A teacher is explaining the concept of statistics with an example: "Statistically, every time I breathe out, someone dies."
Student: "Have you tried antiseptic mouthwash, sir?"
What did the Mammoth say to the naked caveman?
“How can you even breathe outta that little thing?”
A blonde was walking down the street with headphones in
A friend of hers stops her, and tries to talk to her
The blonde just stares at them, keeping the headphones in her ears, so the friend removes them for her and the blonde stops breathing
The friend quickly puts the earbuds back in and she starts breathing again
The friend tries ...
One day a blonde went to the hairdresser...
The blonde ordered a trim but insisted that she absolutely could not take off the headphones she was wearing. The hairdresser declined and kicked her out of his barber shop.The blonde kept repeating the same request at different hairdresser’s until one finally agreed. As she was getting her trim the...
A blonde walks into a hairdressers
She asks the hairdresser for a trim. The hair dresser asks her to take a seat but tells the blonde she needs to remove her headphones.
Blondie insists she can't remove them and the lady will have to do the best job she can.
After a while the hairdresser gets frustrated and says, "sorry...
An Aligator and a Monkey meet by the river. The monkey is smoking something.
Aligator: Hey, what have you got there?
Monkey: I've got some of that good stuff man, it's that OG kush everyone's been talking about, you'll take one puff and you're gone! I'm telling you!
Aligator: Nah, mate,that's bull, lemme try some tho.
Aligator pulls once, nothing. Twice....
A naked man walked up to an elephant
The elephant goes, “How do you breathe out of that thing”
A blonde goes to a barber with a pair of headphones on...
The barber asks for her to take them off so he can cut her hair and she screams that he can't. He murmurs under his breath but begins to attempt to cut her hair. He is almost finished but he can't cut the hair under the damn headphones. He decides to make the decision himself by removing them. Once ...
A blonde walked into a hairdresser with headphones on...
...And says to the hairdresser, "Do anything with my hair, but don't take the earphones off".
So the hairdresser started to cut but was finding it pretty difficult, so he thinks "What could happen if I took the headphones off?", and he took them off. The blonde dropped dead straight away. ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A monkey is sitting on a riverbank, smoking weed.
A frog, swimming by, gets a whiff and makes a beeline to the shore:
'Hey dude! Mind if I take a puff?'
'Get out of town,' says the monkey. 'You're so small you'll be off your face after the first hit.'
'Oh come on, just a little bit! I've always wanted to try it.'
'Well, ...
The Blonde and the Earbuds
A blonde regularly sits in the office with a pair of earbuds in. Because of this, she regularly doesn't hear her boss. One day, the boss calls out to her, and for the umpteenth time the blonde doesn't hear him. Fed up, the boss stomps over to her desk, rips off her earphones and begins to yell at he...
A blonde is roller-skating down the board-walk one day.
A blonde is roller-skating down the board-walk one day. She's just skating along in her lycra pants, smiling at everyone, listening to her Walkman.
She decides that she really needs a haircut. She skates into the first salon she sees and goes up to the hairdresser and says, "I need a haircut....
It is a myth that you cannot breathe underwater
You can breathe out, just not in.
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