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Tester Jokes

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A software tester walks into a bar

Backs into a bar.

Runs into a bar.

Crawls into a bar.

Dances into a bar.

Flies into a bar.

Jumps into a bar.

And orders:

a beer.

2 beers.

0 beers.

987654321 beers.

a lizard in a beer glass.

\-1 beer.

"qwertyui...

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In an alcohol factory the regular tester died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position. The director of the factory wondered how to send him away. They tested him. They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said,”It’s red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers.” “...

Jobs Wanted: Ejection seat tester required.

Small amount of travelling required.

A software tester walks into a bar.

He orders a beer, -1 beers, 50 beers, nuhriuh beers, NULL beers. The barman happily fulfils the orders he can, and declines the ones he can't.

A software user walks into the same bar, and asks the barman where the toilets are. The barman explodes, the bar burns to the ground, and the building...

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Did you hear about the woman who finally achieved her life long dream of working as a dildo tester?

People said she didn't have it in her, but she does.

Back in the day, I used to be a trampoline tester...

It had its ups and downs.

I took the batteries out of the Carbon Monoxide tester

Because the loud beeping was making me dizzy and feeling nauseous!

Did you hear the Cookie Monster got Covid?

The CDC confirmed it was the om-nom-nom-nom-icron variant.




Edit: Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

Edit 2: Thank you everyone for the awards. Just trying to brighten everyone's day with a little joke. I hope this joke spreads far and wide....like Covid. Stay safe everybody...

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Bill Clinton's food tester

Bill Clinton's food tester is walking through the White House wearing a big grin.

One of the staff sees him and asks, "Why are you so happy, today? Don't you have the shitty job of trying everything before the president eats it, in case its poison?

The food tester replies, "Yep! An...

I've just lost my job as an ice cream tester.

I couldn't do sundaes

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My friend asked me whether he should take the job as a tester for super strength Viagra.

I said, “Go ahead. How hard can it be?”

I had to quit my job as a treadmill tester.

I just felt i wasn't getting anywhere!

I have a Polish friend that is a microphone tester

And a Czech one, too...

I have a small, hand-held battery tester for sale.

Batteries not included.

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I've designed the perfect toilet, but I'm struggling to find testers.

No one gives a shit.

I have blinded our team tester

Now he doesn't see any issues

I loved my job as a crash helmet tester.

But some days it did my head in.

What's common between a Game Tester and Gynecologist.

They both look for problems in places where other men find pleasure.

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It's not easy being a pill tester at the Viagra production facility...

The workers are always hard at work.

What did the Swiss man do after working 35 years as a Pepsi taste tester?

Peeecolaaa

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My wife and I had to take jobs as double-ended dildo testers.

Just trying to make our ends meet.

Who's the most famous chair tester?

Mike Easter

Clean English jokes, you must laugh!!!

Little Johnny wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test:
Tester: If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Little Johnny : SEVEN!
Tester : No, listen carefully again. If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and ...

It was mandatory drug test day at my company, and we were standing in line awaiting our turn. Finally, the tester came by with his kit, took one look at me and said, "Sir, you even look stoned. Do you think you can pass this drug test"?

"Sure, man", I said. Then I promptly grabbed the kit and passed it to the guy next to me.

Needless to say, I passed!

What kind of fish likes to try new food?

Betta tester

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NSFW I got a blowjob today.

Sadly it was as a tester at the local balloon factory.

OBGYN turns car mechanic (probably my favorite joke of all times)

A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided a career change was in order. Being an automotive enthusiast, he felt he should become a car mechanic.
He read and studied hard, and then came the day of the official exam.
Scores range between 40 and 100, where 60 is enough to pass the ex...

The difference between an Engineer and a Mathematician

An engineer and a mathematician volunteer for a test, they are both led into a large room with nothing but a naked woman at the far end. Both men are told they can do anything they want to the woman but they can only move half the distance closer whenever the tester blows a whistle.

"What's t...

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Man a Gets Job as 'Chief Tester' at a Durex Factory!

A man goes for a job in a Durex factory. The interview goes great and the lucky guy is offered the job immediately. The interviewer asks "would you like to see what you will be doing?" and the man agrees it would be good to get a feel for his new task.

They walk out into a large manufacturing...

Quality Assurance in Tea

My uncle was a tea tester. He had to test teas.

If life is a game, then God is the developer.

And I'm the bug tester...

What do you call a pro gamer that tests politics simulator games?

Pro-tester.

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I know a guy...

I know a guy who used to work as a taste tester in the Pepsi factory, but his boss treated him like shit. He said his job was soda grading.

A mechanical engineer, an electronics engineer and a software engineer where testing a new automobile..

Going down a hill the brakes started to fail. They careened down the hill at speed, screeching round the corners, narrowly missing cliff faces and sheer drops, and finally coming to a halt by steering up a grassy bank.



"Phew, that was close", said the electronics engineer, "I've got a...

What's the difference between a priest and a cryogenics researcher?

Only one of them is a chilled mole tester.

How do you stop the Russians from interfering your country's elections?

Bring in the Olympic drug-testers.

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3 boys are lost in a forest and find a cabin

They knock on the cabin’s door and an old man answers. The kids ask the old man if they can stay there for the night and the old man says “Why of course you can. There’s one rule though. Do not open this closet” the old man points to a door. “If you do there will be consequences!”

The kids, ...

A Redditor was talking to his friend.

His friend asked "So, have you decided on a job you'd like to get?" The Redditor shook his head, saying "All of the jobs are already taken by people on Reddit."

"Maybe you could work on newspapers?" The Redditor replied "There's a news subreddit that already does that."

"What about a v...

Professional taster

In a winery in Napa Valley, California, a new wine tester has just died. The president of the company worriedly published the newspaper, looking for a replacement. A mysterious drunk, ragged clothes came to apply for a job. The employer wanted to kick him drunk and go away but still wanted to test ...

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A man on a date

A guy is sitting at a bar, there's music blasting. Across from him is the most stunning women he's ever seen and she's giving him the eye.
He buys her a drink and comes over.
They seem to be getting on fantastically, and she's so beautiful everyone in the place is jealous.

Suddenly she...

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New-age alcohol test

A driver gets stopped by a cop.

Cop: "I'm gonna have to give you an alcohol test, but I forgot to bring the piss testers, so we'll just try something different."

Driver: "Fine by me."

Cop: "Imagine you're driving at night and you're seeing one headlight coming your way. What is ...

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