UPJOKE
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Did you hear the news about Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings?

Apparently, Shang Chi is notorious for never answering his phone

What would you call a Korean Shang Chi?

Kim Chi

A vampire decided to use his immortality to research the best career

He tried every type of job there was, from innovation to construction to civil service, and he landed on the job of mirror cleaner.

In his book on the subject, he said that the tai chi like motions of the arms were very relaxing, and the mirror will certainly get dirty again leading to job s...

I wanted to do tai chi...

But I ended up with chai tea.

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Chi-chi... or Death!

A military company is patrolling the Amazon jungle when they walk into an ambush by a native tribe. It's a total massacre; everyone save for the captain and a soldier is killed.

The natives secure the captured and brings them back to the village in the jungle. Once they arrive, they tie each ...

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Dea-th or Ka-bo-chi?

Three archaeologists are investigating a site deep in the jungles of Africa when they get caught by the jungle's tribesmen.

They are brought to the village where the village elder asks the first one.
"Dea-th or Ka-bo-chi?"
Fearing the worst, the first archeologist chooses Ka-bo-chi.<...

How chi was the Olympics?

So chi

My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasn’t awarded the gold medal.

The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.

A little Mexican girl dreamed of playing the guitar.

Her name was Maria. She was very poor, but she knew that one day she would be a famous entertainer. One sunny morning, she discovered a makeshift vihuela abandoned behind a local shop. Ecstatic, she raced home and immediately started practicing.

While carefully fingering a chord outside of h...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

I've told this story to many naive greens before me, so self-absorbed in their own notions of human conflict and the meaning of war. Whenever I finish the tale they're always pale as Lyndon B's corrupt lyin' ass. I can't blame 'em. This story kept me up throughout my whole deployment in those damn j...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump has a "Na" problem

* Chi-Na
* Vagi-Na
* Coro-Na, and
* Sodium

Na-na-na-na... Goodbye...

Did you hear about the Buddhist gynecologist?

He knows how to find the chi spot.

What do you call a dog that spies on people?

A ChiHuawei

A Chinese man fell down from his bike

He hurt his Chi-knees

There was a Chinese man who was obsessed with spoonerisms

He loved drinking chai tea and doing tai chi.

a chicken walks into a bar

A chicken walks into a bar and sits down. As the bartender approaches the chicken, he can see that the chicken's eyes are bloodshot and that the chicken seems to have a nervous shake. The bartender asks the chicken if he's alright, and the chicken says he's fine. So the bartender asks the chicken wh...

What do you call a group of California Highway Patrolmen with chewing tobacco?

CHiPs and dip.

What is the prefered chewing gum of communists?

Ho Chi MINT

What music do wind turbines listen to.....

They're huge metal fans.

Ba-dum chi

The other day I found a little dog in Queens

It looked like it was starving and cold so I decided to take it home

It was a tiny little puppy and was filthy so I couldn’t really tell what kind of dog it was and decided to ask around

I first went to my friend from the Bronx

He said “that’s not a dog just one of those baby ra...

What is Jason Voorhees's favorite country?

Chi-chi-chi Na-na-na.

Very slightly based on a true story

When I was in college, our RA was in a frat, Alpha Chi Rho (usually Chi Rho for short.) They had this setup with some various clubs, athletes usually of some sort, because a lot of them majored in physical therapy and/or massage therapy, where they'd have the guys in the frat give therapy sessions.<...

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