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My friend asked me whether he should take the job as a tester for super strength Viagra.

I said, “Go ahead. How hard can it be?”

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In an alcohol factory the regular tester died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position. The director of the factory wondered how to send him away. They tested him. They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said,”It’s red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers.” “...

A software tester walks into a bar

Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a bear. Orders -1 beers. Orders hdtseatfibkd.

First real customer walks into a bar and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames killing everyone inside.

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Did you hear about the woman who finally achieved her life long dream of working as a dildo tester?

People said she didn't have it in her, but she does.

A beta tester walks into a bar

A beta tester runs into a bar

A beta tester crawls into a bar

A beta tester moonwalks into a bar

A beta tester jumps into a bar

A beta tester sneaks into a bar

A beta tester orders 1 beer

A beta tester orders 2 beers

A beta tester orders 0 beers
...

I had to quit my job as a treadmill tester.

I just felt i wasn't getting anywhere!

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I've designed the perfect toilet, but I'm struggling to find testers.

No one gives a shit.

A software tester walks into a bar.

He orders a beer, -1 beers, 50 beers, nuhriuh beers, NULL beers. The barman happily fulfils the orders he can, and declines the ones he can't.

A software user walks into the same bar, and asks the barman where the toilets are. The barman explodes, the bar burns to the ground, and the building...

I have a small, hand-held battery tester for sale.

Batteries not included.

I have a Polish friend that is a microphone tester

And a Czech one, too...

A code tester walks into the bar

He orders 2764389237498 beers.

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NSFW I got a blowjob today.

Sadly it was as a tester at the local balloon factory.

So I found out my friends father died the other day

His last known occupation was "Bullet-proof vest tester"

I loved my job as a crash helmet tester.

But some days it did my head in.

What do you call a white hat hacker from Pennsylvania?

A penn tester

What did the Swiss man do after working 35 years as a Pepsi taste tester?

Peeecolaaa

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It's not easy being a pill tester at the Viagra production facility...

The workers are always hard at work.

It was mandatory drug test day at my company, and we were standing in line awaiting our turn. Finally, the tester came by with his kit, took one look at me and said, "Sir, you even look stoned. Do you think you can pass this drug test"?

"Sure, man", I said. Then I promptly grabbed the kit and passed it to the guy next to me.

Needless to say, I passed!

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Bill Clinton's food tester

Bill Clinton's food tester is walking through the White House wearing a big grin.

One of the staff sees him and asks, "Why are you so happy, today? Don't you have the shitty job of trying everything before the president eats it, in case its poison?

The food tester replies, "Yep! An...

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My wife and I had to take jobs as double-ended dildo testers.

Just trying to make our ends meet.

I have blinded our team tester

Now he doesn't see any issues

Quality Assurance in Tea

My uncle was a tea tester. He had to test teas.

What's common between a Game Tester and Gynecologist.

They both look for problems in places where other men find pleasure.

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3 boys are lost in a forest and find a cabin

They knock on the cabin’s door and an old man answers. The kids ask the old man if they can stay there for the night and the old man says “Why of course you can. There’s one rule though. Do not open this closet” the old man points to a door. “If you do there will be consequences!”

The kids, ...

Back in the day, I used to be a trampoline tester...

It had its ups and downs.

Who's the most famous chair tester?

Mike Easter

Professional taster

In a winery in Napa Valley, California, a new wine tester has just died. The president of the company worriedly published the newspaper, looking for a replacement. A mysterious drunk, ragged clothes came to apply for a job. The employer wanted to kick him drunk and go away but still wanted to test ...

Clean English jokes, you must laugh!!!

Little Johnny wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test:
Tester: If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Little Johnny : SEVEN!
Tester : No, listen carefully again. If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and ...

What's the difference between a priest and a cryogenics researcher?

Only one of them is a chilled mole tester.

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Quality assurance joke about sex (NSFW)

There was a quality assurance bug tester who was interested in getting pregnant. She read on a factual website that having sex without a condom will make you pregnant, so that's what she did. However, a month later, she was not pregnant.

Frustrated, she submitted a complaint to the website th...

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Man a Gets Job as 'Chief Tester' at a Durex Factory!

A man goes for a job in a Durex factory. The interview goes great and the lucky guy is offered the job immediately. The interviewer asks "would you like to see what you will be doing?" and the man agrees it would be good to get a feel for his new task.

They walk out into a large manufacturing...

What do you call a pro gamer that tests politics simulator games?

Pro-tester.

How do you stop the Russians from interfering your country's elections?

Bring in the Olympic drug-testers.

A mechanical engineer, an electronics engineer and a software engineer where testing a new automobile..

Going down a hill the brakes started to fail. They careened down the hill at speed, screeching round the corners, narrowly missing cliff faces and sheer drops, and finally coming to a halt by steering up a grassy bank.



"Phew, that was close", said the electronics engineer, "I've got a...

The difference between an Engineer and a Mathematician

An engineer and a mathematician volunteer for a test, they are both led into a large room with nothing but a naked woman at the far end. Both men are told they can do anything they want to the woman but they can only move half the distance closer whenever the tester blows a whistle.

"What's t...

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I know a guy...

I know a guy who used to work as a taste tester in the Pepsi factory, but his boss treated him like shit. He said his job was soda grading.

A Redditor was talking to his friend.

His friend asked "So, have you decided on a job you'd like to get?" The Redditor shook his head, saying "All of the jobs are already taken by people on Reddit."

"Maybe you could work on newspapers?" The Redditor replied "There's a news subreddit that already does that."

"What about a v...

God is giving the animals purpose during Creation.

He goes over to three of the animals and quizzes them: "What is your purpose with Man?"

The horse, a large, strapping beast, says, "My purpose is to be Man's feet when he is tired, his back when he cannot lift, and his last refuge in times of hunger."

The cow, a rotund, meaty animal, s...

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A man on a date

A guy is sitting at a bar, there's music blasting. Across from him is the most stunning women he's ever seen and she's giving him the eye.
He buys her a drink and comes over.
They seem to be getting on fantastically, and she's so beautiful everyone in the place is jealous.

Suddenly she...

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New-age alcohol test

A driver gets stopped by a cop.

Cop: "I'm gonna have to give you an alcohol test, but I forgot to bring the piss testers, so we'll just try something different."

Driver: "Fine by me."

Cop: "Imagine you're driving at night and you're seeing one headlight coming your way. What is ...

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