UPJOKE
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What do you get when you breed a pit bull with a shih tzu?

Yiff.

I told Alexa to play pet sounds on repeat to keep my dog company while I was out of the house today.

Long story short, my shih-tzu knows the words to "God Only Knows" now.

What do you get when you mix a bulldog and a shi'tzu?

The worst smoothie I've ever had and arrested, apparently.

I went to the zoo yesterday…

It only had one dog, it was a shih tzu.

What do you get when you cross a Dachshund, a Schnauzer, a Shih Tzu, and a Poodle?

A Wienerschnitzel.

I always thought a shih tzu was...

a zoo without animals.

I got bored so I decided…

I got bored one day, so I decided to round up my family and go to our local zoo. We got there, and to our surprise, there was only one animal. It was a shih tzu.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Poodle, a Cocker Spaniel & a Great Dane are sitting in a veterinarian's waiting room.

The Great Dane asks, "What are you fellas here for?" The Poodle says, " The other night my owner had his boss and his wife over for dinner. I'd been feeling frisky all day and the wife's leg was looking good, so I jumpd up and started humping the heck out of it. She freaked out, my owner was furiou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Designer dog breeds

So they have all sorts of new designer dog breeds out there now. Things like the Labradoodle, Goldendoodle, and a Puggle. I have a dog that's a mix between a dachshund and a Shih Tzu, they call it Dachshit.

One day, a man decides to go to a zoo.

He goes in through the entrance and into the main area. In that main area is only one enclosure. In that enclosure is a dog.

It’s a Shih Tzu.

At my city, we have a zoo which is only filled with dogs. Even worse, there’s only one breed of dogs inside the zoo.

It’s a shih tzu.

I couldn’t raise my grades

So I put them up for adoption

-Sun Tzu

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The American Kennel Club has recognized new dog breeds.

* Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter. Great for Christmas.
* Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer. Smells like fresh mountain dog.
* Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabrador. Won't stop barking.
* Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere. A dog that's true til the end.
* Terrier...

London Zoo has put all it's animals into lockdown during the pandemic. There's only one dog on display.

It's a shih tzu.

Praying mantises don't actually pray, laughing hyenas don't actually laugh, and songbirds don't actually sing.

The name Shih Tzu is accurate though.

Keep your friends at least 6 feet apart

... and your enemies closer.

*- Sun Tzu*

Did you know that a dog wrote a book about his adventures in space?

*I, Shih Tzu-Naut*

I wanted to see lot of animals so I went to the zoo.

But they only had one small dog.

It was a SHIH-TZU.

Telling these ones right. The worst Zoo I ever went to...

was overpriced, smelly and almost all the enclosures were empty, the only exhibit worth looking at was some yappy little dog with bug eyes, anyway...It was a Shih Tzu

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

**Golden Retriever**: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

**Border Collie**: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

**Dachshund**: I can't reach the stupid la...

What did the Chinese mathematician name his boys?

Sun Won and Sun Tzu

I took my niece to the zoo the other day...

The only animal there was a small, scruffy looking dog.

I called the zookeeper over.

"What's with the scruffy old dog? Why is that the only animal?"

"It's a Shih-Tzu"

Nice joke that doubles as a haiku.

I went to a zoo.

There was just one dog on show.

It was a shih tzu.

EDIT:
A lot of people are complaining that it's not a haiku. I read shih tzu as 1 syllable, so my mistake. Sorry for the misleading title!

A man and his daughter go to a zoo

The daughter says to her father, "Wow, I can't believe that zoo had nothing but dogs."
The father says back, "Yeah, it was a total shih tzu".

Sorry in advance for the pun...

So they opened a new zoo by my house, it really sucks. They only have one dog....it's a total shih tzu.

A walk to the zoo.

A man walks for four days to visit a zoo.

The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.

The dog looks like a St. Bernard, but the man is steadfast in his belief that it is, with certainty, a Shih Tzu.

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