you reading about?

Girl: The story of Jonah getting eaten by a whale

Man: You can’t seriously believe he was actually eaten by a whale and lived…

Girl: I do.

Man: How can you know

Girl: I’ll know once I get to heaven and ask him

Man: What if h...

So a guy is walking with a young girl into the woods.

Girl "It is getting dark out and I am getting scared"

Man "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."

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A young girl started work in the village chemist shop.

She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public. The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own.

She had to confide in him her worries about selling the condoms.

"Look," he said. "My regular customers don't a...

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One Christmas morning, a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light and next to him is a little girl on her brand-new bike.

The cop says to the young girl, "Nice bike you got there sweetheart. Did Santa bring that to you?"

“Yes, he did,” she replied sweetly.

With a smile on his face, the cop says "Well, next year, tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike,” and he proceeds to hand the girl a $20 ticket....

As a priest walks down the street, he notices a young girl struggling to reach the door knocker on a tall front door.

"Allow me to assist," he offers, knocking on the door for her.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" he asks kindly.

"Yes," says the girl, "Now we run like crazy."

In 2007, a young girl Zimbabwean girl asked her parents for Z$20.00.

Her mom responded "Z$30.00? What do you need Z$50.00 for?"

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Dr. Watson catches Sherlock having sex with a young girl...

Dr. Watson catches Sherlock having sex with a young girl and says:
Sherlock, what are you doing? This girl looks like she's in middle school.
Sherlock: Elementary, dear Watson.

A young girl accepts a dare, and wins a dollar

she tells her mom about it, saying how the boys dared her to climb a post.

"Silly girl, that's so they could look up your skirt."

So the next day, the girl comes back and says "They tried to make me climb that post again, but I outsmarted them this time!"

"Really? What did you ...

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An old friend of mine married a young girl

As we’re not exactly young ourselves, I was curious how he held up, and asked him how often they had sex.

“Almost every day,” he said.

“Almost every day?!” I exclaimed.

“Yes, almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday...”

A German and an Englishman are having a conversation in the park when suddenly a young girl falls into the lake.

They both rush in to save her, but when they emerge she’s unconscious.

The Englishman asks the German if they know the number for emergency services.

“999.”

The Englishman replies, “fine, I’ll call them myself.”

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A young girl was about to get married.

The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter.

"Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something."

"Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl.

Two weeks after the wedding, the girl a...

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store last Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock, brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, “I don’t think you understand, I want something very special.” At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock an...

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A young girl goes into a pet store.

A young girl goes into a pet store and is looking at the bunny cages when the owner comes up to her.
"So there, what sort of bunny do you want? The wittle white bunny or the wittle brown bunny"
to which she replied, "I don't really think my python gives a shit"

A young girl questions her mom:

- Mom, how come you’ve never showed me pictures of when I was a baby.

- Very simple my dear, you were born blind.

Two young girls were talking

Girl 1: What does your daddy do for a living?

Girl 2: He's a lawyer. What about your daddy?

Girl 1: My daddy's dead

Girl 2: What did he do before he died?

Girl 1: He sort of clutched at his chest and fell over


From Garrison Keillor's "pretty good joke book"

What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?

"Smell ya later!"

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One summers day, a group of young girls decide to go swimming...

One summers day, a group of girls decide to go swimming rather than class. Instead of the more popular spots, the friends choose a discreet little pond on the far side of the lake. Sure, its privately owned but they're unlikely to be discovered there.

When the young ladies get to the pond, t...

A sweet young girl entered a pet shop

and asked, "Do you have widdle wabbits?"


The shopkeeper knelt down, smiled and asked, "Do you want a widdle white wabby, or a thoft fuwwy bwack wabby, or a cute widdle bwown wabby?"


She put her hands on her hips and said quietly, "I don’t fink my pet python weally gives a...

Young girl goes to a confession ...

"Father, there's something funny happening down in my lady parts.. it feels like i have 100 flies down there, very tickling feeling. Can you help me?" Father says: "oh dear, this is completely normal, but i am afraid i cant help you with this one. Go ask someone else." She walks out and meets an old...

A young girl runs under a church awning to escape the rain.

"Wow, it's really pouring sky buckets out here!" she yells to the priest greeting visitors.

Before he can respond, the sky releases a torrential downpour, as if a thousand firehoses opened up from the clouds.

"Whoa! Now it's *really* raining cats and dogs!" she exclaims. Suddenly, a c...

Why do young girls go to the restroom in odd numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

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A monk and a young girl were traveling through the desert.

At some point their camel died so the monk said that, because they were born into this world naked, they should die naked.

So they strip and the girl points to the man's penis and asks: "What is that?" "Well" says the monk "If I put that in you it will create life!" "Well, what are you waitin...

A young girl is praying before bed on Christmas Eve...

"Dear God, please help me with my dyslexia, Mom and Dad had to help me with my list to santa. I almost asked Satan for my first bar. I was so embarrassed. Also, please be with those poorer and less fortunate than us. Amen"

And God said to the little girl, "Woof!"

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A young girl...

There once was a little girl named Lucy who loved to read, particularly fairy tales. Her mother was sweet and her father was a clown (literally). For a long time, the little girl would read these books of hers, and eventually came to the conclusion that trolls were her favorite creature of them all....

A young girl walks into a library and asks for a book about suicide

Get lost you wont return it anyway

What did a hot young girl with cleavage do?

Made you look!

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I've written a book about a young girl

who takes drugs and encounters all kinds of strange creatures talking in almost incomprehensible dialect. It ends up with her getting pregnant and becoming a single mother, living on a shitty estate and surviving off benefits.

It's called "Alice in Sunderland".

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A young girl becomes a woman

And has her first period. She has no idea what's going and is a little freaked out. So she goes to her best friend Johnny and says "Johnny, something really weird is going on. I have no idea what's wrong!" Johnny says "Alright let me take a look."

So the girl drops her undies, pulls her ski...

A young girl goes up to her dad and says

"Why did you name me Lily?", to which he responds "Because a lily fell on your head when you were born."

Her sister comes up and asks "Dad, why did you name me Rose?", so he replies "Because a rose fell on your head when you were born."

Their sister, Piano then runs over and asks "AHBA...

A Doctor is examining a young girl with an ample chest. He holds his stethoscope to her chest and says 'OK, Nice big breaths'

'Yeth' replies the girl, 'and I'm only theventeen'

An 8-year old girl went to the office with her father on 'Take Your Kid to Work Day'.

An 8-year old girl went to the office with her father on 'Take Your Kid to Work Day'. As they were walking around the office, the young girl starting crying and getting very cranky, her father asked what was wrong with her.

As the staff gathered round she sobbed loudly, Daddy, where are all t...

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ravishing young girl

In a train compartment, there are three men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1, I’ll show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of t...

A young girl returns home from school one day.....

and informs her parents that she is pregnant.
Her father immediately demands that the father of the child comes to the house so he can give him "the beating of his life".

5mins later, a Ferrari pulls up outside, and out steps this guy dressed in an expensive suit, sunglasses etc (you get t...

A young girl comes homes and excitedly says to her mother: “mom! I’m in love!”

Her mother replies: “that’s great, sweetheart! What’s his name?”

“Nicos”, the daughter says.

“NICOS?!” the mother cries out. “A Greek? Sweetie, you know the Greek are a special people...”

“I don’t want to hear it!” The daughter responds. “I love him and we are getting married n...

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A young girl with a heart condition is about to be deflowered

A young girl with a heart condition is about to be deflowered for the first-time. Fearing the increased cardiovascular strain of sex could kill her she tries to put it off.
"I'm not sure if I can do this" she tells her boyfriend
"It's fine" he reassures her "it can wait".

Months go by a...

What's the difference between young girls and photographs?

After putting them in a dark room, you have to wait for the photograph to fully develop.

A young girl walks in on her dad peeing...

The dad fumbles around trying to cover up. Then the girl says "don't worry dad. I've seen one before. Mommy brushes her teeth with the neighbor's."

A sweet young girl walks into an elevator at Macy's, trailing a cloud of expensive perfume.

She brags to the elderly woman who was inside, Coco Chanel $900 per ounce.

The lift reaches the second floor where the old lady is about to get off. As she steps out of the elevator, she rips out a rumbling fart. Trailing a heavy cloud, she smiles sweetly and announces, broccoli, 49 cents a p...

A young girl wanders into a section of beach designated for nudists only...

A man sees the young girl approaching him and quickly covers up his privates with a small towel. She asks the man what’s under his towel and he says that it’s his little birdie. She asks if she can play with his little bird but the man insists that it is sleeping. The girl keeps pleading with the ma...

A man proposes to a beautiful young girl and attempts to entice her by telling her that his father is 100 years old and possesses a fortune of several million pounds. The girl asks for two weeks to consider the proposal ...

Two weeks pass and the man calls the girl for her decision 'I can't sorry' she tells him 'I'm your stepmother'

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A beautiful young girl goes into the doctors office (not a blonde joke)

The doctor has her get undressed. She is the most exquisite woman he's seen. He starts the examination.

He has her open her mouth. All he can think about is putting his penis in there for a blowjob. He starts to feel in her mouth.

Do you know what I'm doing? he asks. Yes, she replies,...

A beautiful young girl of around 18 years tried to board a bus.

A beautiful young girl of around 18 years,tried to board a bus but the bus conductor didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
The judge was ...

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According to my mom this is the first joke I ever told [NSFW text]

It's a warm summer day and an elderly gentleman and his wife are driving down the highway. They are in the midst of a heated argument; his wife has accused him of adultery. Although he is vigilantly defending his honor she is convinced that he has been cheating on her. Back and forth they shout, get...

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A young girl goes to the zoo with her mother

and the girl see's something between the elephant's legs and asks what it is. The mother is shocked so she says "oh that's nothing." A week later the girl goes to the zoo with her father and asks about the elephant again. The father blatantly says "it's a penis." The girl replies with "but mother sa...

So this young girl gets pulled over....

And the police officer asks the girl for her license, she says she doesn't have one, he asks why and she says because she has a bunch of DUI charges. Then he says can I see your ownership. She says I don't have one, he asks why not? She says because it's not her car, he says who's is it? She says th...

So I rear-ended a young girl in traffic the other day...

And a dwarf stepped out of the passenger side and said, "You just hit my sister's car, and I am not happy."

So I asked him, "Well which one are you?"

A young girl is walking home from school one day when a car pulls up along side her.

The window goes down and the driver says to her
"Hey sweetie, I'll gove you a dollar if you get in the car with me..."
The girl doesn't say anything, she just walks a little faster.
The driver says
"Alright, I'll give you ten dollars if you get in the car with me..."
Again, the girl...

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After my wife died of a heart attack, I didn't want to settle down again right away. I wanted to have some fun first, so I went online to find a young girl with big tits that I could have casual sex with. Needless to say, my in laws weren't impressed...

They thought I should have called an ambulance first...

Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and a young girl all board a small plane...

Midway through the flight, the pilot has a stroke and the plane starts to go down. There are only three parachutes on board and the four passengers quickly discuss who of them will take them.

Immediately the Donald says, "I'm the first human orange to be nominated for president, I should be g...

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A man was getting a tan on a nudist beach when a young girl walks towards him...

Because he found it indecent to be fully nude in front of the little girl, he covered his groin with his hat.
"What's underneath that hat?" the girl asked. "Nothing special, just a little birdy" the man replied.

The girl insisted on seeing the birdy, and the man told her no, so she walk...

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I don't know why Epstein had to chase after young girls. I'm sure grown women were impressed by his dick size.

After all, he was hung.

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(NSFW) A 90-year old man walks into a church confessional...

'Father,' he says, 'I'm 90 years old...been married for 70 years. Yesterday two college girls picked me up at the store. We drove to a motel and I fucked them both!'
'And are you remorseful?' asks the priest.
'Hell no.'
'So then what do you think of these sins?' the priest asks.
'What si...

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A young girl is babysitting a 2 year old...

The girl has to go to the bathroom. The little boy being curious goes into the bathroom just as she's finishing up and sees her private parts. Seeing that they're different from his, the boy asks her "What's that?" Unable to think of a good lie the babysitter says, "It's my vagina." The boy then n...

A young girl is living with her aunt...

One night the girl is on her way out to go dancing. The aunt notices that her niece isn't wearing a bra, and her shirt is quite translucent. So the aunt stops her before she leaves the house and demands where she is going dressed like that.
"Oh Aunty," the girl replies, "I'm just letting my rose...

I asked a young girl, "How do you get all these expensive things? New iMac, iPad, iPhone?!"

She smiled and said, "iSwallow."

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An old man stares at a young scene girl with rainbow hair...

The young girl says "Whats the matter old man...never done anything crazy in your life?"

The old man shook his head and said "Got high and fucked a parrot once....was just wondering if you were my daughter."

I live in a really bad neighborhood. A young girl was pounding on my door all night.

Eventually I had to let her out.

A miller tells the king his daughter Edith can spin straw into gold.

So the king locks Edith in a room with straw and tells her she will die if she can not spin straw into gold. After awhile a small man appears to the crying miller’s daughter.

RUMPELSTILTSKIN: What saddens you young girl?

EDITH: My father’s big mouth has gotten me in quite the predicame...

A young girl comes home from a date looking rather sad. Her mother asks her what’s wrong.

A young girl comes home from a date looking rather sad.
Her mother asks her what’s wrong.

She says, “Bill proposed to me an hour ago.”

Her mother asks, “Why are you so sad then?”

The girl replies, “Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’...

Some people say I am an evil person. But thats not true. I have the heart of a sweet young girl,

in a jar under my bed.

A young Catholic girl goes to confession and says "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"

The Priests asks" In what way have you sinned my child"?

"I am pregnant father, and I think it must be the second coming" The girl replies.

The Priests is puzzled by her remark and says " My child, what makes you think that it has anything to do with the second coming"?

The y...

A young girl is at a club and sits down at a table next to thee guys at another table.

The three guys are talking rather energetically, and the girl hears their conversation;

First guy: "It's spelled, W.H.O.O.M....WHOOM!"

The second guy: "No, you're wrong..it's spelled W.H.U.M.E....WHUME!"

Then the third guy: : "You both don't know what you're talking about! It's ...

This guy sites down next to a pretty young girl at a bar

This guy sites down next to a pretty young lady at a bar and they strike up a conversation. The conversation is going pretty well, so the guy says "you remind me of my little toe." The lady, who is a bit confused, responds "is that because I'm small and cute?" The guy responds "no, it's because I'm ...

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Little Johnny #71

During a class on good manners and etiquette being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:

“If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?”

Little Mike rep...

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