UPJOKE
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Na Jokes

I wanted to post a joke about Sodium but I was like Na, people won’t Understand.

Want to hear a joke about Sodium hypobromite?


NaBrO.

I made a virtual bubble wrap to keep you all busy during quarantine. There might be some irregular bubbles, but that is normal.

>!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!Nev!< >!er !< >!Gon!< >!na !< >!Giv!< >!ve !< >!You!< >!Up,!< >!Nev!< >!er !< >!Gon!< >!na !< >!Let!< >!You!< >...

How did na idiot survive after falling off a cliff?

He didn’t understand the gravity of the situation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Are you made from Na, selenium and xenon?

Because you are sodium SeXe.

NaCl / NaOH

The base is under assault!

What do you have if you have NaCl and NiCd?

A salt and battery.

English to become the official European language

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. 

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement an...

Girl asked me to netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally....

So I was like na, more like pirate and booty.

What's below your sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na knees?

Your Guns N' Toeses

I'll see myself out.

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa BATMAN!

A teacher goes for a long walk on the beach. She finds a shiny magic lamb, picks it up, and rubs it.

There is a puff of blue smoke and a genie pops out. “You have three wishes. I can give you anything in the world. If I fail, I must become your personal genie for eternity.”

The teacher thinks for a moment and says, “For my first wish, I want jewels. Silver, gold, platinum, whatever you have....

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."

"Look at what kids your age make in China!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Naked painting

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.

So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."

So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear ...

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan. 

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.

He resp...

What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common?

They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?

Donald Trump's tie.

What does a polish bride get on her wedding night that is long and hard?

a new last name

The formula for bleach is NaOH

Ha, I just lyed to you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sara goes to the gynecologist for an examination.

She gets up on the examining table with her feet in the stirrups, and the doctor, with his head now between her legs, whispers to himself "My, what a large vagina. My, what a large vagina. My, what a large vagina. My, what a large vagina.”

“I heard you the first time! How many times must you...

Why should you never touch NaCl?

THAT’S ASSAULT

what is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

Ba na na na

My na always told that a great disease would be coming

Guess she had a 2020 vision

What's saltier than a tuNa?

A barNaCle

Why did Na punch Cl?

Because he made him salty

Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah nah nah. Nah nah nah.

Hey June

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she whispered in my ear "You have the biggest penis I've ever laid my hands on!"

I said "Na, you're just pullin' my leg!"

What did NaCl go to prison for?

A-salt

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

2 Na

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The aussies will understand

Three men are hiking in the Australian outback. One man is an Englishman, another is a Frenchman, and the other is an Aussie man. The men come across a beautiful lake and decide to take a swim. Once they get out they’re greeted by indigenous tribesmen. The leader of the tribe says to the men “you ha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does NA never do well at worlds in League of Legends?

Cuz Americans are shit at defending towers

So there's this hot NA chick in my chemistry class

Her attitude is always salty, but hey, her booty is sodium fine.

I was going to tell a joke about sodium, but NA. I usually follow it up with a joke about chloride

But it makes people salty.

I thought about posting a joke about salt

but then I thought, Na, this is r/jokes, and these guys are sodium, they just won't get it.

Do you want to hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?

NaBrO

A merchant told another "I'll trade you a barium atom and two sodiums for that weight measuring device."

"BaNaNa for scale?"

My grandparents were called Pearl and Dean

But obviously I called them my Grandad and Nana na na na na na na nanana

A man finds a native American with his ear pressed to the ground.

M: What is it?

NA: Buffalo come.

M: Wow, you can tell that from listening to the ground?

NA: No, sticky ear.

Is sodium just as dangerous as francium in water?

Na not really

A Sodium atom walked into a Bar.

Bartender: How may I serve you today?
Sodium: Nothing special just the basic stuff
Bartender: OH...
Sodium: Yes.


>!NaOH is a Basic Chemical!<

What do you call NaCl and a 9 volt being thrown at you?

Assault and battery.

Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar.

The bartender says: "OH SNaP"

(from my 9 year old) What is the scariest planet in Star Wars?

Na-BOO!

Math is hard

I just couldn’t figure out the test problem log(na)^bo

It was just all bologna to me

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool... (/r/AskReddit comments section liked it and I was told that you might like it, too)

*It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:*

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool.

The lifeguard asks to the class: "Does any one of you already know how to swim?"

Then the little Dimitri, all excited, an...

A yoga instructor lives with his wife and mother ...

His mother is unhappy with their living situation. One day, the yoga instructor's wife asks her why she doesn't look for her own place. The mother says that she wants to, but every time she brings it up with her son, he says the same thing. The wife says "what does he say?". The mother replies "...

A group of four protons was complaining to a group of of eleven.

“Can’t you just let us Be?”, they asked.
The group of eleven replied, “Na”.

Two chemists were having lunch.

One says to the other, "I thought you were limiting your sodium intake."
The other one says, "I wanted to, but Na."

What’s seafarer’s favorite chemical equation?

.

NaCl(aq) + NaCl(aq)
———————————
. C^7


~~ Saline, saline, over the seven seas ~~

I'm not good with science jokes

I would make a science joke but.. Ion know..

I could try physics, but I don't wanna force it

Maybe chemistry? ...Na

Or biology, but those jokes don't cell well, and I don't like denature

I'd ask my teacher for help with jokes but he's not a very fungi

Where did Axl Rose get arthritis?

In his Sha-na-na-na-na knees knees

Do I know any jokes about sodium, bromine and oxygen?

NaBrO

We had an explosion in one of our chemistry labs last week.

Nobody got hurt, but the chemist responsible is the laughing stock of his group.

We use a lot of helium in the military, that's why when there's a shortage you can't get it for balloons - it's being stockpiled by the DOD. We use it to stabilize a variety of substances for storage.

On...

Willow Smith to her friends: "Sorry girls, I can't get jiggy with y'all tonight. My dad said,

'Na na na na nana na'".

What do you call a gullible patriarchal figure from the Avatar movie?

A Fleeced Na'Vi Dad.

NSSSA

-National Stutter Association.

A farmer spent over $12 million to see the effects of marijuana on cows...

The steaks had never been higher.

A Jewish and an Italian boy were growing up on the same street in the Bronx and became fast friends. Mainly because they shared the same birthday.

On their 12th birthdays, the Jewish boy receives a Rolex watch. The Italian boy receives a chrome 45 cal pistol.

Comparing what each got for their birthdays, they decide to trade. The Italian boy comes home to show his father what a good trade he's made. The Italian father slaps the boy upsid...

In my contacts, I should rename my crush to potassium

Because she is always responding with "K"

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