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Chi Jokes

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Chi-chi... or Death!

A military company is patrolling the Amazon jungle when they walk into an ambush by a native tribe. It's a total massacre; everyone save for the captain and a soldier is killed.

The natives secure the captured and brings them back to the village in the jungle. Once they arrive, they tie each ...

What would you call a Korean Shang Chi?

Kim Chi

Did you hear the news about Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings?

Apparently, Shang Chi is notorious for never answering his phone

How chi was the Olympics?

So chi

Back in 'Nam, we had to eat Kim Chi

He was our interpreter

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Coz it's a chi-can not a chi-can't

A vampire decided to use his immortality to research the best career

He tried every type of job there was, from innovation to construction to civil service, and he landed on the job of mirror cleaner.

In his book on the subject, he said that the tai chi like motions of the arms were very relaxing, and the mirror will certainly get dirty again leading to job s...

My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasn’t awarded the gold medal.

The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.

What do you call a sad dog ?

A Melan-Collie.

What do you call a sadder dog ?

A Chi-Waah-Waah.

You guys ever walk into a spiderweb?

I love doing an hours worth of tia chi in four seconds.

A little Mexican girl dreamed of playing the guitar.

Her name was Maria. She was very poor, but she knew that one day she would be a famous entertainer. One sunny morning, she discovered a makeshift vihuela abandoned behind a local shop. Ecstatic, she raced home and immediately started practicing.

While carefully fingering a chord outside of h...

A trainer at SeaWorld was in charge of keeping the dolphins healthy.

He would feed them, give them medical attention, make sure they were in good spirits. But he knew that the dolphins eventually were going to die. Well, he couldn't have that. After researching for days to no avail, he found an article written by a disgraced marine biologist about how dolphins could ...

a chicken walks into a bar

A chicken walks into a bar and sits down. As the bartender approaches the chicken, he can see that the chicken's eyes are bloodshot and that the chicken seems to have a nervous shake. The bartender asks the chicken if he's alright, and the chicken says he's fine. So the bartender asks the chicken wh...

What is Jason Voorhees's favorite country?

Chi-chi-chi Na-na-na.

Very slightly based on a true story

When I was in college, our RA was in a frat, Alpha Chi Rho (usually Chi Rho for short.) They had this setup with some various clubs, athletes usually of some sort, because a lot of them majored in physical therapy and/or massage therapy, where they'd have the guys in the frat give therapy sessions.<...

What do you call a dog that spies on people?

A ChiHuawei

Did you hear about the Buddhist gynecologist?

He knows how to find the chi spot.

A Chinese man fell down from his bike

He hurt his Chi-knees

There was a Chinese man who was obsessed with spoonerisms

He loved drinking chai tea and doing tai chi.

What is the prefered chewing gum of communists?

Ho Chi MINT

What music do wind turbines listen to.....

They're huge metal fans.

Ba-dum chi

What do you call a group of California Highway Patrolmen with chewing tobacco?

CHiPs and dip.

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Please don't go waltzing COVID-19

Once a jolly swagman traveled to the China land,

And he came back symptom free,

And he sang as he shopped and he huddled til' his virus roiled,

"I'll go a'waltzing COVID-19"

Waltzing COVID, waltzing COVID

He went a'waltzing COVID-19

And he sang as he shopped...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

I've told this story to many naive greens before me, so self-absorbed in their own notions of human conflict and the meaning of war. Whenever I finish the tale they're always pale as Lyndon B's corrupt lyin' ass. I can't blame 'em. This story kept me up throughout my whole deployment in those damn j...

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3 Sides to the Story

God tells Saint Peter," Peter, John's taking a break. I want you to go the Pearly Gates and ask every new incoming soul for their story of their death, you should have the information on their lives and how they were in their files, and follow the guidelines to let the men into heaven."

Peter...

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