UPJOKE
metalsodiumatomic number 11tiionnitasodium hydroxidenucleusartistprotonartisticartistryartrepaint

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Sara goes to the gynecologist for an examination.

She gets up on the examining table with her feet in the stirrups, and the doctor, with his head now between her legs, whispers to himself "My, what a large vagina. My, what a large vagina. My, what a large vagina. My, what a large vagina.”

“I heard you the first time! How many times must you...

I wanted to tell a Chemistry joke…,

however thought that i wouldnt get a reaction…
It was supposed to be a Sodium joke, but Na.

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa BATMAN!

Girl asked me to netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally....

So I was like na, more like pirate and booty.

I wanted to post a joke about Sodium but I was like Na, people won’t Understand.

Want to hear a joke about Sodium hypobromite?


NaBrO.

What is Beethoven's favourite fruit?

Ba-na-na-naaaaaa! Ba-na-na-naaaaaa!

What's Batman's favorite fruit???

A Bana-na-na-na-na

My grandparents were called Pearl and Dean

But obviously I called them my Grandad and Nana na na na na na na nanana

I asked the sodium if it was a popular element

It said Na

I was going to tell a joke about sodium, but NA. I usually follow it up with a joke about chloride

But it makes people salty.

I made a virtual bubble wrap to keep you all busy during quarantine. There might be some irregular bubbles, but that is normal.

>!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!Nev!< >!er !< >!Gon!< >!na !< >!Giv!< >!ve !< >!You!< >!Up,!< >!Nev!< >!er !< >!Gon!< >!na !< >!Let!< >!You!< >...

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Trump has a "Na" problem

* Chi-Na
* Vagi-Na
* Coro-Na, and
* Sodium

Na-na-na-na... Goodbye...

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I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she whispered in my ear "You have the biggest penis I've ever laid my hands on!"

I said "Na, you're just pullin' my leg!"

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Are you made from Na, selenium and xenon?

Because you are sodium SeXe.

My na always told that a great disease would be coming

Guess she had a 2020 vision

Why should you never touch NaCl?

THAT’S ASSAULT

So I have a thing for science jokes and there's this one joke about Sodium that I really love.

But then I was like Na, reddit probably won't get it

Do you have any Sodium Hydrobromide?

Or NaHBrO?

A banker buys 5 tons of NaCl...

Yeah, he's known for his compound interest.

What kind of a fish is made of only two sodium atoms

2 Na

What is Beethoven’s favourite fruit?

Ba na na na

What was the name of the huge boat that was built to harbour a mole of each element in order to not have them go extinct due to the big flood aka the big crunch of the universe?

NaOH's Ark

My girlfriend got me with a Sodium/Na pun...

I’d tell her a bad oxygen joke but I wouldn’t want the score to be 0-2.

(from my 9 year old) What is the scariest planet in Star Wars?

Na-BOO!

In a small South American village, a man was putting the final touches on a new cheese recipe…

The man, a chemist, was surprised at the secret ingredients that made it so delicious: sodium, carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen.

“Now I just need to give it a name…” he thought.

Suddenly, a burglar dropped out of nowhere and snagged the vat of cheesy goodness!

“STOP!” the man shoute...

A man finds a native American with his ear pressed to the ground.

M: What is it?

NA: Buffalo come.

M: Wow, you can tell that from listening to the ground?

NA: No, sticky ear.

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Why does NA never do well at worlds in League of Legends?

Cuz Americans are shit at defending towers

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What did the Japanese chemistry teacher say when he mixed sodium and nitrogen?

NaNi???

What's saltier than a tuNa?

A barNaCle

What did Sodium say to Bromine and Oxygen when they offered a threesome?

NaBrO

So there's this hot NA chick in my chemistry class

Her attitude is always salty, but hey, her booty is sodium fine.

What did NaCl go to prison for?

A-salt

Where did Axl Rose get arthritis?

In his Sha-na-na-na-na knees knees

Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah nah nah. Nah nah nah.

Hey June

A Jewish and an Italian boy were growing up on the same street in the Bronx and became fast friends. Mainly because they shared the same birthday.

On their 12th birthdays, the Jewish boy receives a Rolex watch. The Italian boy receives a chrome 45 cal pistol.

Comparing what each got for their birthdays, they decide to trade. The Italian boy comes home to show his father what a good trade he's made. The Italian father slaps the boy upsid...

From my 4 year old: "Dad, i just realized why these things are called nappies..."

" ...because its like a napkin for your pee, so its called na-pee!"

(proud dad moment)

Is the KKK a good source of Potassium?

Yes, because they're all bananas.

I periodically see my doctor and our conversations go like this...

Doc: your diet isn't great. Don't you think you should try to easy off on the salt?

Me: Na

Doc: you really should. You might develop respiratory issues and have trouble breathing.

Me: O

Doc: and try eating more fruits. They'll give you more vitamins and minerals

Me...

What did the dad say when sodium, phosphorus, titanium and some methyls walked into his child's bedroom at night?

NaPTiMe!

What's below your sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na knees?

Your Guns N' Toeses

I'll see myself out.

What do you call NaCl and a 9 volt being thrown at you?

Assault and battery.

The people who discovered oceans: We will never be thirsty again!

God: Na

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A guy from the city decides to go hunting

He spends a bunch of money getting all the right equipment and gear and camouflage outfit, etc. then heads out to hunt some geese. He finds his local hunting grounds and heads out with his rifle. He spends all day not seeing a single animal, and just before he decides to give up, he sees a flock o...

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An Australian bin man knocks at the door of a Chinese guy

And asks 'where's ya bin mate'
The guy answers 'I bin watching TV!'
The Ozzie asks 'na mate where's ya wheelie bin'
The guy hangs his head and says 'I wheelie been wanking'

"Hey, man. You know any good sodium jokes?"

"Na."

What animal meat has the highest concentration of salt?

High in NA

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool... (/r/AskReddit comments section liked it and I was told that you might like it, too)

*It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:*

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool.

The lifeguard asks to the class: "Does any one of you already know how to swim?"

Then the little Dimitri, all excited, an...

A farmer spent over $12 million to see the effects of marijuana on cows...

The steaks had never been higher.

I recently ordered one piece of sodium and one piece of copper.

When the delivery guy showed up, I noticed that he was only holding the sodium. I asked him,

"Did you have the copper with you?"

He replied,

"Na right now, Cu later."

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Mailman

The mailman knocks on the door. Then this very hot blond opens the door. She pulls him inside. Together they have a fun time in bed. After the sex the blond give him a dollar. The mailman asked: why do you give me a dollar. The blond replies: I asked my husband if i should give The mailman anything....

A Dad and his sheep!

Traveling salesman knocks on the door. Kid answers. Guy asks, "Is your dad home?" Kid says, "He's out back screwing the sheep." "Screwing the sheep?! Doesn't that bother you?" Kid says, "Na-a-a-a-ah!"

We had an explosion in one of our chemistry labs last week.

Nobody got hurt, but the chemist responsible is the laughing stock of his group.

We use a lot of helium in the military, that's why when there's a shortage you can't get it for balloons - it's being stockpiled by the DOD. We use it to stabilize a variety of substances for storage.

On...

Hey mate do you know what are the chemicals symbols for sodium, bromine and oxygen?

Na BrO !

What's better than a tuna sandwich?

A three-na sandwich

I recently bought a gun

It can only shoot NaCl bullets because it's a salt rifle.

So I discovered that the creatures from avatar have come up with a new business idea.

They’ll let you rent a tribesman as a father figure over the Christmas period.

I heard they’re being called For lease na’vi Dads

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The smoker the drunk and the sex addict

3 guys in jail are being ready to be released, one a chronic smoker, one a drunk and one a sex addict.

On the date of thier release they go before the judge who then turns into the devil and tells them.....

IF YOU SMOKE ONE MORE CIGARETTE YOU'LL DIE

IF YOU DRANK ONE MORE BEER Y...

An English Man, An Irish Man and a Scotchman are caught by cannibals.

The cannibals tell them they will all be skinned alive and turned into canoes and all. Of their insides eaten however, they have one last request before this happens.

The English man says "For my last request I want to have a cigar" the cannibals provide him with this and as soon as its fini...

My chemistry teacher asked me if I knew anything about sodium hypobromite.

I replied, "NaBrO"

Every time someone asks me if I'm salty?

Na...

Willow Smith to her friends: "Sorry girls, I can't get jiggy with y'all tonight. My dad said,

'Na na na na nana na'".

A little Catholic boy and a little Protestant girl, both about four years old, were growing up in Northern Ireland...

Even though Catholics and Protestants didn’t generally get along with one another, the two played together often, not understanding why their families said they shouldn’t be friends.

On one particularly hot day, the two were playing when the little girl said, “‘Tis terribly hot today. We sho...

What does a yoga instructor say after being asked to leave?

Na-ma-ste

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A 40 years old man goes to a circus show

He went there to remind himself of his most precious childhood memories, but mostly because the flyers advertised a pretty peculiar act.

The clowns, the animals, the magicians, all did their part but by the end of the show enters a little old man in his seventies, wearing a bathrobe. The old ...

During an exam, a student pokes the guy next to him and whispers, "pssst... is C the chemical symbol for chlorine?"

He whispers back, "Na, Cl you idiot!".

"OK thanks..." replies the student, "but why so salty?"

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Barbara Walters is interviewing Neil Armstrong in 2010 about him being the first man on the moon.

Barbara Walters (BW) says to Neil Armstrong (NA) "It's a great honor to interview you Mr. Armstrong. (NA) replies, "Happy to be here". Then (BW) asks him "As a young journalist hearing you speak those famous words for the first time". "One small step for man, one giant leap for Mankind", "I had to a...

What did the sodium hydride said when asked if want to react?

NaH.

A billionaire throws a party for the whole town....

A billionaire throws a party for the whole town. He has everything a billionaire could possibly have including: tennis courts, go cart track, mini-golf, private airplane, and a huge mansion. The main attraction however is the biggest swimming pool you've ever seen, and inside that pool, the worlds ...

My Doctor sent me a message out of the blue saying I need to decrease the Sodium in my diet.

Confused that he would contact me by text, I sent back “K??”

He just sent back “Na”

Now I don’t know if I should or not.

A chemist goes up to his friend.

He asks: "Do you want to hear a joke about Sodium, Bromine and Oxygen"

The friend answers: "NaBrO"

I was so drunk last night I started blowing chunks when I finally got home

"Bro, dont worry, happens to everyone"

"Na, bro, you dont understand... Chunks is my dog"

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