Expires Jokes - 14 Hilarious Expires Jokes

My milk expires next thursday

That means my milk has a date on Valentines Day, and I still don't.

If a poison expires,

Will it be more poisonous or less poisonous?

With all my high level degrees and PHD's, I stumbled upon these questions......... 1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous? 2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?

3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?

4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?r>
5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.

6. Every time you clean something, you just make som...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once Viagra's patent expires....

There's gonna be stiff competition

I found some dressing in my fridge that expires on 12-21-2012....

It's called Mayanaisse....

I once set an alarm to tell me when my milk would expire

Spoiler alert

The town drunk stumbles over to a parking meter, stands in front of it, and reads that there are sixty minutes left until it expires.

“I don’t believe it!” he cries out. “I’ve lost 100 pounds!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joke #3481 A man receives the bad news that he's going to die in the morning

Through an unfortunate miracle of medical science, a man receives the worst news possible from his doctor.

"I'm sorry, but tomorrow morning at precisely 7:23, you're going to have a brain clot that will kill you."

The man is stunned. "But I don't even feel sick!"

The doctor exp...

I bought the 250 million year old pink Himalayan salt

Behind the package, on the label, it says that it expires in December 2022

I’ve heard it said men have been in charge and called the shots throughout history. So explain this to me:

Why do you need a new fishing license every year while your marriage license never expires?

Anyone got a fork and a plate?

Reddit handed me a slice o cake, but 2hrs til it expires and they left me without silverware and fine china needed to enjoy it :(

Now that Oracle has bought TikTok...

...you can finally get a TikTok certification for $200 that expires in one year.

January 20, 2017

The day America expires.

Three men are lost in the desert with no supplies, when the devil appears before them.

The devil looks at their skin and bones, their cracked lips, and says, “I see you’re in a bit of a rough spot. I can help you - let’s play a little game. You each get one chance to name a task I can’t do. If you succeed, I’ll save you.”

The first man immediately replies, “I bet you can’t buil...

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