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Tzu Jokes

Did you know the magnifying glass was invented by a Chinese guy?

Yeah, his name was Tzu Minh

Why are Shih Tzu and bulldog the two worst dog breeds to cross?

Because when you crossbreed them, they make a shihtdog.

What do you get when you breed a pit bull with a shih tzu?

Yiff.

What do you get when you mix a bulldog and a shi'tzu?

The worst smoothie I've ever had and arrested, apparently.

A zoo in China denies using a man in a costume pretending to be a bear. But they do have a dog dressed up as a lion…

It’s a Shih Tzu.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Bulldog - Shih Tzu mix?

A Tzu Dog. Because your other idea was bullshit.

I always thought a shih tzu was...

a zoo without animals.

I went to a zoo the other day, but all the cages were empty apart from one that just had a little dog in it

It was a shih tzu

What do you get when you cross a Dachshund, a Schnauzer, a Shih Tzu, and a Poodle?

A Wienerschnitzel.

A family go to the zoo

They're excited to see all the exotic animals, birds & reptiles. The first enclosure is empty, totally deserted. Unperturbed they carry on to the next one.. again it's empty!
Every single enclosure, cage, run and avery they encounter is empty, deserted and unkempt..

Except, right besi...

I told Alexa to play pet sounds on repeat to keep my dog company while I was out of the house today.

Long story short, my shih-tzu knows the words to "God Only Knows" now.

At my city, we have a zoo which is only filled with dogs. Even worse, there’s only one breed of dogs inside the zoo.

It’s a shih tzu.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The American Kennel Club has recognized new dog breeds.

* Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter. Great for Christmas.
* Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer. Smells like fresh mountain dog.
* Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabrador. Won't stop barking.
* Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere. A dog that's true til the end.
* Terrier...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Designer dog breeds

So they have all sorts of new designer dog breeds out there now. Things like the Labradoodle, Goldendoodle, and a Puggle. I have a dog that's a mix between a dachshund and a Shih Tzu, they call it Dachshit.

I couldn’t raise my grades

So I put them up for adoption

-Sun Tzu

London Zoo has put all it's animals into lockdown during the pandemic. There's only one dog on display.

It's a shih tzu.

Keep your friends at least 6 feet apart

... and your enemies closer.

*- Sun Tzu*

Praying mantises don't actually pray, laughing hyenas don't actually laugh, and songbirds don't actually sing.

The name Shih Tzu is accurate though.

Nice joke that doubles as a haiku.

I went to a zoo.

There was just one dog on show.

It was a shih tzu.

EDIT:
A lot of people are complaining that it's not a haiku. I read shih tzu as 1 syllable, so my mistake. Sorry for the misleading title!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Poodle, a Cocker Spaniel & a Great Dane are sitting in a veterinarian's waiting room.

The Great Dane asks, "What are you fellas here for?" The Poodle says, " The other night my owner had his boss and his wife over for dinner. I'd been feeling frisky all day and the wife's leg was looking good, so I jumpd up and started humping the heck out of it. She freaked out, my owner was furiou...

Telling these ones right. The worst Zoo I ever went to...

was overpriced, smelly and almost all the enclosures were empty, the only exhibit worth looking at was some yappy little dog with bug eyes, anyway...It was a Shih Tzu

Sorry in advance for the pun...

So they opened a new zoo by my house, it really sucks. They only have one dog....it's a total shih tzu.

A man and his daughter go to a zoo

The daughter says to her father, "Wow, I can't believe that zoo had nothing but dogs."
The father says back, "Yeah, it was a total shih tzu".

I took my niece to the zoo the other day...

The only animal there was a small, scruffy looking dog.

I called the zookeeper over.

"What's with the scruffy old dog? Why is that the only animal?"

"It's a Shih-Tzu"

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